How do you know if you have really forgiven someone?

[Steve109]

I have a specific question concerning forgiveness. I know that the Bible is very clear that Christians must forgive others. I understand that we are to forgive our fellow Christians as well as non-Christians. I also understand that God requires us to forgive even when the other party isn't sorry or repentant. Beyond this, I understand that God will even chasten us if we persist in unforgiveness. My question is this:

How do you know if you have truly forgiven someone else?

I know that forgiving another person does not mean that all feelings of pain or hurt caused by another person must be gone. Sometimes it may still hurt if the thought of that person and what they did comes to mind.

I also know that forgiveness is done obedience to the Lord - it is an act of the will. After that, it also seems like it is also an ongoing act of the will to "reckon" a past offense as still forgiven when something causes you to be reminded of the offense.

What biblical guidance is there to help me be sure that I have truly forgiven someone?
(kindly - please keep responses to those that can be supported from the Bible - please reference book, chapter, and verse for any points made.)

thank you.

 

[bookofjade]

I have a specific question concerning forgiveness. I know that the Bible is very clear that Christians must forgive others. I understand that we are to forgive our fellow Christians as well as non-Christians. I also understand that God requires us to forgive even when the other party isn't sorry or repentant. Beyond this, I understand that God will even chasten us if we persist in unforgiveness. My question is this:

How do you know if you have truly forgiven someone else?

I know that forgiving another person does not mean that all feelings of pain or hurt caused by another person must be gone. Sometimes it may still hurt if the thought of that person and what they did comes to mind.

I also know that forgiveness is done obedience to the Lord - it is an act of the will. After that, it also seems like it is also an ongoing act of the will to "reckon" a past offense as still forgiven when something causes you to be reminded of the offense.

What biblical guidance is there to help me be sure that I have truly forgiven someone?
(kindly - please keep responses to those that can be supported from the Bible - please reference book, chapter, and verse for any points made.)

thank you.

Forgiveness is learning how to let go, somethings you can let go of quickly, some less quickly, and other things take a long time to let go. But once you let go of what you're feeling then you will have forgiven completely.

 

[Hieronymus]

Forgiveness is learning how to let go, somethings you can let go of quickly, some less quickly, and other things take a long time to let go. But once you let go of what you're feeling then you will have forgiven completely.

That sounds more like detachment than forgiveness (to me).
But that could be overlapping attitudes..

 

[bookofjade]

That sounds more like detachment than forgiveness (to me).
But that could be overlapping attitudes..

Could be.

 

[quietpraiyze]

I have a specific question concerning forgiveness. I know that the Bible is very clear that Christians must forgive others. I understand that we are to forgive our fellow Christians as well as non-Christians. I also understand that God requires us to forgive even when the other party isn't sorry or repentant. Beyond this, I understand that God will even chasten us if we persist in unforgiveness. My question is this:

How do you know if you have truly forgiven someone else?

I know that forgiving another person does not mean that all feelings of pain or hurt caused by another person must be gone. Sometimes it may still hurt if the thought of that person and what they did comes to mind.

I also know that forgiveness is done obedience to the Lord - it is an act of the will. After that, it also seems like it is also an ongoing act of the will to "reckon" a past offense as still forgiven when something causes you to be reminded of the offense.

What biblical guidance is there to help me be sure that I have truly forgiven someone?
(kindly - please keep responses to those that can be supported from the Bible - please reference book, chapter, and verse for any points made.)

thank you.

I knew because I wanted God's best for them and that freely flowed out of my heart and through my lips. In my emotions it was as if the offenses had never happened. It didn't happen overnight. What helped me was God removing the "hurt". So when I thought about the offense, I wouldn't feel it. So there are offenses I remember and I should so that I don't find myself in those same situations again but God healed my emotions so it doesn't harm me whenever I think about it. Also I'm able to share and help someone who may need it without being hurt all over again. For me forgiving has always been assisted/enabled by the Holy Spirit. You can read the gospel and see how Jesus dealt with the betrayal of Judas, the denial of Peter, and abandonment of almost all His disciples. God never ask anything of us that He Himself was not the first fruit of.

 

[Grafted In]

You will no longer expect the one you have not forgiven to make it right. You will no longer expect things to return to the way they were before they hurt you.
There is no way things can return to what they were before. What's done is done and no matter how hard they try they cannot undo what was done. Sometimes, as it was in my case, you will realize that you played a much bigger part in causing the one who hurt you to do so.
Again, in my situation after I had forgiven I saw that I created the perfect conditions for what hurt me.

 

[David4223]

I think that if you have to question whether or not you've truly forgiven someone -- then you haven't yet.

It's a tough process, and one that can only be accomplished through prayer and meditation.

 

[Hank77]

What biblical guidance is there to help me be sure that I have truly forgiven someone?
(kindly - please keep responses to those that can be supported from the Bible - please reference book, chapter, and verse for any points made.)

So how do you know that you have forgiven?
I Corinth. 13 - What does love look like?
If your love looks like the description in these verses, then you can know that you have forgiven.

 

[farout]

I have a specific question concerning forgiveness. I know that the Bible is very clear that Christians must forgive others. I understand that we are to forgive our fellow Christians as well as non-Christians. I also understand that God requires us to forgive even when the other party isn't sorry or repentant. Beyond this, I understand that God will even chasten us if we persist in unforgiveness. My question is this:

How do you know if you have truly forgiven someone else?

I know that forgiving another person does not mean that all feelings of pain or hurt caused by another person must be gone. Sometimes it may still hurt if the thought of that person and what they did comes to mind.

I also know that forgiveness is done obedience to the Lord - it is an act of the will. After that, it also seems like it is also an ongoing act of the will to "reckon" a past offense as still forgiven when something causes you to be reminded of the offense.

What biblical guidance is there to help me be sure that I have truly forgiven someone?
(kindly - please keep responses to those that can be supported from the Bible - please reference book, chapter, and verse for any points made.)

thank you.

What is forgiveness, and who benefits from forgiving the most? I have struggled with this much of my life too. Perhaps I have told myself "if I don't for give this person, I won't be forgiven" so reluctantly I said I for give you, to myself and said I did it. But I don't think so.

I am working on my seventh decade of life on this planet, and I have wrestled with Scriptural mandated to forgive. Here is my results I have finally arrived at. Forgiveness in for my benefit, this releases me to get rid of the ache that eats at my emotions, keeps we awake at night, and makes my belly hurt! Forgiveness according to The Bible is doing as what God has done for us and is an act of kindness, Ephesians 4:32. We are not forgiven without forgiving others Matthew 6:15 and James 2:13. Jesus rescued us, redeemed us, and forgave us Colossians 1:13-14.

I believe our salvation is also God forgiving our sins, as well as Jesus Christ giving us the POWER in responding to his love, gives the strength to forgive. For me forgiveness means to not take any further action. I may not feel a thing, that for me takes longer. But I take the first step and let go and take no further action. I may not need to even see the person again, I may not even have to be close to them, but I take no more further action. That puts the rest in Gods hands. I have gotten real peace and even if it sounds odd it works.

I hope I have shared something helpful.

 

[Jim Langston]

I once asked God to teach me forgiveness and soon theteafter i was pretty much swindled out of $100,000 in real estate capital. I was buying a duplex with a relative, paying half and living in half, and a year and a half later they said i was renting, not buying. This is after the $200,000 duplex went up in value to around $400,000.

It took me a while to forgve them in my heart, whete I could think of this person without immediately being resentful.

It says in the bible if your brother offends you and asks for forgiveness you forgive them. I've heard people say things like, I've forgiven them, but I'm never going to lend them money again. I don't believe that is true forgiveness.

If this person wanted to buy real estate with me again i would, even without a contract. If they steal from me that is not between me and them but them and God.

Luke 6:30 says give to everyone that asks. Not what you expect to get back. It is wxtremly difficult to live that way, but if you can I believe while the world is calling you and idiot God is calling you a faithful servant.

So, to know if you have truly forgiven them would you put yourself in the same situation where they offended you?

 

[Homebrewer]

My experience is that forgiveness is not between you and the person..... it's between you and Jesus. You must go to Him, connect and find the place where you KNOW that you have given it to Him, and then you will know that He has also given you a new heart of love for the person of offence. I could tell a story here, but we'll see how this tread goes. -

 

[Cimorene]

You are able to make new memories with them that are good & so you're not always thinking about what they did that caused you to need to forgive.

 

[farout]

I have a specific question concerning forgiveness. I know that the Bible is very clear that Christians must forgive others. I understand that we are to forgive our fellow Christians as well as non-Christians. I also understand that God requires us to forgive even when the other party isn't sorry or repentant. Beyond this, I understand that God will even chasten us if we persist in unforgiveness. My question is this:

How do you know if you have truly forgiven someone else?

I know that forgiving another person does not mean that all feelings of pain or hurt caused by another person must be gone. Sometimes it may still hurt if the thought of that person and what they did comes to mind.

I also know that forgiveness is done obedience to the Lord - it is an act of the will. After that, it also seems like it is also an ongoing act of the will to "reckon" a past offense as still forgiven when something causes you to be reminded of the offense.

Several of us have posted to you. Have you no reply?

What biblical guidance is there to help me be sure that I have truly forgiven someone?
(kindly - please keep responses to those that can be supported from the Bible - please reference book, chapter, and verse for any points made.)

thank you.