How do you handle this situation?

[Stanfi]

Ok, here is a situation. Let's say that you meet someone. They are nice, but you are not really interested in "going out", or even moving toward a potential dating type relationship. It seems like they are interested in more of a relationship with you. How do keep from hurting the other persons feelings, but not allow yourself to get pushed into a situation that you would rather not be in because you do not want to hurt someone else? What is the proper way to handle a situation like this.

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

I don't know that it's the proper way. But when I'm in this situation, I'm honest. Sure, someone might get hurt, but they'll get over it eventually. And telling the truth is much more honorable than lying to protect their feelings, which is (IMO) insulting to them.

I tend to look at situations like this as though they were business, try to leave out the emotion, because emotion clouds reason.

It's like pulling off a bandaid. It's going to hurt either way, so there's no sense dragging it out.

 

[wvmtnkid]

Unfortunately, iklepac is right. It tends to get akward sometimes, but honesty is the best way to go. I would rather have someone be honest with me than lead me on. Plus, the more the other person's feelings deepen the harder the rejection is going to be on them. You don't have to be brutally cruel, but something like "I think you are a great person, but I don't see us being anymore than friends" is a pretty good way to start. Ugh, that sorta makes me cringe just typing it! But, really, in the long run, honesty will win out. And the earlier the better. If not, the other person just ends up feeling used by you . Like, they were just there to keep you company until someone better came along.

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

Why do so many responses start with

"unfortunately iklepac is right..."?

(just kidding)

 

[Donny_B]

Of course, when you break it off with someone abruptly like that, you are possibly losing a valued friend that could be there in the long run for you through some tough times, especially when there are no other prospects around. Some people are "all or nothing", they have to be head over heels in love with the person, or else will not even talk with that person of interest...I have even been accused of that...there is no middle ground. But platonic friendships with persons of the opposite sex can be very valuable. Then again, when it comes to marriage, that has to be "all or nothing", because the wife may not understand.

 

[wvmtnkid]

Why do so many responses start with

"unfortunately iklepac is right..."?

(just kidding)

LOL! I never thought that would come across as unfortunately you were right. Maybe this should go in the other thread about how we talk to people!

 

[desi]

Tell her you like her but God is leading you in a different direction right now.