I have been struggling with this very strong feeling of dislike. There is this guy in one of my classes and he is very nice, just very obnoxious. He has very good intentions and honestly, I have no reason to dislike him so much. His personality just rubs me the wrong way. I have been trying so hard to give him a chance especially since we were assigned partners for a project(oh goodness). It's just so hard sometimes. I try to look at his good qualities, but they just don't outshine the annoying. What do I do? I feel like so helpless to my hatred....
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How do I stop hating?
- Thread starter gizzergaz
- Start date
wonderwaleye
Well-Known Member
Dear Gizzergaz
Remember that if you don't overcome this one how are you going to overcome the next???
Do this and it will work out fine:
Every time you look or deal with him you look at him as that is YOU!!! ( you do realize there will be someone that feels the same towards you )
Then treat him EXACTLY how you would like to be treated.
Ask GOD to help you then Test your STRENGTH.
WHILE DOING THIS REMEMBER:
X Even though you can't see him, GOD is there!!! O
( click on the x and drag to the O ) ( then see who is with you ) steven
Remember that if you don't overcome this one how are you going to overcome the next???
Do this and it will work out fine:
Every time you look or deal with him you look at him as that is YOU!!! ( you do realize there will be someone that feels the same towards you )
Then treat him EXACTLY how you would like to be treated.
Ask GOD to help you then Test your STRENGTH.
WHILE DOING THIS REMEMBER:
X Even though you can't see him, GOD is there!!! O
( click on the x and drag to the O ) ( then see who is with you ) steven
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RED that's ME
*~*God *IS* Love*~*
I've had people like that too. It's easy just to avoid them sometimes but that's not always easy or the answer. Maybe he doesn't realize how he's coming across. First pray about it asking God to give you agape love for him as God has for us. Try to find things you can compliment him on the good things. 
Maybe look for opportunities to talk with him and talk with him about the things he does that rubs you wrong. If he doesn't know how he's coming across to people he can't work on changing. God places people in our lives for different reasons. Christians especially can encourage others when they do good and also encouragement them in making changes for the better.
Maybe look for opportunities to talk with him and talk with him about the things he does that rubs you wrong. If he doesn't know how he's coming across to people he can't work on changing. God places people in our lives for different reasons. Christians especially can encourage others when they do good and also encouragement them in making changes for the better.
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PERHAPS.... And I say Perhaps, you see that SAME QUAILTY in yourself, and won't admit it?
I can say this is TRUE in my own life, about My Past Actions and Attitudes!
Keep your Friends = close, BUT keey your Enemies EVEN CLOSER!
Your Key is 1Corinthians 15:31
Thanks, Roger459
I can say this is TRUE in my own life, about My Past Actions and Attitudes!
Keep your Friends = close, BUT keey your Enemies EVEN CLOSER!
Your Key is 1Corinthians 15:31
Thanks, Roger459
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E
ElijahFalling
Guest
First, being annoyed isn't necessarily hatred. Hatred is wanting bad for somebody. Do you wish him ill? I doubt it.
Second, there could be a good reason why he is the way he is. Maybe he was tortured as a child. Maybe he has a disease. You never know. Just think about the person he is on the inside.
Third, maybe you could point out his annoying habbits in a nice way. He may not realize them, and maybe he will even be thankful.
Think about it all.
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One thing that helps me is to ask God to help me see things through their eyes. To help me see how they are being effected by the thing that I am haveing problems with.
In this, I am able to focus more on the problems caused to them and less on the ones to me.
In this, I am able to focus more on the problems caused to them and less on the ones to me.
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radhead
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Prayer is the best thing.
It's important to get the message across that he is obnoxious, if you truly want to help him. I would recommend a polite and tactful approach.
A well-done gesture/expression is good. Not one of disapproval, but more like saying that you wish he knew better.
You could also say something. Be polite but firm. If it doesn't sink in right away, let it go.
It's important to get the message across that he is obnoxious, if you truly want to help him. I would recommend a polite and tactful approach.
A well-done gesture/expression is good. Not one of disapproval, but more like saying that you wish he knew better.
You could also say something. Be polite but firm. If it doesn't sink in right away, let it go.
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dancingwithhim
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I would pray for him. I would ask the Lord to give you His view of this person. Don't think about how you feel about the person, but think about how God feels about him. God will work everything out.
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R
RenaeNicole
Guest
Someone earlier in this thread, already gave you this advice. Pray for them. I was in this situation not too long back and I prayed. Then I talked to the kid and we became quite good friends actually. I actually got to help tutor him.
God can help.
God can help.
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Treasurer
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Issues like these are a mindset change. In this world, we cannot change anyone but ourselves. Although it would be nice, huh. So in reality, although he may have a problem, so do you. But you have recognized it already. So now you must change your views, and your heart.
The Love of God is desiring to be perfected in you, and this is your opportunity to become perfected.
The first thing I would do would be to do what I have just quoted, look at it as an opportunity. Because right now LoL, you dont see it that way. Allow God to mold and shape you in his very presence. And I am sure this person will see this and wonder what is up with that? People always wonder how one can be so joyful in the Lord.
I know he will take notice because annoying people dont just annoy you. And I am sure everyone treats him like an annoying person. But when you treat him differently than everyone else does, he will wonder what just took place, and why. And this will be your opportunity to share the Lord with him. Plant the seeds friend, and the Lord will cause them to grow.
God Bless
The Love of God is desiring to be perfected in you, and this is your opportunity to become perfected.
The first thing I would do would be to do what I have just quoted, look at it as an opportunity. Because right now LoL, you dont see it that way. Allow God to mold and shape you in his very presence. And I am sure this person will see this and wonder what is up with that? People always wonder how one can be so joyful in the Lord.
I know he will take notice because annoying people dont just annoy you. And I am sure everyone treats him like an annoying person. But when you treat him differently than everyone else does, he will wonder what just took place, and why. And this will be your opportunity to share the Lord with him. Plant the seeds friend, and the Lord will cause them to grow.
God Bless
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wiggbuggie
Senior Member
well hate is a strong word do you truly hate him or just find him annoying? all of us have bad qualitied we all could work on and remember the same God that created you created him
-God bless-
-God bless-
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bfly
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Beautiful expressions of the work the Love of God has done in each of your lives. Oh, to have had the wisdom of you at the age you are and yes the "Joy of the Lord is our strength"
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A
AngelDove1
Guest
Lot of good advice from everyone.....
Life is a journey,its a test to improve our charatar.
To draw us nearer to God.
If we keep going round the same mountain,over and over again.
There is something we must learn from it,to get off,and move on,advance.
God puts people in our lives to learn from,
To teach us.
The people in your walk through this journey
are stepping stones.
Ask yourself..
What Would Jesus Do? WWJD?
Jesus word says to "love others,
as He has loved us".
Dosen't mean you have to like them,just treat them right.
"This is a test"
Life is a journey,its a test to improve our charatar.
To draw us nearer to God.
If we keep going round the same mountain,over and over again.
There is something we must learn from it,to get off,and move on,advance.
God puts people in our lives to learn from,
To teach us.
The people in your walk through this journey
are stepping stones.
Ask yourself..
What Would Jesus Do? WWJD?
Jesus word says to "love others,
as He has loved us".
Dosen't mean you have to like them,just treat them right.
"This is a test"
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anonymousAdviser
Regular Member
Do you really want to stop hating this person? If you do then your solution is quite simple.
Nobody hates a person just because they are a person. Even murderous haters see something in a person and hate them for it.
You have observed things about this person which you hate. You hate that person for these things. What is it? Maybe the way he looks at you? Maybe the way he dresses? Maybe something he says or things he says?
Once you figure out what it is about the guy you hate, then you look at why you hate these things he does.
This means you actually bother to give the matter thought.
This is where the problem is. You are not giving the matter of your judgements any thought. Christians will "judge the world, even the angels". So, you had best start giving the matter of judgement far more serious thought then you are currently doing.
Understand... when you hate someone, you are hating them because of some things they do. You are making judgement calls. It is okay to make judgement calls. The questions remain: are your accusations fair and honest and does the person deserve this judgement?
There is a singular difference between the hate of the wicked and the hate of the righteous... and that is that the hate of the righteous is based on true evidence. The hate of the wicked is based on false accusations, slander, like their father, "the Slanderer" -- which is what "Satan" really means. (Now what each does with their hate is a different matter entirely.)
So, make every effort that when you do judge, you judge righteously. You should not consider such business beyond your responsibility. Indeed, it is the responsibility of everyone... wicked and righteous alike... to judge fairly and not to hate without cause.
If it was not the wicked's responsibility to judge fairly, then how could they be faulted for it? But, they are guilty.
All of this means you need to get in touch with your feelings and your thoughts.
Nobody hates a person just because they are a person. Even murderous haters see something in a person and hate them for it.
You have observed things about this person which you hate. You hate that person for these things. What is it? Maybe the way he looks at you? Maybe the way he dresses? Maybe something he says or things he says?
Once you figure out what it is about the guy you hate, then you look at why you hate these things he does.
This means you actually bother to give the matter thought.
This is where the problem is. You are not giving the matter of your judgements any thought. Christians will "judge the world, even the angels". So, you had best start giving the matter of judgement far more serious thought then you are currently doing.
Understand... when you hate someone, you are hating them because of some things they do. You are making judgement calls. It is okay to make judgement calls. The questions remain: are your accusations fair and honest and does the person deserve this judgement?
There is a singular difference between the hate of the wicked and the hate of the righteous... and that is that the hate of the righteous is based on true evidence. The hate of the wicked is based on false accusations, slander, like their father, "the Slanderer" -- which is what "Satan" really means. (Now what each does with their hate is a different matter entirely.)
So, make every effort that when you do judge, you judge righteously. You should not consider such business beyond your responsibility. Indeed, it is the responsibility of everyone... wicked and righteous alike... to judge fairly and not to hate without cause.
If it was not the wicked's responsibility to judge fairly, then how could they be faulted for it? But, they are guilty.
All of this means you need to get in touch with your feelings and your thoughts.
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~InHisHands~
At the feet of Jesus
If this person has a disorder or disease and can't help the way they are, then you'll only succeed in hurting their feelings very badly. Perhaps just pray for him and just be nice to him. Regardless. A little nice goes a long long way.
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