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How Do You Feel About This?

Simon/Rock

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Does anyone else find it hard to find another True Christian to date?

It just seems like having standards and morality in today's dating World, limits
a persons options even more. Don't get me wrong, I won't settle, but it does get lonely
sometimes.
 
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Someone once said that finding the right one is discovering someone with the traits you cannot live without and the flaws you can lovingly tolerate.
Regardless, I'd rather be a male in these circumstances than a female. It seems like there are more female fishies in the sea that meet the godly criteria of someone that's suitable as opposed to the selection of guys that are out there.
 
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Simon/Rock

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I'm 33. If I don't find a woman to court/date, and then marry within the next couple of years, I'm going to just give up on trying to have any biological children. I really want them. So for now, that's still a requirement, but that hope is quickly fading.

But yeah, I would think that California would be harder to find a Christian guy.
 
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I'm 33. If I don't find a woman to court/date, and then marry within the next couple of years, I'm going to just give up on trying to have any biological children. I really want them. So for now, that's still a requirement, but that hope is quickly fading.
I always find it curious when professing believers say stuff like this. I can't fault anyone. Because I used to say similar things. But have you ascertained if it's God's will for you to have children or not? If it were me, I'd start there and get a definite answer from Holy Spirit. Then depending on what He says, I'd dig in and wait it out in faith until the promise comes.. I'm assuming the answer would be yes since it's something you desire. But like everything else, it has its conditions put on it too. Don't give up!

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ImAllLikeOkWaitWat

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I always find it curious when professing believers say stuff like this. I can't fault anyone. Because I used to say similar things. But have you ascertained if it's God's will for you to have children or not? If it were me, I'd start there and get a definite answer from Holy Spirit. Then depending on what He says, I'd dig in and wait it out in faith until the promise comes.. I'm assuming the answer would be yes since it's something you desire. But like everything else, it has its conditions put on it too. Don't give up!

I agree with inquiring with God in regards to matters such as these. I know that I was a forever alone type and could've given up but in one of my frequent talks with God he told me I would find a girlfriend and within the next year I did. So definitely pray about God and be absolutely honest about what exactly it is that you desire. Because he knows and he wants to give it to you trust me.
 
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Sketcher

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Does anyone else find it hard to find another True Christian to date?

It just seems like having standards and morality in today's dating World, limits
a persons options even more. Don't get me wrong, I won't settle, but it does get lonely
sometimes.
There are true Christian women who are single whom I know personally. However, there is more than just that which is needed for a good relationship to be formed and maintained.

I'm 33. If I don't find a woman to court/date, and then marry within the next couple of years, I'm going to just give up on trying to have any biological children. I really want them. So for now, that's still a requirement, but that hope is quickly fading.
It's possible for most men to have children after they are 35. The problem is that when the kids get older, you're that much older than they are, and you might not be up to going with them on certain trips (i.e. amusement parks, rock climbing, backpacking in the mountains, etc).
 
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ImAllLikeOkWaitWat

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There are true Christian women who are single whom I know personally. However, there is more than just that which is needed for a good relationship to be formed and maintained.

Well i'd say technically if they were true in the strictest definition of true then that would be all thats required for a good relationship.
 
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Sketcher

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Well i'd say technically if they were true in the strictest definition of true then that would be all thats required for a good relationship.
Since sanctification is a process, I'm going to disagree with that entirely.
 
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ImAllLikeOkWaitWat

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Since sanctification is a process, I'm going to disagree with that entirely.

Well you would be disagreeing with the idea that perfection like christ isn't enough. I doubt you want to do that.
 
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Sketcher

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Well you would be disagreeing with the idea that perfection like christ isn't enough. I doubt you want to do that.
No, I'm disagreeing with the contention that she would actually have that perfection like Christ in her day-to-day life. The Apostles wrote letters to churches full of Christians who all had the imputed righteousness of Christ, but they still were far from perfect in the practice of their day-to-day lives.
 
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ThisIsMe123

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Does anyone else find it hard to find another True Christian to date?

It just seems like having standards and morality in today's dating World, limits
a persons options even more. Don't get me wrong, I won't settle, but it does get lonely
sometimes.

My difficulties in dating as a Christian...at least in my area...are finding women that have hang ups on seeing a movie with some profanity in it, kissing before marriage (I recall that thread here), and won't date a guy that even drinks...on occasion.

I have a good female friend that her and I are big movie buffs. I was interested in dating her, but she had these hang ups about certain movies if they profanity or even slight sexual content in them, she would not see them.

We saw a comic book movie together, and before that a trailer ran and it was the new TErminator movie. She got so excited about it I thought it would be or next flick together. When the movie came out, I immediately called her up to see it with me.

She refused as she noticed when I showed her additional footage, it had Sarah Connor saying some curse words. lol Apparently, she wasn't good with that.

I said, "Hm, okay...how would you feel about dating a guy that would go out with his male friend to see that movie" or hypothetically, would she be okay with her husband to do that? She said, "No way!"

I figured some couples, if they had differing interests on things...they'd feel free to have them do their own thing. Live and let live. That would be a deal breaker for me, and for her obviously. Otherwise she was a great friend...but I was kind of starting to like her as more of a friend...but..I'd be miserable in a marriage like that. You see, I don't pay mind to profanity, I just enjoy the story. It's just white noise..to me.

So I need to find a future wife that doesn't have these hang-ups...there are religions that are kind of aligned with my kind of lifestyle where having a beer is no big deal....or they follow the "things in moderation" rule.

Where I live, in the south...that's hard to find. A lot of fundamental Christians here. But we do get transient types of varying faiths or those that don't ascribe to an almost priest-like lifestyle as I mentioned in the aforementioned.

I knew a Christian woman that went out to eat with a Christian Meetup...but she was afraid to order a Margarita when all of them were ordering sodas, teas, and waters. She didn't want to be judged.
 
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HisGraceAbounds

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If I were to get off the bench in my mid forties and try dating again, I can only imagine the difficulties I would have. I never tried dating Christian women. I'm not 'christian enough' for most Christians. I'm not 'man enough' for most women to even bother looking in my direction. The ones that would are the ones so desperate that they are just seeing me as an option until something better comes along.

I think (and this is my opinion), that everyone is way too judgmental about way too much. This tends to offend people who don't like that label, but yes, you too. Me too. Especially me, but you too. I've found a great many Christians to be the most judgmental people I've ever encountered. Enough so that even if I were to consider dating at some point in the future, Christian women would be way down on my list of possibilities to find a mate.
 
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ThisIsMe123

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If I were to get off the bench in my mid forties and try dating again, I can only imagine the difficulties I would have. I never tried dating Christian women. I'm not 'christian enough' for most Christians. I'm not 'man enough' for most women to even bother looking in my direction. The ones that would are the ones so desperate that they are just seeing me as an option until something better comes along.

I think (and this is my opinion), that everyone is way too judgmental about way too much. This tends to offend people who don't like that label, but yes, you too. Me too. Especially me, but you too. I've found a great many Christians to be the most judgmental people I've ever encountered. Enough so that even if I were to consider dating at some point in the future, Christian women would be way down on my list of possibilities to find a mate.


Yeah, it's like, "I am looking for a leader of the house hold, to follow in the same footsteps in Christ as I am...oh, and he must be 6 feet tall!"

I recall seeing a woman on a dating site actually call herself Christian, and in one of her profiles she has, "What do you call a man that's under 6 feet tall? Friend zoned!"

I sent her a message saying out un-Christ-like that was to have in her profile. Taking stab at short guys like that. She said, "Well, it's the truth!"
 
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ThisIsMe123

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Enough so that even if I were to consider dating at some point in the future, Christian women would be way down on my list of possibilities to find a mate.

I have reached that point probably by my 30s. When people date, even Christians, they are more interested in personality and how they are treated. Belief systems are like, "Yeah, I'd be nice if he's Christian" but they don't make a big thing out of it.

I know quite a few Christian women that dated and married men that barely set foot in a church in years. Of course, he'll attend with her on the holidays...but..honestly, it's no big deal to said Christian woman.

With pastors cheating on their wives, it's no wonder how Christianity is way down that list of what's important to someone in a mate.
 
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Simon/Rock

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There are true Christian women who are single whom I know personally. However, there is more than just that which is needed for a good relationship to be formed and maintained.


It's possible for most men to have children after they are 35. The problem is that when the kids get older, you're that much older than they are, and you might not be up to going with them on certain trips (i.e. amusement parks, rock climbing, backpacking in the mountains, etc).

I want to be the kind of Dad that can keep up with his kids for several years, and do all of that fun stuff with them.

Other people that have said I should pray about it are right though.
That's what I should have done from the get go.

Sometimes my stubbornness and ignorance of taking things into my own hands in life can get in the way. It's good to be around fellow Christians, that can remind a person to stay humble, and to give things up to the almighty.

I try my hardest to stay humble, but definitely fall short at times.
 
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HisGraceAbounds

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I have reached that point probably by my 30s. When people date, even Christians, they are more interested in personality and how they are treated. Belief systems are like, "Yeah, I'd be nice if he's Christian" but they don't make a big thing out of it.

I know quite a few Christian women that dated and married men that barely set foot in a church in years. Of course, he'll attend with her on the holidays...but..honestly, it's no big deal to said Christian woman.

With pastors cheating on their wives, it's no wonder how Christianity is way down that list of what's important to someone in a mate.

It's sad that the divorce rates among Christians are at the same levels as those for secular people, and I think it shows that there has been a fundamental shift in values over the last couple of generations. Relationships today are disposable for a LOT of people. Unhappy, don't try to work it out - just get a new partner, problem solved! Ungratified? Have some sex on the side - everybody does it and it's no big deal!

I know a whole lot of people who to this day operate on the 'sow your wild oats on Saturday night, then go to church on Sunday morning praying for a crop failure'
 
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