How do you not get emotionally attached?

[VozNocturna]

I wanted to go back and respond to the question. I will be honest and admit that it is very hard for me to not get emotionally attached. People in who know me in real life would be very surprised because I come off (superficially) as emotional detached, which is far from the truth. My close friends know otherwise.

I think it's easy to see a few qualities that we admire in a person of the opposite sex and assume that "this is the one!" When admiration leads to fantasies about one's wedding day, you've stepped into the danger zone. Because of this, I prefer to keep strong boundaries around my relationships with men and save my emotions for my friendships with women. My rule is: unless I am willing to TELL this man that I like him or unless this person makes it clear to me that he likes me and are interested in having a relationship with me, then he will remain firmly in the "brother" category.

Life is too short and time is too precious to waste them daydreaming about a relationship that may never come to fruition. I no longer let myself get excited when men flirt or show interest. I just take it for what it is. Some may call this cold, but after 11 years of relationships with men, I've had enough experience to know that unless someone makes their intentions clear then there is no need to invest mental and emotional energy into fantasies. God wants us to use our time (mental, emotional and physical) to glorify Him.

 

[puffca]

I would...

Make more friends.
Pursue a career.
Invest time and money for the future.
Cherish everyday because each new day is a gift.
Cherish families and friends I currently have.
Take care of my health; Exercise.
Come to CF frequently, encourage other people here, but don't be overly indulgent to it.

God bless!

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

I would...

Make more friends.
Pursue a career.
Invest time and money for the future.
Cherish everyday because each new day is a gift.
Cherish families and friends I currently have.
Take care of my health; Exercise.
Come to CF frequently, encourage other people here, but don't be overly indulgent to it.

God bless!

Pretty much!

 

[SuperSaint4GodDBZStyle]

I'm still trying to get over my ex and it's been over a month. She still thinks that we could still hang out like we used to and go out to eat, especially at Olive Garden. I haven't really taken her out or just hung out anywhere with her lately. Sure we're just friends, but it's hard trying to be friends and she's wanting to do all of this stuff with me. It's like she's trying to let me go and yet she still wants all the benefits. To me, I think she's spoiled and needs to grow up. She's 3 yrs younger than I am now. She made me mad yesterday by the way she treated me, but I forgive her. She wanted to go out for her birthday this weekend but I coudn't take her because my car was messed up. The thing she made me mad about was that she said to never speak to her again and she hung up on me. So, I just left it at that and went on about my business. I didn't call her to say happy birthday or buy her anything for her birthday. I don't like to be used by anyone. Ever since we've been friends she has been begging a lot from me. Like wanting me to buy her something or asking for 50 cent or more. Well, that's about it. I still pray for her to be saved though. I don't know how she'd react when I see her again.

 

[Blank123]

i used to be pretty bad about daydreaming until i came to the point that b4a and others have been talking about where i decided i needed to start controlling where my thoughts were going. there's just nothing worse than building up a bunch of hopes and dreams for a relationship that just isn't going to work.

i don't think its wrong to become emotionally attached to people because to be realistic no relationship, even friendship, can ever happen unless there is some level of attachment there. but i think its just important to guard your heart by using your head and God given discernment in how far you allow that attachment to go.

 

[Beauty4Ashes]

continually say in your head "I am content being single," "I am content being single" until you wash the other thoughts out of your mind.

 

[Eph429]

I am fortunately of strong character and been independent most my life, so I don't get emotionally attached to someone. But I have experienced someone being emotionally attached to me, and it was exhausting as well as draining. He was sapping my strength, to the point where I had to break it off with him.

You don't need someone to complete you, only the Lord does. You yourself hold the key to your own happiness, once you need someone to "complete" you, you're in choppy waters.

 

[overit]

I am fortunately of strong character and been independent most my life, so I don't get emotionally attached to someone. But I have experienced someone being emotionally attached to me, and it was exhausting as well as draining. He was sapping my strength, to the point where I had to break it off with him.

You don't need someone to complete you, only the Lord does. You yourself hold the key to your own happiness, once you need someone to "complete" you, you're in choppy waters.

Ditto Eph...same for me.

 

[BoazB]

One good way is to have a REALITY CHECK:
It works rather like the cynical saying:
A potential SO is like a parking space in the Central Business District: All the best ones are taken.

Another thought is this:
Never make your name idiot (That always helps)