How do you know who 'The One' is?

[Lavender.bloom]

Hello
I want to know how to know if the guy you are seeing is the one God wants you to marry.
Input please!!! Ive had 3 guys in my past who were christians ask me to marry them, but I just was not interested in any of them. The guys I have liked in the church have never liked me back, so I'm discouraged. I want to tell you what happened with the 3 guys in my past.
The first one was there at the right 'timing' and we met in the strangest way at the strangest place. It was not a church setting to say the least. I was not interested in him romantically at all. But- we had so much in common- we could of been a good fit, i just wasnt into it though.
The second guy was this dude who was my best freind and he flat out said' do you want to court and give it a shot." I in no way form or fashion liked him. The 3rd guy- and this is wild-

Was a guy who was very much a lover of God, we had the same interests, age, similar personality- he was 'good looking' in the main stream sense. I was not into him at all. One day when we were hanging out. He was talking about his passion for the Lord and simply stated that he wants to do mission work and "go where nobody wants to go." AT that moment, Gods spirit came over me very very strong and very very deep. Gods spirit was reminding me of how much I love the 'untouchables' and hurting, wounded people. It was so deep. God was showing me that was what I was here for. And THEN- FOR about 3 seconds I looked into his eyes and felt a deep attraction to him. He looked so beautiful to me and very attractive spiritually and his heart was gold. At that moment i was attracted to him. And then it VANISHED. It was like this intense magical attraction completely disapeared. He just became the same old guy. It was SO WEIRD how my attraction to him just SHIFTED after the Spirit came upon me. I never liked him- then like a miracle, for 3 seconds i saw him so desireable. And then it went away. Is God trying to tel me something??? I dont like these guys, but it seems as though I could of had a marriage with one of them. I want a guy that I actually like. Im in my 30s and feel like i missed out on some oportunities. But then again i was just not interested in any of them. The 3rd guy, that situation was just wierd. And I know it was God. WHAT was God trying to say????? And some girls tell me God led them to a man they didnt like but then they grew to like him. Its so confusing. And I want to know. Please help. Thanks....!

 

[Stranger36147]

Whenever someone mentions 'the one', I always think of:

 

[Lavender.bloom]

Whenever someone mentions 'the one', I always think of:
hahaha xD

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

Hello
I want to know how to know if the guy you are seeing is the one God wants you to marry.
Input please!!! Ive had 3 guys in my past who were christians ask me to marry them, but I just was not interested in any of them. The guys I have liked in the church have never liked me back, so I'm discouraged. I want to tell you what happened with the 3 guys in my past.
The first one was there at the right 'timing' and we met in the strangest way at the strangest place. It was not a church setting to say the least. I was not interested in him romantically at all. But- we had so much in common- we could of been a good fit, i just wasnt into it though.
The second guy was this dude who was my best freind and he flat out said' do you want to court and give it a shot." I in no way form or fashion liked him. The 3rd guy- and this is wild-

Was a guy who was very much a lover of God, we had the same interests, age, similar personality- he was 'good looking' in the main stream sense. I was not into him at all. One day when we were hanging out. He was talking about his passion for the Lord and simply stated that he wants to do mission work and "go where nobody wants to go." AT that moment, Gods spirit came over me very very strong and very very deep. Gods spirit was reminding me of how much I love the 'untouchables' and hurting, wounded people. It was so deep. God was showing me that was what I was here for. And THEN- FOR about 3 seconds I looked into his eyes and felt a deep attraction to him. He looked so beautiful to me and very attractive spiritually and his heart was gold. At that moment i was attracted to him. And then it VANISHED. It was like this intense magical attraction completely disapeared. He just became the same old guy. It was SO WEIRD how my attraction to him just SHIFTED after the Spirit came upon me. I never liked him- then like a miracle, for 3 seconds i saw him so desireable. And then it went away. Is God trying to tel me something??? I dont like these guys, but it seems as though I could of had a marriage with one of them. I want a guy that I actually like. Im in my 30s and feel like i missed out on some oportunities. But then again i was just not interested in any of them. The 3rd guy, that situation was just wierd. And I know it was God. WHAT was God trying to say????? And some girls tell me God led them to a man they didnt like but then they grew to like him. Its so confusing. And I want to know. Please help. Thanks....!

I've had similar experiences with one of two people that were gung-ho for God. In those moments they seemed very attractive and ideal partners for the life and work God has called me to. But it goes deeper than that. I believe there will be mutual interest in both individuals that will grow to love (over time) I did a study on a series devoted to love verse infatuation and wrote a piece afterwards on my blog. You or anyone else are welcome to give it a read in hopes that it will help. Stay blessed!
Love vs. Infatuation ~ Tales of Mel

 

[Lavender.bloom]

I've had similar experiences with one of two people that were gung-ho for God. In those moments they seemed very attractive and ideal partners for the life and work God has called me to. But it goes deeper than that. I believe there will be mutual interest in both individuals that will grow to love (over time) I did a study on a series devoted to love verse infatuation and wrote a piece afterwards on my blog. You or anyone else are welcome to give it a read in hopes that it will help. Stay blessed!
Love vs. Infatuation ~ Tales of Mel

Social Expiriment- thats exactly what happened. The guy where i felt attraction to for 3 strange seconds spiritually was bilingual with the same foreign language i am in and wanted to travel that country. It was like a match made in heaven. But I am just not interested in him!

 

[Lavender.bloom]

I read your blog. it was really good, thnx

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

I read your blog. it was really good, thnx

no problem. i'm glad you enjoyed it.

i'd like to get back to the question you posed in your thread title, however. i think the answer i would give to that is to find out all the people who are NOT the one. marriage partners are a big decision and the blessings or consequences (of picking the wrong one) last for a lifetime and even more so if there are children involved.

moreover, what i did was get alone with God and just spent time with Him. I told him the characteristics i wanted in a mate and just took that time pouring my heart out to Him. you know psalmist said that if we delight ourselves in Him, He will give us the desires of our hearts. so I fasted and prayed and did just that. granted, i'm still waiting. But He will make due His promise in His timing.

i got a little help with these ideas from Pastor Tony Evans. I picked up a series he did on fasting and praying. and one of the messages he preached was one for singles. I still have a copy of it if anyone is interested in hearing and applying it to their lives. i can upload it to chirbit and pass the link on to anyone interested. just send me a private message if that's the case.

 

[Sketcher]

Hello
I want to know how to know if the guy you are seeing is the one God wants you to marry.
Input please!!! Ive had 3 guys in my past who were christians ask me to marry them, but I just was not interested in any of them. The guys I have liked in the church have never liked me back, so I'm discouraged. I want to tell you what happened with the 3 guys in my past.
The first one was there at the right 'timing' and we met in the strangest way at the strangest place. It was not a church setting to say the least. I was not interested in him romantically at all. But- we had so much in common- we could of been a good fit, i just wasnt into it though.
The second guy was this dude who was my best freind and he flat out said' do you want to court and give it a shot." I in no way form or fashion liked him. The 3rd guy- and this is wild-

Was a guy who was very much a lover of God, we had the same interests, age, similar personality- he was 'good looking' in the main stream sense. I was not into him at all. One day when we were hanging out. He was talking about his passion for the Lord and simply stated that he wants to do mission work and "go where nobody wants to go." AT that moment, Gods spirit came over me very very strong and very very deep. Gods spirit was reminding me of how much I love the 'untouchables' and hurting, wounded people. It was so deep. God was showing me that was what I was here for. And THEN- FOR about 3 seconds I looked into his eyes and felt a deep attraction to him. He looked so beautiful to me and very attractive spiritually and his heart was gold. At that moment i was attracted to him. And then it VANISHED. It was like this intense magical attraction completely disapeared. He just became the same old guy. It was SO WEIRD how my attraction to him just SHIFTED after the Spirit came upon me. I never liked him- then like a miracle, for 3 seconds i saw him so desireable. And then it went away. Is God trying to tel me something??? I dont like these guys, but it seems as though I could of had a marriage with one of them. I want a guy that I actually like. Im in my 30s and feel like i missed out on some oportunities. But then again i was just not interested in any of them. The 3rd guy, that situation was just wierd. And I know it was God. WHAT was God trying to say????? And some girls tell me God led them to a man they didnt like but then they grew to like him. Its so confusing. And I want to know. Please help. Thanks....!

Honestly, I don't think that whether or not you get to marry The One God Wants For You comes down to a 3-second window in life. If God has a will and a purpose for it, he's going to outrun you like he did Jonah. You're going to be where He wants you to be, doing what He wants you to do, and this guy is going to be back, and still be single, and still be interested, and you'll be drawn to him (and you'll still be single). People that say they love God a lot - you don't know if their talk is cheap or if the way they live their life in the long haul demonstrates their claims. If he's true, he'll prove himself.

This is of course assuming that God really does care about who you marry as much as you think he does. It's a very big deal to us, so it's natural to project that priority onto God. At the end of the day, it's very likely not as high priority as the prophets of old prophesying Christ's coming and telling the people of Israel how they should live. He had Jeremiah not marry at all, and he had Hosea marry a harlot. Most other people in the Bible didn't have clear direction from God on who specifically to marry. I'd say embrace that freedom and that responsibility to marry whomever you want who is Biblically single and a good Christian man. Talk with older women who married well about what qualities to look for that you might be overlooking.

 

[blackribbon]

I don't think we will really know. I married the man I couldn't imagine him not being in my life ... even after years of not being in and out of each other's lives. He was the one whom I committee to love him in spite of his flaws...this was a commitment I took very seriously and followed through on even in the hard times. I remember thinking as I walked down the aisle that this was either the best decision of my life or the worst....I am glad to say, it was the former...but it did involve him loving me as much as I loved him...even on the worst days.

I was did have other options. He wasn't the one my mother would have picked for me or likely most of our friends would have seen us with. I can't imagine having been married to anyone else. It is both an educated decision mixed with blind faith...and lots of commitment to having a servant's heart.

 

[Joined2krist]

I don't think God choses spouses for everyone, even Christians. If you come across a good Christian man from a good family, go ahead

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

try not to make such a mystical and magical thing of it because it's not really that.

find a guy you like, make yourself available socially to him, get to know him, hope the feeling is mutual, and go for it.

 

[twinserk]

I wish I could tell you. I thought I knew, but then "the one" left.

 

[twinserk]

Double.

 

[HamoNinja]

Hello
I want to know how to know if the guy you are seeing is the one God wants you to marry.
Input please!!! Ive had 3 guys in my past who were christians ask me to marry them, but I just was not interested in any of them. The guys I have liked in the church have never liked me back, so I'm discouraged. I want to tell you what happened with the 3 guys in my past.
The first one was there at the right 'timing' and we met in the strangest way at the strangest place. It was not a church setting to say the least. I was not interested in him romantically at all. But- we had so much in common- we could of been a good fit, i just wasnt into it though.
The second guy was this dude who was my best freind and he flat out said' do you want to court and give it a shot." I in no way form or fashion liked him. The 3rd guy- and this is wild-

Was a guy who was very much a lover of God, we had the same interests, age, similar personality- he was 'good looking' in the main stream sense. I was not into him at all. One day when we were hanging out. He was talking about his passion for the Lord and simply stated that he wants to do mission work and "go where nobody wants to go." AT that moment, Gods spirit came over me very very strong and very very deep. Gods spirit was reminding me of how much I love the 'untouchables' and hurting, wounded people. It was so deep. God was showing me that was what I was here for. And THEN- FOR about 3 seconds I looked into his eyes and felt a deep attraction to him. He looked so beautiful to me and very attractive spiritually and his heart was gold. At that moment i was attracted to him. And then it VANISHED. It was like this intense magical attraction completely disapeared. He just became the same old guy. It was SO WEIRD how my attraction to him just SHIFTED after the Spirit came upon me. I never liked him- then like a miracle, for 3 seconds i saw him so desireable. And then it went away. Is God trying to tel me something??? I dont like these guys, but it seems as though I could of had a marriage with one of them. I want a guy that I actually like. Im in my 30s and feel like i missed out on some oportunities. But then again i was just not interested in any of them. The 3rd guy, that situation was just wierd. And I know it was God. WHAT was God trying to say????? And some girls tell me God led them to a man they didnt like but then they grew to like him. Its so confusing. And I want to know. Please help. Thanks....!

Hmmm interesting topic... and some good advice stated here....

I too at one time was caught in my own infatuation many years ago when I was in my 20s thinking that I would one day meet 'The One'... yet in my naivety I learnt a sobering lesson... that this is idea of being partnered up with the one that the Father has planned from the beginning of his creation... then the expectation (usually our own) to try and unravel the mystery, clues, hard lessons to figure out who they are.... one biblical example that comes to mind... Isaac and Rebekah...

I believe we are asking the wrong question here, something my God-Father taught me early on in my my born-again journey with Jesus was that... "instead of focusing on what 'you' are looking for in a godly lifetime partner; try focusing on "being" the godly lifetime partner for someone, whether it happens or not... and then he gave me Proverbs 31:10-31

Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character
10 b]">[b]A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

My god-father explained that our wants/ desires tend to overshadow what we should be expected to be and act not just as potential husbands/ wives, but as children of the living God... it's like when you see problems/ issues in others you are trying to engage/reason with, but you expect them to change for you especially when there is something in their life you do not like. Yet the simple answer is we need to humble ourselves, to change ourselves before they are willing to listen... then allow time for them to see that we ourselves have changed and then they will see and start to mirror that expectation/ change we are seeking... NB: Don't get me wrong, this is by no means true all of the time.

Hence, this is no different with finding a godly life-partner... we need to ensure we ourselves are all that we should as it is stated in Proverbs 31, so that when someone who does come along and we connect with... that they will see the precious gem that you/ we are (ultimately they will see/ sense Jesus in your life!!!). Plus Proverbs 31 isn't just about finding a godly-wife this can be characterized as well in relation to a godly-husband too.

Finally to add, this is no recipe or quick strategy... but it is really about realizing in our own journeys with Jesus, whether we meet or not meet someone; we should always be striving to live such a life for Him ultimately anyway, because isn't Jesus who you want to spend your life with for all eternity...?