How do I move on?

[MelWright]

Hi
Im having a hard time today. One of those days where you are constantly close to tears. I keep seeing his face everywhere. Its horrible.

Does anyone else have days like that? How do you cope? Just want to go to sleep and not wake up .

mel

 

[MelWright]

Another difficult day . Trying not to cry at work, its hard.

 

[shazabella]

Hi
Im having a hard time today. One of those days where you are constantly close to tears. I keep seeing his face everywhere. Its horrible.

Does anyone else have days like that? How do you cope? Just want to go to sleep and not wake up .

mel

mel

I've been there and its horrible ,praying that it gets better soon

Another difficult day . Trying not to cry at work, its hard.

maybe see if u can cut ur work hours just a little and see a therapist to help you deal with this, you need to be gentle to you.

- Shaz

 

[MelWright]

I cant see it getting better. Feeling really down.

Cant cut down hours at work, signed contract full time so cant. I have a week of next week though, i really need time of desperately.

Thanks for your support.
mel

 

[BelindaP]

I know that right now it seems like it will never get better. You have to try to hang onto the faith that it will get better. I promise it will.

 

[MelWright]

Im trying, I really am.

 

[lavenderskies]

Mel, you can and will heal from this. Remember we serve an amazing powerful mighty God. He can take the bad and turn it into something wonderful. I realize this sounds impossible to you right now, but I have lived it. All things are possible with Jesus.

I also strongly advise you report this. I would go to the police with the whole story.

I would find myself a church and get in there. Find a small prayer group. Find a support group for survivors of sexual assaults.

There is a wonderful book called "How Long Does It Hurt" its wonderful for those who have been sexually assaulted.

I have been both a victim and the mother of a victim of sexual assault. I know the pain you feel, the tears you cry, all of it. Sister, please listen. You have power, you have strength in Jesus. He is our strong tower, he is our refuge, our protector. He cries when you cry. Read the Word of God, Pray, and he will reveal many things to you.

My last suggestion is that you look into some form of self defense. Taking a few classes may help you to feel more secure about being out.

I am praying for you!

 

[skunkfeather]

If you ever need to talk, feel free to send me a private message.

 

[MelWright]

Me? Self defense? Im so small im like a twig!! I dont think id be very good at it!! Thank you though, I will try some of your suggestions. Apart from the police though, I would go there, go through the pain of telling them what happened and then they wouldnt be able to do anything. I cant tell them enough for them to do anything.

Thank you too, i may need to talk the way im feeling at the moment. Very very down. Please can someone tell me alcohol is the wrong way to deal with this!!! I need a slap to wake me up to what im doing to myself. Drugs are an absolute no no too. Please someone tell me that I shouldnt because I dont seem to listen to myself. Other people have more of an impact.

thank you all.
mel

 

[BelindaP]

Drugs and alcohol are a definite no-no. Alcohol is actually a depressant. That means that you feel good for a little while, but then you end up more depressed than when you began drinking. A fairly high percentage of suicides are drunk when they do it.

I know the pain is nearly more than you can bear right now. I remember those days myself. Try praying for moments of peace. The pain won't go away permanently, but sometimes God will grant you a short reprieve from the pain.

Talking about how you feel helps a lot, too. Have you considered keeping a journal or a blog?

 

[MelWright]

Im so stupid though, I get drunk and end up in tears which is my own fault. Every single time I drink I end up crying but I cant stop myself.

I really cant bear it, how did you move on? Im scared of every man. How can I make those moments of peace make a diffrence? Im struggling.

 

[BelindaP]

My dear, you are not stupid. You are desperate for the pain to end. Whatever you do, don't drink. It will cause more problems than it solves.

I was very lucky. I met a man who was wonderful. He was the first man who had ever respected me and treated me well. I did a lot of crying on his shoulder, and we worked through my issues together. I owe him my life.

Do you have access to any support groups? I find that talking to others who really understand can really help.

 

[lavenderskies]

Im so stupid though, I get drunk and end up in tears which is my own fault. Every single time I drink I end up crying but I cant stop myself.

I really cant bear it, how did you move on? Im scared of every man. How can I make those moments of peace make a diffrence? Im struggling.

I encourage you to stay away from the alcohol. It clouds the problems and prevents you from working through them. Please seek other help.

 

[HeyJupiter]

Hi hon..you are not stupid or at fault or anything... Im very sorry you went through all this

(((HUGS)))

 

[MelWright]

Thanks. Ive had a good week, better than the last few. Only had a couple of social drinks so was good in that way too. Thumping headache so going to go to bed.

mel

 

[MelWright]

Head feels a lot better now so going to write a better post than last night! I got home from my holiday yesterday. A week away from the pressures of my mum was just what I needed. I had an amazing week with my friends and feeling so much better.

I went to a sex seminar while I was there. They talked about abuse and said that with the right help there IS a way to move on. There is a way to recover and continue with your life. Those words were a great comfort to me. Made me feel that im not going to be stuck in this hole forever. With help im going to climb out and continue to live my life. Im going to get help, I really want to move on as they said I can. It wont be easy, I know but I can see a light at the end of the tunnel.

mel

 

[MelWright]

Maybe im not as ok as i thought i was. I ended up in tears again last night. My friend was hugging me and i was telling him that no ones ever going to love me because im a murderer and damaged goods. I know now that I was talking rubbish and I was just a bit emotional but it shows that ive still got issues just under the surface that ive been ignoring. Councelling is a definate obviously.

mel

 

[MelWright]

Is anyone here?

 

[BelindaP]

Yes, I am. How are you doing?

 

[MelWright]

Im ok, dont worry, I wasnt very good when I last posted but im fine now.