I am going to be getting a divorce soon, and hope to avoid it being messy. I've read some post where people have spent enoromous amounts of money (many thousands) in lawyers fees. Just wondering are you all independently wealthy? Where do you obtain all this money from. I'm just wondering how I'm going to afford it if it does get messy. Thanks for any advice and please pray for me. I'm in severe turmoil over this.-
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How do you do it?
- Thread starter mggs
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I am going to be getting a divorce soon, and hope to avoid it being messy. I've read some post where people have spent enoromous amounts of money (many thousands) in lawyers fees. Just wondering are you all independently wealthy? Where do you obtain all this money from. I'm just wondering how I'm going to afford it if it does get messy. Thanks for any advice and please pray for me. I'm in severe turmoil over this.ido
Adios
A couple of things first, mggs, before I respond.
1. I will be in prayer for you b/c divorce is not an easy thing.
2. No matter how difficult the path ahead of you becomes remember that all you have to do is lean on your faith to get you through. Jeremiah 29:11 is an awesome verse to help you keep hope during this time. It literally became my mantra while I was going through my divorce last year.
The legal fees can be daunting - I know I could not have afforded them without financial assistance from my family. However, you can do a lot of it through the self-help division of your local courthouse. You might want to do some research to educate yourself on your county/state's family laws, as well. Knowing your rights can go a long way at a time like this.
I would also recommend finding a Christian self-help book on divorce. I read one during my divorce titled "The Christian Family's Guide to Surviving Divorce." It really helped me during the times that my ex was not so cooperative.
And, in my personal, very humble opinion - keep it clean and "fight" fairly. I made sure to prayerfully make every decision with my children's best interest at heart. When things would get ugly, I would retreat and let my attorney handle all matters directly. It was difficult to avoid my ex when we were exchanging the kids, but I made sure it was done in a public place to minimize the chances of conflict.
I hope some of this helps.
1. I will be in prayer for you b/c divorce is not an easy thing.
2. No matter how difficult the path ahead of you becomes remember that all you have to do is lean on your faith to get you through. Jeremiah 29:11 is an awesome verse to help you keep hope during this time. It literally became my mantra while I was going through my divorce last year.
The legal fees can be daunting - I know I could not have afforded them without financial assistance from my family. However, you can do a lot of it through the self-help division of your local courthouse. You might want to do some research to educate yourself on your county/state's family laws, as well. Knowing your rights can go a long way at a time like this.
I would also recommend finding a Christian self-help book on divorce. I read one during my divorce titled "The Christian Family's Guide to Surviving Divorce." It really helped me during the times that my ex was not so cooperative.
And, in my personal, very humble opinion - keep it clean and "fight" fairly. I made sure to prayerfully make every decision with my children's best interest at heart. When things would get ugly, I would retreat and let my attorney handle all matters directly. It was difficult to avoid my ex when we were exchanging the kids, but I made sure it was done in a public place to minimize the chances of conflict.
I hope some of this helps.
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Some great advice here. Well said.
I agree that it is important to 'play fair' so to speak. That does not mean rolling over and allowing whatever he wants but it does mean seeking God to keep your heart right. I think it also means ensuring you get what you need to look after your children.
As for the money, I used a lawyer to draw up our documents and work out what was fair and reasonable to ask but my ex and I kept our costs down by negotiating together and keeping it out of the courts. That's a great way to do it if your husband is reasonable in his dealings.
Otherwise seek out all the free or low cost selfhelp kind of services around.
Praying for you in what I know are very difficult times. Jer 29:11 was the scripture God highlighted to me as well and he has proven to me that he is faithful to care for me and my children. I hope that encourages you
Bless you heaps
Hope
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FLANDIDLYANDERS
When I am slain may my corpse lie facing the Enemy
It only cost me £340 to divorce my wife. Didn't sem to exhorbant to me.
Paying off her debts tho...
Paying off her debts tho...
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tryingtobeagain
Guest
Hy stbx left me with alot of debt. I'm trying hard to be able to pay it off and pay for the divorce. He won't pay for anything. I'm planning on moving home to pay off some debt too.
I pray you find a way through this. I've seen many people just stay separated because they can't afford the divorce.
I pray you find a way through this. I've seen many people just stay separated because they can't afford the divorce.
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If she has a lawyer you better get a better one or you're probably going to get reamed.
If she is willing to settle with you without a lawyer you better have a good lawyer look at the paperwork before you sign anything.
Getting divorced is one of the most cut throat deals anyone ever has to make. That is why so many people hire (you name the slur) lawyers to help them strike a hard bargain.
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tryingtobeagain
Guest
If you can reach an agreement then it's best for both of you. Sometimes divorce is nasty but if you both can maintain a level of maturity then you can work it out without lawyers. Remember that some lawyers are in it for the profit they'll make off your case. It's a great incentive for making you angry about your stbx. If you have a trusted mutual friend or church member then it may be worth it to sit down with them.
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mggs - You don't say where you're from. In the US States have different laws and some States have different assistance programs.
flnativegrl and hope4today give some real good advice! (not that the rest of you didn't LOL!)
I am currently going thru a separation after many years of marriage! Moved out. Living on my own. Going thru counseling for myself. Have a lot of questions, anger and mistrust!
I've asked many people about the cost of divorce and it ranges from a few hundred dollars to thousands. It will depend on how ugly the other person makes it and/or if there are arguments on who gets what.
I will pray for you what I pray for myself - Peace, guidance and wisdom from ON HIGH!
flnativegrl and hope4today give some real good advice! (not that the rest of you didn't LOL!)
I am currently going thru a separation after many years of marriage! Moved out. Living on my own. Going thru counseling for myself. Have a lot of questions, anger and mistrust!
I've asked many people about the cost of divorce and it ranges from a few hundred dollars to thousands. It will depend on how ugly the other person makes it and/or if there are arguments on who gets what.
I will pray for you what I pray for myself - Peace, guidance and wisdom from ON HIGH!
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