How do you know when you are ready?

[JenHolley]

I have know a guy for about 3 1/2 years. During that time we have gotten to know each other. We became friends and then grew closer. We started actually dating this past July 3. I have had it suggested to me by the guy I'm now dating that he would be interested in marriage. I know right now he seems to be exactly what I need and want in a man. I feel he would make a good dad to my son. They even interact well. I think while he was at Promise Keepers he picked up a pamphlet about how to know who to marry. Hence one of the ways I knew that he was actually seriously thinking about it. Anyway, my question is do you feel like that is enough time to be w/ someone and to know that they are actually the one? I have been praying about this because I have been married before and have gone through a divorce and don't want that to happen again. Also because this past Feb I had been dating someone else and broke up w/ them then. I did talk to him about some couples counseling. I feel and so does he that may help us in our decision along w/ praying about it.

 

[DaveKerwin]

It is all circumstancial. If I was you I would seek God very diligently, then go to couples counceling like you said.

 

[JenHolley]

So far that's what I am doing. He mentioned it to me and I fainted. He doubted that he needed to even think about it w/ my reaction. I had to reasure him that I just need time to think about this and to get some other things off my plate before I consider this huge step.

 

[rach]

I think that anything is possible with God. But not only that, if you've known the guy for a long time and been good friends then that is enough to know his personality and character. And not only that, but it doesn't let the physical and "puppy love" get in the way. So, even though you've been a couple for a short amount of time, it's not like you just met in July. However, you should always pray and pray and pray some more about it. But I'd say logically marriage wouldn't be too crazy. Emotionally and spiritually you need to pray about, but if God is leading you to marriage then it would be a good idea to get married! Hope that helps.

 

[JenHolley]

I think that anything is possible with God. But not only that, if you've known the guy for a long time and been good friends then that is enough to know his personality and character. And not only that, but it doesn't let the physical and "puppy love" get in the way. So, even though you've been a couple for a short amount of time, it's not like you just met in July. However, you should always pray and pray and pray some more about it. But I'd say logically marriage wouldn't be too crazy. Emotionally and spiritually you need to pray about, but if God is leading you to marriage then it would be a good idea to get married! Hope that helps.

That does help to actually hear someone say that. Thanks.

 

[SlowRoasted]

wow 3 1/2 years? Ive known my girlfriend for a little over a year now, we just got together last summer and are courting/dating. If marriage be God's will for us, Id like to get married in another 2 years once i get out of college. That will be a little over 2 years of dating. I know everyone has different circumstances but if you keep yourself right with God he will lead you to the right decision. Pray that God takes the feelings away from you if he isnt the one. One reason that I decided to start a relationship with the girl im with is because the closer I got with God the stronger my feelings became for her. I had been praying that God show me the way and there is no doubt in my mind that he has shown me the way and will continue to as long as I stay right with him. As for right now, keep God the center of your relationship and keep it physically pure. Continue to seek God's guidance and read your bible.

 

[JenHolley]

I haven't prayed for a mate in a long time. I was hurt by someone that just kind of kept me from wanting to look. I have been finding out that people have been praying for me that God would send me a good hearted, loving, Christian man. One that would support me and would love my son. The closer I became to this guy the more we had the same feelings that we would like to date someone that we were friends first. That's when we stopped and looked at one another and realized that everthing we were looking for in a mate was in each other. I also found out that he was one of the people in my life that was praying that God send me a good Christian man. He said that he had not considered himself when he asked God to send someone. It just happened. I've started praying that God show me the way and give me strength and courage to be able to walk that path and knoledge to know if he trully is the one God has for me.

 

[GirlForChrist]

I think that anything is possible with God. But not only that, if you've known the guy for a long time and been good friends then that is enough to know his personality and character. And not only that, but it doesn't let the physical and "puppy love" get in the way. So, even though you've been a couple for a short amount of time, it's not like you just met in July. However, you should always pray and pray and pray some more about it. But I'd say logically marriage wouldn't be too crazy. Emotionally and spiritually you need to pray about, but if God is leading you to marriage then it would be a good idea to get married! Hope that helps.

I totally agree here, I'm in the same situation you are (my b/f and I have been together for 8 months though, and plan to marry after college). So PRAY PRAY PRAY and remember the Lord will guide and provide for you.

 

[desi]

Before agreeing to marry you should inquire around about the circumstances surrounding the demise of his previous relationships just in case something is wrong with him which could bite you in the !@# later.

 

[JenHolley]

Before agreeing to marry you should inquire around about the circumstances surrounding the demise of his previous relationships just in case something is wrong with him which could bite you in the !@# later.

Actually I already know about his past relationships. He has been more interested in work and cars and getting his life started than in women. The last relationship he was in he broke it off because of the girl. She wasn't exactly his type IMO. I'm not even sure if she is a Christian. She would try and smother him and was a very self centered person. I met her and have been around her. He dated her while we were friends. I'm just the opposite. I am a tom boy that works on my own cars and gives all that I can to my son and my friends. Sometimes that's actually a fault of mine.

 

[streddog]

I'm new here Jen But I have been Married for two years, I got engadged to my wife less than a year after we started dating. I know that there is no required time for a couple to date before they should get married. It is important that you know that you can be married to someone who is carreer oriented, as it sounds like your boy-friend is.

 

[JenHolley]

Well he is wanting to find a new job. That is actually how we met. His dad and I work together and have been friends since I started working here. He started working where we work a little after me, but in a different area, so I don't see him. I pass him in the hall once in a while. We both know that this relationship can not exist w/ both of us working here even tho we have very little contact. He is career oriented. I'm glad for that. I feel he would be a good provider. I guess this might explain a little about my question.

 

[desi]

Sounds like you know him well. If you can accept the way he is now for the rest of your lives you probably have a safe bet marrying him.

 

[JenHolley]

Sounds like you know him well. If you can accept the way he is now for the rest of your lives you probably have a safe bet marrying him.

Thanks for your feed back.