How d'you cope with being unmarried and sexually aroused?

[alfrodull]

I don't think truth beyond opinion DOES exist for this topic. The Bible isn't exactly clear on it, as much as some people would like to believe it is...Hence the number of interpretations.

 

[Atlantians]

To prevent masturbation and to NOT engage in intercourse is surely to invite death, mental disorders, and otherwise unpleasant effects.

You're gonna have to make a choice:
a)Indulge in human nature and forget what the church says.
b)Indulge in what the church says and forget about human nature.

I gurantee there's no hell. I gurantee there is no god wrathful capable of striking anyone down. I gurantee this against my own soul for I KNOW it is truth.

I advise option A. It'll save you a lot of heartache and pain. It will help you live your life to the fullest.

That is absurd unChristian advice that he never asked for.

And FYI: I havn't Masturbated in over 5 years.
It isn't unhealthy or impossible as you lie about it being.

The Christian faith is not easy.

And FYI Human nature is sinful.

Oh and you can't guarantee either of those things.
Stop trying to tear away peoples beliefs please, especially when unsolicited.

 

[Atlantians]

I could tell but then I'd have to kill you. No, I'm not joking. I'm dead serious. Has anyone ever wondered WHY the catholoic priest scandal happened?

They unknowingly allowed perverts and homosexual perverts into the priesthood.

Those kinds of evil rapes happen everywhere, not just in the Catholic Church.

You can't suppress something as important as having sex without weiiiiiird and unnatural stuff happening.

Yes you can, actually.

They were not self-controlling and sinful at the core.
They were Trojan horses that got through the gates.

And, unfortunately, I'm pretty sure we're already crawling with STDs and parentless, abandoned, love-deprived children. And I firmly believe that a good part of it is due to the suppression of comprehensive sex education. Again, if you don't have the knowledge, how can you possibly protect yourself and those around you?

Or an abundance of those who hold your views on the subject indoctrinating the youth of the past present and future into your self-destructive ideology.

I don't think truth beyond opinion DOES exist for this topic. The Bible isn't exactly clear on it, as much as some people would like to believe it is...Hence the number of interpretations.

What is the Bible not clear on?

 

[alfrodull]

What is the Bible not clear on?

Many things...As much as modern Christians focus on sexual sin, it isn't exactly a big focus in scripture. For example, polygamy and incest appear frequently, not always in a critical light, and masturbation isn't mentioned once.

Also, the definition of porneia. It's debatable whether what is often translated as "fornication" was actually intended to mean "fornication." I'm not here to debate whether it does or does not, as the issue is obviously not going to be resolved in the course of this thread. I'm just pointing it out because I'm sick of different conflicting denominations saying they have the only valid interpretation, and the internet is the only place I can vent about it without being socially ostracized.

 

[JadeTigress]

Or an abundance of those who hold your views on the subject indoctrinating the youth of the past present and future into your self-destructive ideology.

Meh, if that's what you want to think, that's your right.

Though I'm not exactly sure how protecting myself from pregnancy and refusing to participate in any sort of sexual activity with someone who has an STD is self-destructive. Sounds more like self-preservation to me.

 

[AetheriusLamia]

Though I'm not exactly sure how protecting myself from pregnancy and refusing to participate in any sort of sexual activity with someone who has an STD is self-destructive. Sounds more like self-preservation to me.

You're misrepresenting what he's said. The self-destructive ideology being promoted by today in the name of education and progress involves sexual activity without commitment, and the abuse of the body (and soul through the rebellion against God) through self-invoked sterility (to facilitate sexual activity without commitment.)

I am very pleased to see someone else in this thread who has good ideas about sex. I was on the verge of unsubscribing from this thread due to a continued fruitless discussion of ignorance. In short, for the past few pages, my question of, "How do you cope?" has been answered with "I don't." I should likely revise the OP to include further definition of chastity, that is, responding in a Christian manner to premarital sexual arousal, but I have far too much Physics homework at the moment -- which, ironically, is a method of coping ipso facto.

 

[r3b0rn]

How d'you cope with being unmarried and sexually aroused?

I'm on guard every day, and I do my best to avoid situations that would cause sexual arousal, or add to my sex drive. I try not to feed it.

If I do get tempted to fap or something? I took a lesson from Joseph and learned to run. I busy myself with something else. I don't entertain the temptation, or let my mind wander. I just make a decision not to do it, before I weigh up the pro's and cons.

I know, alot of people would say fapping is okay. Perhaps, if it is purely mechanical, then there is nothing wrong, however, that doesn't make it good. I take a "if in doubt, don't" approach to the situation.

It's certainly not detrimental to my walk with God to abstain from masturbation, whereas to engage in it can be and usually is detrimental to my walk with God due to the lust it (more often than not) leads to.

 

[Benjamin1981]

Now this is a HOT topic! IMO there's nothing wrong being sexually aroused, it's just a feeling like any other, and very enjoyable one, but don't become a slave of those feelings. Same goes basically with everything.

 

[Benjamin1981]

To prevent masturbation and to NOT engage in intercourse is surely to invite death, mental disorders, and otherwise unpleasant effects.

You're gonna have to make a choice:
a)Indulge in human nature and forget what the church says.
b)Indulge in what the church says and forget about human nature.

I gurantee there's no hell. I gurantee there is no god wrathful capable of striking anyone down. I gurantee this against my own soul for I KNOW it is truth.

I advise option A. It'll save you a lot of heartache and pain. It will help you live your life to the fullest.

I'm not here to debate, but this comment has sooo much truth in it so I just have to second it!

There truly isn't hell, and not a SINGLE soul will be perished, and u know what, satan is WORKING for God! So don't worry about any nonsense in this world and live like birds without a worry, everything here is under control and just the way it's meant to be! Our Daddy and trillions of angels are watching over us!

And don't bother quoting bible to me, it's stupid trying to understand God by a book. God bless and Good Night Brothers and Sisters! &

 

[JadeTigress]

I think it's more self destructive and indoctrinating to yell and scream and berate people about sex and having sexual urges, both of which by the way are entirely normal... And then turn around on a random day where you sign a couple papers and exchange rings, and then yell and scream and berate people for not having sex.

Sex is a natural urge. I think that's pretty obvious. To act as if it's disgusting and shameful is as rational as saying sneezing is shameful... Remembering always that sex is something that most people are expected to have at some point, you're sending insanely mixed messages with "sex is bad, sexual urges is bad, to have either is bad, to touch is bad, to acknowledge your sexual nature is bad" and then "you're married, the marriage bed is undefiled, do what you want, and if you don't offer sex to your spouse, you're bad."

And things like safe sex, information on birth control, etc etc is something that's not only key, but absolutely needed. Almost everybody will have sex in their lives, and every last single person needs to know how to protect themselves from STDs, unwanted pregnancy, and the other issues that surround sexual activity. If you wait until after people have sex to share that stuff, then it's too late. It's information you need before you're active, not after. And if you deny it to people, that means they're still having sex, but they're not as safe, not as educated, and way more vulnerable.

There's a reason that kids who get abstience-only education have a higher rate of unwanted pregnancy, STDs, and health issues. It's because sex is natural, everybody has a desire for it, everybody can figure out how to do it, so to not teach how to do it is about as rational as not teaching people about health and nutrition because if they know how to eat, they'll eat junk food. In the end, they already know how to eat, but without being taught about how to tell good and healthy food from bad and unhealthy food, you've completely removed their ability to make smart and safe choices that are for their best health and wellbeing.

Why people would willfully want to deny others the information to be safe and healthy, I don't know.

Quoted for Ultimate Truth

 

[Atlantians]

I think it's more self destructive and indoctrinating to yell and scream and berate people about sex and having sexual urges, both of which by the way are entirely normal...

I entirely agree that urges are normal.

And sex is designed by God.

And then turn around on a random day where you sign a couple papers and exchange rings, and then yell and scream and berate people for not having sex.

You are demonizing the Biblical position.

Sex is designed for a specific intimate emotional/spiritual/intellectual/commited and exclusive union between a man and a woman.

The Bible is very clear that such is what sex was designed to be within the context of. As an adhesive, as a catalyst for a deeper emotional bond.
And as a symbolic union that creates a new life.

Anything outside of God's decreed and designed plan is damaging, offensive to God, and thus described by the word: sin.

Sex is a natural urge. I think that's pretty obvious.

I agree.

To act as if it's disgusting and shameful is as rational as saying sneezing is shameful...

That analogy is a little silly.

However, sex is not disgusting nor is it shameful.

Agreed. In the proper context it is in fact wonderful, holy, and pure.

Remembering always that sex is something that most people are expected to have at some point, you're sending insanely mixed messages with "sex is bad, sexual urges is bad, to have either is bad, to touch is bad, to acknowledge your sexual nature is bad" and then "you're married, the marriage bed is undefiled, do what you want, and if you don't offer sex to your spouse, you're bad."

We are not sending mixed messages, but rather a consistent and Biblical message.

You are making a Straw Man of the Biblical perspective and a straw man of our perspective.
You have misrepresented what we have said.

like "sex is bad,

We never claimed that.

sexual urges is bad,

Never claimed that.
Fulfilling therm outside of marriage is sin.
The urge is not.

to touch is bad,

I would argue it is sinful because it is sexual behavior outside the intended arena of marriage.

to acknowledge your sexual nature is bad"

Never argued that.

and then "you're married,

This is the proper place.

the marriage bed is undefiled,

Actually the verse reads "keep the marriage bed undefiled".

It is a rebuke against sexual immorality.

do what you want,

For the most part, yes. With your spouse.

and if you don't offer sex to your spouse, you're bad."

Well, yes. God intended the husband and wife to enjoy each others' bodies.
That was a design he implemented.

He created it to foster the relationship.

So it is unhealthy to not do so inside the context of marriage.

And things like safe sex, information on birth control, etc etc is something that's not only key, but absolutely needed.

What is needed is more dedication and conviction to idealize marriage as was designed.

I have no issues whatsoever with birth control and I don't have an issue with such information being easily accessible.

and every last single person needs to know how to protect themselves from STDs, unwanted pregnancy, and the other issues that surround sexual activity.

If you wait until after people have sex to share that stuff, then it's too late. It's information you need before you're active, not after. And if you deny it to people, that means they're still having sex, but they're not as safe, not as educated, and way more vulnerable.

I agree with sex education. That isn't the point of this thread.
You are creating a red herring. You are attacking a straw man.

We are talking about dealing with sexual temptation and what sexual sin is.

Not all these peripheral issues that wouldn't even be a problem for someone who is following God's plan and keeping themselves pure for the consummation of that purity in the purity of the marriage relationship.

I'm not here to debate, but this comment has sooo much truth in it so I just have to second it!

There truly isn't hell, and not a SINGLE soul will be perished, and u know what, satan is WORKING for God! So don't worry about any nonsense in this world and live like birds without a worry, everything here is under control and just the way it's meant to be! Our Daddy and trillions of angels are watching over us!

And don't bother quoting bible to me, it's stupid trying to understand God by a book. God bless and Good Night Brothers and Sisters!

There is not a shred of truth to anything you or she said.
How can you where that Cross yet deny half of Christian doctrine which is founded in and on that book you dismiss?

Hell is real.
Jesus spoke more about it than heaven.
Christ Died to save us from the Father's wrath. To pay our fine for our sin.

I have already responded to her false remarks so I won't go there again.

Satan is the enemy, how dare you assert he is an ally.

And if you are not here to debate,
please don't make comments that require a response!

 

[Apollo Celestio]

I'm not here to debate, but this comment has sooo much truth in it so I just have to second it!

There truly isn't hell, and not a SINGLE soul will be perished, and u know what, satan is WORKING for God! So don't worry about any nonsense in this world and live like birds without a worry, everything here is under control and just the way it's meant to be! Our Daddy and trillions of angels are watching over us!

And don't bother quoting bible to me, it's stupid trying to understand God by a book. God bless and Good Night Brothers and Sisters! &

How do you justify this belief? I say at best Satan thinks he is a good guy but that is as good as it gets. (By Pride, delusion, spite, or insanity.)

On topic, I can't relate, but perhaps dream about the future, about whomever you'll be with, and how you'll honor God together. I can't say much more because I can't relate.

 

[NotHardcore]

TropicalWilds=awesome.

I'm on guard every day, and I do my best to avoid situations that would cause sexual arousal, or add to my sex drive. I try not to feed it.

If I do get tempted to fap or something? I took a lesson from Joseph and learned to run. I busy myself with something else. I don't entertain the temptation, or let my mind wander. I just make a decision not to do it, before I weigh up the pro's and cons.

I know, alot of people would say fapping is okay. Perhaps, if it is purely mechanical, then there is nothing wrong, however, that doesn't make it good. I take a "if in doubt, don't" approach to the situation.

It's certainly not detrimental to my walk with God to abstain from masturbation, whereas to engage in it can be and usually is detrimental to my walk with God due to the lust it (more often than not) leads to.

Are you a goon* or a reader of the Something Awful forums? Just curious because I've never seen anyone outside those forums use the term "fapping."


*SA forum members call themselves "goons," it's not an insult or anything.

 

[EspressoDuck]

It's almost amusing just how worked up people have the tendency to get....

I just wanted to pop in and recommend a book to the OP, if he's still lurking around. It's called Every Young Man's Battle by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker, and it goes into detail about sexual urges, why we feel them, masturbation, pornography, pre-marital sex, and tools and strategies for overcoming sexual urges when they can't be met according to God's word. It's frankly worded, written by guys who have 'been there, done that' and very, very helpful. I'm a girl, and I gained a lot from reading it.

That's all, back to your feverish arguing.

 

[alfrodull]

It's almost amusing just how worked up people have the tendency to get....

I just wanted to pop in and recommend a book to the OP, if he's still lurking around. It's called Every Young Man's Battle by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker, and it goes into detail about sexual urges, why we feel them, masturbation, pornography, pre-marital sex, and tools and strategies for overcoming sexual urges when they can't be met according to God's word. It's frankly worded, written by guys who have 'been there, done that' and very, very helpful. I'm a girl, and I gained a lot from reading it.

That's all, back to your feverish arguing.

That book is perhaps the least effective argument for purity I have ever read. Most of the book can be summarized as "We [the co-authors] messed around a lot in college. We had an awesome time, and we didn't face any major consequences. But for some theological reasons we aren't going to attempt to justify other than on the most superficial level, you shouldn't do what we did."

I don't believe premarital sex is right, but by the time I put down the book I was almost convinced that Christians had just spent a few centuries constructing an artificial standard and deluding themselves....Probably not what someone trying to stop looking at porn or stay abstinent wants to have in their head...

 

[EspressoDuck]

Well, I suppose that if nothing else, their argument for purity emphasizes the difference between sexual relationships outside of and within marriage. One is superficial and impatient, and the other is not.

Anyway, to each their own. I got a lot of out of the book, but others might not, it's true, and I'd rather not argue about it and derail this thread even further.

 

[Atlantians]

It's almost amusing just how worked up people have the tendency to get....

I just wanted to pop in and recommend a book to the OP, if he's still lurking around. It's called Every Young Man's Battle by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker, and it goes into detail about sexual urges, why we feel them, masturbation, pornography, pre-marital sex, and tools and strategies for overcoming sexual urges when they can't be met according to God's word. It's frankly worded, written by guys who have 'been there, done that' and very, very helpful. I'm a girl, and I gained a lot from reading it.

That's all, back to your feverish arguing.

That is a good suggestion!
Other books by them with a similar kind of focus are:
"Every Young Woman's Battle"
and to girls maybe 17 and over "Every Woman's Battle"
As well as to the guys 17 and over: "Every Man's Battle".

They have other books for girls also written by women that are involved in their Ministry, like:
"the secrets women keep"

It all seems to be great stuff.

I listen to the author's radio program "New Life Live" every time I can.

I don't recall what their position on masturbation is but everyone here knows where I and many others hear stand on the issue and why we do.

That noted, they are quite good.

That book is perhaps the least effective argument for purity I have ever read. Most of the book can be summarized as "We [the co-authors] messed around a lot in college. We had an awesome time, and we didn't face any major consequences. But for some theological reasons we aren't going to attempt to justify other than on the most superficial level, you shouldn't do what we did."

I fail to see why you would say that.

I don't know if it is EYMB but the Every Man's Battle outlines the fact that the author, before becoming a Christian, was one day driving his car along and saw a very beautiful woman jogging down the street in tight clothes. His gawking stare was cut short by his car smashing into another car that had stopped right in front of him.

 

[r3b0rn]

TropicalWilds=awesome.



Are you a goon* or a reader of the Something Awful forums? Just curious because I've never seen anyone outside those forums use the term "fapping."


*SA forum members call themselves "goons," it's not an insult or anything.

'Fraid not. Sorry

 

[Apollo Celestio]

Secular interwebs produce that word all the time.

 

[alfrodull]

I fail to see why you would say that.

I don't know if it is EYMB but the Every Man's Battle outlines the fact that the author, before becoming a Christian, was one day driving his car along and saw a very beautiful woman jogging down the street in tight clothes. His gawking stare was cut short by his car smashing into another car that had stopped right in front of him.

I have not read EMB, so I cannot speak for it. Maybe they dumbed EYMB down significantly.

In any case, I think that if someone truly desires to stay pure, they have to have their own reasons to do so. Someone else's argument probably isn't going to sway you regarding a powerful biological drive.