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how do i stop being bisexual?

Discussion in 'Struggles with Sexuality' started by memoryroad, Jul 16, 2005.

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  1. memoryroad

    memoryroad Guest

    i know it's a sin in the eyes of God to be bisexual. My question is, how do I stop? I lust for girls or crush on them sometimes even against my will. It's so natural to me, it's just like liking a guy. :(
  2. jenniferstell

    jenniferstell Regular Member

    I'm working on trying to stop liking girls. It's not easy. I just dont let myself think about girls that way. I try to imagine every girl is my sister.
  3. KTskater

    KTskater Well-Known Member

    Feed what you want and starve what you don't. Just don't let you mind wonder be in control at all times. When you start too lust recite scripture, or pray or some other way of taking your focus off the person.

    Be totally submerged in the spirit all day, everyday. I find it's the only way.
    Also like the person above me, think about every girl as your sister. It really does help.
  4. Da_Funkey_Gibbon

    Da_Funkey_Gibbon I'm just like the others...

    I have the same thing... cept with guys. :( . Lust is something everyone struggles with, just keep busy is the best advice, when the feeling takes you, do something proactive.

    Memoryroad, I would not say you are "Bisexual" because you do not embrace that part of you. Don't say you are Bisexual. Posative thinking ;) .

    People should imagine all other people (unless they are their spouse) as their brother/sister IMO.
  5. Da_Funkey_Gibbon

    Da_Funkey_Gibbon I'm just like the others...

    It is not a sin to be bisexual. It is a sin to lust. I too have a tendency to lust after both men and women, however, I would not describe myself as bisexual, as it is not a part of me that I choose to embrace.

    Lust is an issue for everybody, best advice is to just keep busy, when to feeling takes you, do something proactive.

    I think it says in pauls letters somewhere that unmarried persons should consider all other people their brother/sister.
  6. MusicMan88

    MusicMan88 New Member

    You are correct. Acting upon your thoughts is a sin. Stop the thoughts that come into your head. Ask yourself: "What makes me have those thoughts?" When you find the answer, stop doing what makes you have those thoughts.
    Also how do you fight those temptations when they come? SCRIPTURE AND PRAYER. Jesus said he would never leave you nor forsake you. Psalm 120:1 says: "I cried to the Lord in my distress and he hears me." Call on him when you are troubled but not only then. Continue to talk to Him EVERYDAY. Ask him to give you the strength to fight it EVERYDAY.

    Hope This Helps!
  7. Robbie_James_Francis

    Robbie_James_Francis May all beings have happiness and its causes


    It is not a sin to be bisexual.

    You can't stop being bisexual and you don't need to.

    You cannot help these thoughts. All you can do is try to offer up your suffering to God and ask Him for the Grace to deal with these in a good and healthy way. NOT that He makes you heterosexual. Nor that He gets rid of these thoughts straight away. Simply that He can give you the strength to deal with them. By deal with them I don't mean hating yourself or supressing your sexuality. I mean living through these things and allowing God to bring something good out of these feelings. He can do that.

    Let God's will be done. This Cross that you must bear, this thorn in your flesh, can give Him Glory. By His Grace He can help you cope healthily with it. But you will fall, as we all do, and He will forgive you. Do not be so busy trying to fix things yourself that God cannot get to work with His Grace.

    God bless you!
  8. Marie D

    Marie D Well-Known Member

    IMHO there's nothing inherently wrong with being tempted sexually towards people of your own gender. Satan sends evil thoughts to tempt men and women alike, and those thoughts can be about males or females - it's a real mix.
    A person only becomes a homosexual or lesbian when they act on these temptations, which is made worse when they don't repent.
    As long as you steer clear of masturbation based on these perverted thoughts and sexual contacts with other girls, and you fight the thoughts with all your mind, you won't be bisexual - just a normal, Godly girl who is being tested by Satan and is winning.
    And how can you fight those thoughts? By praying and asking for God to lend you his strength, of course!
  9. thom_odell

    thom_odell New Member

    Why fight what you were made to be?
  10. Johnnz

    Johnnz Senior Veteran Supporter

    I have not had a lot of experience with bisexual people, but I have had some communication. Here are some early thoughts as I try to get my head around the issues.

    • Some people have a very high sex drive. Anything sexual can arouse them very easily, male or female.

    • As hormones kick in during the teenage years many people become very aware sexually. There are new feelings and thoughts, which may take a few years to fully integrate into a stable framework. Some wrong turns are possible.

    • Hormones produce a natural awareness of and curiosity about sex. Some young people get involved in same sex activities – skinny dipping, strip games, or getting undressed. Some more intimate behaviour may take place as a result, but this does not indicate homosexuality, just sexually driven curiosity.

    • A female who masturbates is aware of how to obtain sexual satisfaction. Many guys are a bit ignorant of how female sexuality works, so a female may accept another woman to provide sex with a different satisfaction from that with a guy.

    • The female body has been highly eroticised in today’s society. I suspect that some women are affected by this too, not just the guys. There is also the desire to be attractive, and some same sex comparisons may be made to assess one’s ‘attributes’ and ‘sexiness’. This may initiate some same sex activity amongst females.

    Do these comments make sense to anyone?


  11. PetraFan007

    PetraFan007 I try as hard as I can.

    United States
    wow modernistic bs being spread in this thread. HOMOSEXUALITY IS A SIN no matter HOW YOU SLICE IT. Just don't ACT upon it and you're set (I agree with that).
  12. Cristiano

    Cristiano Regular Member

    Remember we were born into sin.... How can you say that you were "made to be that way" if the acts are condemned in God's word? That's like saying, I was made to have sex, so I will do it with whomever I please. Yeah, we have the equipment, but it's God's plan to have that between a man and his wife, because they become one flesh in marriage. God's design was for man to be with a woman from the beginning. That's not the best news for those of us who have this struggle, but we all have our cross to carry daily. I am attracted to other men, but I would never act on that because Scripture points in the direction that it is clearly wrong. I cannot embrace something that the Bible considers "an abomination".
  13. Johnnz

    Johnnz Senior Veteran Supporter

    You have to read between the lines more closely than I did when I made that post. I was not condoning same sex attraction, just pointing out that there are reasons why some people may experiment at some stage in their lives. Understanding this can dig someone out of the belief that they are genuinely and perhaps unchangeably homosexual.

  14. he_is_risen!!

    he_is_risen!! All ways in need of help

    Here's my view. All humans are born into sin. Humans are flaud and naturally sinnful. Now what differs is what temptations work on people. Some have a massive time fighting the temptation lie while someone else finds it easy to tell the truth. But that same person could have an extremely hard time with homo/bisexual temptations while the first person doesn't.

    My point is that yes we are born into sin, but we, as Christians, must fight against sin no matter the form. I have homosexual thoughts sometimes, I'm tempted w/ gay images and thoughts everyday. But because of my faith I fight back. Yes I have those thoughts but I know that this is my Aciles Heel. I am weak in that sence. For me it is a sort of internal battle between human lust and my Faith and what Christ teaches but that is just one tool that the devil uses to attack us. He tempts us in areas that we feel strongly against and then he causes doubt. Then we're no threat to him. We have to remember that sin and temptstion, no matter the form, are tools of satan. Used to keep us from reaching out to those who don't know CHrist. We need to see that and realize that we only have to fight this temptation for a short time and then we go to Heaven, where we'll never be tempted.

    I'm not saying that fighting back is easy. It's not and the devil attacks you daily trying to make you stumble. But we must press on threw it and remain focused on our mandate to show Christ to others. Every time the devil attacks you recite Bible verses, pray, do anything to distract yourself so that the thoughts can't manifest themselves. And with every victory over satan you will grow closer to Christ. I know that from experiance and when that happens you feel free cause you know that you can defeat it through Christ.

    Psalm 55:22 (The Message)
    22Pile your troubles on GOD's shoulders--
    he'll carry your load, he'll help you out.
    He'll never let good people
    topple into ruin.

    Psalm 55:22 (New International Version)
    22 Cast your cares on the LORD
    and he will sustain you;
    he will never let the righteous fall
  15. Equineartchick

    Equineartchick Guest

    I agree. I don't know much about homosexuality or bisexuality, but I remember going through puberty and how high sex drive can be. I think this is more the struggle, just learning to cope with your sexuality and learning to keep it pure along the way. Not an easy thing to do obviously, but everyone has to do it, it's a part of growing up.

    Besides, attraction has many levels. Maybe you are simply looking at these girls and thinking they are really pretty, maybe prettier than you, and you wish you were as pretty or outgoing and fun, etc. This type of "admiration" I guess you'd call it is not a sin really. It may have a basis in jealousy or perhaps lack of self confidence. You simply have to tell yourself that YOU are pretty and fun as well. Heck, whenever you think of girls in this way, change your focus to yourself. Build yourself up, tell yourself you are just as good as she is. Perhaps those thoughts will go away if you simply change your focus.
  16. SarahAblaze06

    SarahAblaze06 Guest

    You have to realize these thoughts are not your own. I mean, they come into your head but waht you choose to do with them then is exactly that, a choice. Indignance is HUGE. You've got to sometimes get violent with them- anything that tries to exalt istelf against the purposes of God in your life must break down. His words are truth! They are life! Don't spend too long trying to figure out why the thoughts are there, it's ok for a little while, but don't over analyze- cast them down and get your thoughts thinking of God. You'll find that your perspective changes about so many things so quickly it's absolutely beautiful. pure
  17. Mr.Cheese

    Mr.Cheese Legend

    You know, maybe the girl who posted in here already figured that out without you coming in here and ramming it down her throat. So work on telling her something she doesn't already know.

    All nz was doing is giving possibilities as to why she has the feelings she does. Understanding oneself is the first step to mastering oneself.
    So, contrary to you, he was offering something useful that may help the girl overcome the struggle.
  18. he_is_risen!!

    he_is_risen!! All ways in need of help

    Hey I just gotta make it clear to everyone here who has never struggled w/ temptations like this before. The thing is, the majority of Christians who struggle w/ homo/bisexuality know that it is wrong. THats not the debate. And see the reason it's so hard for us to deal w/ is because it is a literal internal battle for us. On the one hand we know what the Bible says and we believe that. But at the same time, our sinful nature is saying to do what feels right and just go out and follow that sin. SO it's very hard at times to do what we know is right when our human nature says otherwise.

    now I can't speak for everyone but this is how I feel and I'm sure that others feel the same. It is a battle between our Christian nature and our human nature and it is really hard to have a battle like that going on. And that internal battle doesn't just apply to homosexual struggle, it is what we all go through when we know that we either are or are very close to sinning, and we have trouble doing what we know is right. Do you understand what I'm saying? But I want everyone here to try and look at everyone who struggle this way. We are saved and are infact Christian, we just have our own personal struggles and problems. Everyone is descibed by that statement, cause no matter who you are, you are weak when it comes to one sin. It's your personal weakness. We just have to understand that everyone has their struggles, but that we must be there and help them through it so that the Body is stronger.
  19. vinc

    vinc Senior Member

    I wholeheartedly agree with Robbie's and Johnnz's reply.

    Most people have bisexual feelings (at some point(s) in life) and may not be bold or honest enough to acknowledge. I myself find some people of the same-sex attractive sometimes, although most of the time i find the opposite-sex strongly attractive. I have even indulged in Homosexuality in my teen years which somehow did not continue in the later years. There is no reference in the Bible wherein Lord Jesus Christ condemns homosexuality although there are references in OT-Leviticus and in Paul's Epistles in the NT. I believe Christ loves us irrespective of our sexual-orientation!

    I would like to pass on some encouraging pages and websites in this regard -

    1) Can You Be Transgendered and Christian? - http://www.whosoever.org/v2Issue2/

    2) Dual Attraction - http://www.whosoever.org/v2Issue2/dual.html

    3) Bisexuality: A unique sexual orientation - http://www.religioustolerance.org/bisexuality.htm

    4) Sunchild's Bisexual Christians page - http://www.geocities.com/WestHollywood/Heights/3358/

    5) An online magazine for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Christians - http://www.whosoever.org/

    6) Gentle Spirit Christian Church Website (A fellowship dedicated to spreading the gospel of Jesus the Christ to all people with a special emphasis on the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community) - http://www.gentlespirit.org/index2.htm

    7) Christian Lesbians Website (Offers information and resources for women presently struggling to reconcile their faith and sexuality. Creates fellowship and support for Christian Lesbians, many of whom feel isolated by living in "the closet" or from having experienced rejection from family, friends and their own church community) - http://www.christianlesbians.com/

    8) Celebration Of Faith Praise And Worship Center web site (Bible centered, Christian church spreading the good news of Jesus Christ to the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered, transexual -- and straight -- communities) - http://www.celebrationoffaith.org/index.cfm

    9) BiNetUSA is an organization that promotes equal rights for bisexuals. It has been active since 1988 - http://www.binetusa.org/

    10) The American Institute of Bisexuality (AIB) hosts Bisexual.org. Their web site hosts web sites of other bisexual groups. They handle "Bi-ographies Personal Ads." - http://www.bisexual.org/

    This is my honest and personal opinion.
  20. Stacey

    Stacey Blessed are the peacemakers

    I don't want to offend people, but i do want to say what I think.

    "as he thinketh within himself, so is he." Proverbs 23:7

    Thinking leads to action. It's one thing to have a thought pass your mind, and continuously thinking about something you know God says is wrong. Everybody thinks about stuff they shouldn't or don't necessarily want to. It's difficult to control your thoughts, but not impossible. Remember, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13!

    "Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God; for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempteth no man, but each man is tempted, when he is drawn away by his own lust, and enticed. Then the lust, when it hath conceived, beareth sin: and the sin, when it is fullgrown, bringeth forth death." James 1:13-15

    I hope this helps,
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