How do you heal from a broken heart?

[peacechild4]

I know this is one of those.. impossible questions to answer.. I still will put it out there..

I know GOD says HE will heal the broken hearted.. obviously it is a real dilmema... but I wonder how does it happen.. and how long..

Mine is..... and it is majorly affecting me and my kids.. I need a quick route to healing if possible???

I put half my life into a relationship.. or thereabouts.. and I am so lost now.. please tell this is normal.. and I am not some freak..

I am suffering PMT tonight.. and feeling really ill and majorly flat.. so umm that might be contributing too..

Just so hard.. I have four kids at home.. and I really wish I could get through this just for their sakes..

Mothers day is coming up and I feel so darn guilty... I am not a great mother and I am eight months out from a husband who walked out.. and shouldn't I be getting over it by now???

Thanks even if you just listen.. sorry needed to share..

 

[Marycita]

Don't apologize for getting it out! That's what we're here for -to listen!


I probably don't have any practical advice for you - but I don't think that eight months is necessarily sufficient time for you to get over this - it's not that long for something this big

And I know that God will heal your broken heart! Just run into His arms and let Him

I'll be praying for you and your family

 

[Periann]

How long were you married? They say that it takes half the time of the duration of the relationship to actually get over someone. So if you were married for 10 years, maybe 5? But it's probably silly to make it so formal.

Breaking up with someone you've really loved is hard (and how much harder is it when you have kids, can't imagine), and I don't think you need to feel hard on yourself for feeling bad. I'm sorry sister. The only way to get through it, is to just get through it and try to live as enjoyable a life as you can with just you and your kids. Healing is a process and you can't really put a deadline on it.

 

[seekthelord]

Just to let you know I live a fulfilled life with a permanently broken heart.
And it's been that way for 18 years now.
And God cannot resore that brokenness yet God can compensate.
Of course it does depend on what a broken heart consists of.
Not that I am in the healing business but I suspect many broken hearts can be healed because with God all things are possible .......................................
Excvept for my broken heart!
seekthelord

 

[mina]

It takes time. Time does a lot of healing. It's not easy. Cry it out if you need to, yell it out, just don't be afraid to get it out if you need to. Go to a counselour if you need to; just talking with someone who will not judge you and will let you just talk does wonders.
I'm sorry you are going through this Don't give up; keep going day by day until you are stronger on the other side.

 

[songz777]

Pain is real!! When I hurt like that I cry and cry and cry until the safety valves has no pressure left! God heals each tear is a wound healer.. time heals and Gods blue skies and sunny days do come again.. they really do.

 

[peacechild4]

Thank you everyone.. it is late here so cannot reply as I would like too.. but my heart is blessed just reading your responses...

 

[Aino]

I thought about this for a while and came to the conclusion that I don't have anything constructive to say myself, for what do I know of heartbreaks... So I just decided that I'd give you a couple of hugs and prayers instead and to quote the Bible for some wisdom.
Psalm 139:
1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.
5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

 

[Blank123]

Its normal, especially considering how serious your relationship was. Its going to take some time to heal. Don't feel guilty about that. You're in mourning, and you need to allow yourself to mourn and not to rush through it, or you're going to wind up suppressing feelings that will come back later on you. You wouldn't rush yourself through mourning the loss of a loved one, don't rush yourself on mourning the loss of this relationship and all the hopes and dreams you held with it.

praying for you and your kids

 

[JohnDB]

I know the pain of what it is that you are feeling...only too well.

Wish I didn't either...

When a couple gets divorced or there is a separation like what you have described it is similar to having a close loved one die. Food and friendship comforts need to be brought over to help you with your grieving...but sadly no one does that sort of thing. All you have is an empty house and the children who all need you.

So...

as far as the help goes....time.

Take a lot of it...I know you want the hurting to be over...but it never really does go away. The best way I can describe it is like an arm that gets cut off of your body....no...you won't die. But the arm can't be replaced either...but you can learn to live without the arm and go on with life.

And that is what you need to be concerned with mostly....learning how to live without being married. If you can do that...and be unconcerned about having a mate...you will be doing wonderful again.

Wish I had better news and comfort...but it is all I got.

 

[white dove]

It takes time. Time does a lot of healing. It's not easy. Cry it out if you need to, yell it out, just don't be afraid to get it out if you need to. Go to a counselour if you need to; just talking with someone who will not judge you and will let you just talk does wonders.
I'm sorry you are going through this Don't give up; keep going day by day until you are stronger on the other side.

What she said... Also, to add my own hugs in:


I cannot stress enough the importance of time, especially considering you were with him for that long. Lay it all in front of God. Allow that time for grieving (because you are grieving a significant loss), be patient with yourself if it seems like "Why can't I get over this already??!" Take each day as it comes and relish in the happiness that comes with being around your children. Take time to grieve when it suits you, but also take time to find those moments of happiness... everyday. I guarantee they're there.

 

[peacechild4]

Don't apologize for getting it out! That's what we're here for -to listen!


I probably don't have any practical advice for you - but I don't think that eight months is necessarily sufficient time for you to get over this - it's not that long for something this big

And I know that God will heal your broken heart! Just run into His arms and let Him

I'll be praying for you and your family

Thanks so much Marycita...

 

[peacechild4]

How long were you married? They say that it takes half the time of the duration of the relationship to actually get over someone. So if you were married for 10 years, maybe 5? But it's probably silly to make it so formal.

Breaking up with someone you've really loved is hard (and how much harder is it when you have kids, can't imagine), and I don't think you need to feel hard on yourself for feeling bad. I'm sorry sister. The only way to get through it, is to just get through it and try to live as enjoyable a life as you can with just you and your kids. Healing is a process and you can't really put a deadline on it.

19 years.. together since kids.. well I have known him since he was 16 and I, 17 years of age.. he is younger..

(((Thank you)))

 

[peacechild4]

Just to let you know I live a fulfilled life with a permanently broken heart.
And it's been that way for 18 years now.
And God cannot resore that brokenness yet God can compensate.
Of course it does depend on what a broken heart consists of.
Not that I am in the healing business but I suspect many broken hearts can be healed because with God all things are possible .......................................
Excvept for my broken heart!
seekthelord

YES all things are possible for GOD.. thank you... bless you..

In my brokeness.. GOD has given me so much love.. and I can now turn and love others and show them HIS love.. bless HIS holy name..

 

[peacechild4]

It takes time. Time does a lot of healing. It's not easy. Cry it out if you need to, yell it out, just don't be afraid to get it out if you need to. Go to a counselour if you need to; just talking with someone who will not judge you and will let you just talk does wonders.
I'm sorry you are going through this Don't give up; keep going day by day until you are stronger on the other side.

Thank you Mina...

 

[peacechild4]

Pain is real!! When I hurt like that I cry and cry and cry until the safety valves has no pressure left! God heals each tear is a wound healer.. time heals and Gods blue skies and sunny days do come again.. they really do.

Thank you for your comment.. and words.. it means alot..

 

[peacechild4]

I thought about this for a while and came to the conclusion that I don't have anything constructive to say myself, for what do I know of heartbreaks... So I just decided that I'd give you a couple of hugs and prayers instead and to quote the Bible for some wisdom.
Psalm 139:
1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.
5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

Thank you... there is much wisdom and care in your post and what you have shared..

 

[peacechild4]

Its normal, especially considering how serious your relationship was. Its going to take some time to heal. Don't feel guilty about that. You're in mourning, and you need to allow yourself to mourn and not to rush through it, or you're going to wind up suppressing feelings that will come back later on you. You wouldn't rush yourself through mourning the loss of a loved one, don't rush yourself on mourning the loss of this relationship and all the hopes and dreams you held with it.

praying for you and your kids

Thank you and especially for your prayers... I feel so much better today.. all the support has been wonderful..

 

[peacechild4]

I know the pain of what it is that you are feeling...only too well.

Wish I didn't either...

When a couple gets divorced or there is a separation like what you have described it is similar to having a close loved one die. Food and friendship comforts need to be brought over to help you with your grieving...but sadly no one does that sort of thing. All you have is an empty house and the children who all need you.

So...

as far as the help goes....time.

Take a lot of it...I know you want the hurting to be over...but it never really does go away. The best way I can describe it is like an arm that gets cut off of your body....no...you won't die. But the arm can't be replaced either...but you can learn to live without the arm and go on with life.

And that is what you need to be concerned with mostly....learning how to live without being married. If you can do that...and be unconcerned about having a mate...you will be doing wonderful again.

Wish I had better news and comfort...but it is all I got.

All you got... wow.. thank you.. it is enough believe me.. some wouldn't answer at all.. and many go on about their way.. but those who stop and just care.. it is priceless believe me..

With what you have given.. I will go do the same to others.. it is a chain reaction.. every time you do something like this.. it is more then you could ever know..

Bless you and all those you love.. and may all your dreams come true.. yours and every persons who have stopped to comfort, pray and give me kindness..

 

[peacechild4]

What she said... Also, to add my own hugs in:


I cannot stress enough the importance of time, especially considering you were with him for that long. Lay it all in front of God. Allow that time for grieving (because you are grieving a significant loss), be patient with yourself if it seems like "Why can't I get over this already??!" Take each day as it comes and relish in the happiness that comes with being around your children. Take time to grieve when it suits you, but also take time to find those moments of happiness... everyday. I guarantee they're there.

Thank you.... I love your hugs and I will do these things.... I feel so much better today.. GOD bless you all.. so many of you so wise and so much younger then I..