how do u get over the bitterness

[~Lynz~]

when u find out ur whole marrage was a waste of time how do u get over feeling so bitter?
not get over ur ex cause i know im better off with out his behvour but how to i get rid of the bitterness so i can be close to God

 

[DZoolander]

You realize that it was your free choice to marry that person in the first place.

 

[ido]

Bitterness can happen when you get stuck in the grief process. Even if you [know you] are better off without your ex, it's still a loss to have a marriage fall apart. Learn the stages of grief and figure out where you might have gotten stuck along the way. There is no set length of time for working through the stages, but chances are good that you need to find a way to move on to the next stage if you're feeling bitter.

Above all else, pray. Ask God to remove the bitterness and replace it with hope.

for you.

 

[JohnDB]

Great question!!!!

I can't stress how good of one that one is.

The bible refers to bitterness as bitter roots...and indeed it is like kudzu. (ever seen it? it is something that can cover an area.)

But it does destroy it's container....every single time.

Forgiveness is the herbicide of bitterness. Every time you come accross that anger and resentment use some more...it is gonna come out and up a lot over the next few years. Keep using forgiveness on it for him as well as yourself. (yourself being the most difficult one to forgive of all)

Don't expect to win this struggle in one day, one week, or even one year. Some things take a long long time to get past. This is one of them. Keep after it...keep trying...real efforts are gonna be needed here...not wimpy ones either.

some of the ones above me are still working on theirs as I am still working on mine. Everyone doesn't have the same capability or capacity. It is difficult to forgive while they are still twisting the knife in your back...so allow some more time before you start to tackle the most important forgiveness task you will undertake.

 

[Demi4God]

It may be never for alot of us and it may be when you find someone so worthwhile you give in to forgiveness. That's where I find myself since the last time I visited this divorice area. My ex husband has problems with everyone. So,you see i have been granted peace and the ability to break away from him.

 

[ddisciple]

when i find myself really struggling to forgive and remove bitterness, i try to remember what Jesus said while hanging on the cross. (luke 23:34) Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.
so Jesus forgave the people for doing what they did to him whilst he was still in pain and suffering.

Another thing which helps me is remembering the person before they turned nasty. remember that the real person in in there somewhere and is just being smothered by satan and all his tricks to break down us christians. Try to think of that person as suffering inside without being able to get out, you know the real person is in there somewhere, but god is the only one who can help.

And last but not least, i think about how god sent his only son to dye on the cross for the sins i have comitted. God would have been sad to see his only son being treated so badly. in a sense, not one of us is good enough to enter the kingdom of heaven, only the fact jesus dies for our sins.
So for the sins you and i have comitted we caused gods only son to be hung on that cross. how worthy are we? but then again what a loving god to be so merciful to us all.