Hi everyone,
I yet again am racked with anxiety,not as much but it’s a question and advice request.
So I’m sure you all are aware that the Bible commends hard work.I admit on my part I struggle with laziness(around the house,not my job) and sometimes I’m just exhausted from so much stress and anxiety from my ocd,and it’s crippling to think of the future with hard work at those times.
But I’m worried to only be a useful effective worker for the Lord I have to be a minister or preacher,or be a missionary or constantly work in ministry to be a biblical worker.To me early on I was interested in being a biblical apologist or professor but I now want more to be a orchard farmer,I’m worried that God would/will want me to do a job I don’t like and/or want to make him happy.Not to say I’m not willing to sacrifice to make him happy,I’m fully committed to do that at any moment,I’m saying that I’d have to work a job I don’t like to be of any good use.
You are "racked with anxiety" against the clear command of God's word, Blaise.
1 Peter 5:6-7
6 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:
7 Casting all your care upon him; for he cares for you.
Philippians 4:6-7
6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
None of the above verses are given in the form of a suggestion. You aren't to massage your worries and fears, you aren't to habituate yourself to anxiety, if you are God's child. Instead, you are to "cast all your care (anxieties) upon God," you are to be "anxious
for nothing." Every time you indulge in anxiety, every time you worry and obsess about some fearful prospect, you disobey God and you declare that He does not love you, that He does not care about you deeply, and that He hasn't the power to keep you, and supply for you, and protect you, as He has promised to do. The result is that God grows distant in your thinking, small and impotent, and joyful, peaceful fellowship with Him is halted. He will never leave you nor forsake you (
Hebrews 13:5-6), His word promises, but enjoying Him is impossible while you encourage anxiety within yourself.
Modern psychology wants to tell us we are victims, that we have "mental diseases" for which we are not responsible and over which we have no power. In the matter of fear, however, God's word says something quite different to us.
1 John 4:18-19
18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.
19 We love, because He first loved us.
2 Timothy 1:7
7 For God has not given us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, love, and sound judgment.
Isaiah 26:3-4
3 You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you: because he trusts in you.
4 Trust in the LORD for ever: for in the LORD JEHOVAH is everlasting strength:
You are fearful and obsessive because you have chosen to be. At this point, however, being so much in the habit of anxiety, the only way you'll get free of your OCD is to give over control of your thinking, of yourself, to God. Stop massaging your anxieties; instead, when you begin to grow fearful, yield yourself to God and recognize that every time you move toward anxiety you are moving out from under His control. He would have you in "perfect peace" if you would make a practice of fixing your mind upon Him and consciously, willfully placing yourself under Him in humble submission. The peace will not appear in an instant, of course; it took time for you to become so fearful, to become habituated to anxiety, and it will take time for God to bring you into a new habit of thinking and behaving centered upon Him. But He will not do so unless and until you make a new habit of staying under His control.
This is, really, the battle that you're losing every time you yield yourself to anxiety: Self vs. God. Whenever you are on the throne of your heart, you build on the habit of fear you've established, which is the very opposite of what God will do were He seated on the throne. Every moment of fearful obsessiveness you choose declares that you have pushed God from the throne and are seated there in His place. You aren't the helpless victim of a mental disorder but merely reaping the harvest of fleshly, Self-ruled living that you've chosen - and continue to choose - that God says always in some way produces corruption, sin and death.
Romans 8:5-8
5 For those who are according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit.
6 For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace,
7 because the mind set on the flesh is hostile toward God; for it does not subject itself to the law of God, for it is not even able to do so,
8 and those who are in the flesh cannot please God.
If your mind isn't set on God, resting in Him, it is set on the flesh and you are, therefore, unable to please Him.
Galatians 6:7-8
7 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap.
8 For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption...
When you are running the show, it is always from the flesh that you do so. And from the flesh, God promises corruption is always, in some way, produced. In your case, anxiety (among other things, I'm sure) is part of the "harvest of corruption."
You can't make good decisions from a mind crowded with anxiety. Certainly, you can't expect God to guide your mind when it isn't yielded to Him. In any case, when God moves you to act in service to Him, He will alter your desires so that you want what He wants. Do you honestly believe that God is going to put you in service to Himself totally against your will and desire? What sort of a servant would you make in such a condition? A pretty horrible one, I'd think. God will put you out of your "comfort zone," at times, to grow you, but never will He employ you in service to Himself while you are hating every moment of that service. We follow our desires, ultimately, which is why God promises to give us both the desire and the ability to do His will.
Philippians 2:13
13 for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.