How Do I Move Forward ?

DiscipleOfChrist85

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This has been a very long and tiring year for me. Because of God's infinite love and grace, my life has changed so dramatically that I have been struggling to cope. As a result I fell back into my old habits of intense self loathing whenever I feel stressed and overwhelmed. This of course led to me almost abandoning my faith due to my deep depression.
Fortunately, for me I serve an infinitely loving and patient God who has helped me understand that he is not going to give up on me. That being said I have to ask how do I move forward toward God ?
It's clear by the last thread that I posted that I have a serious need of a relationship with God, but I have no idea how to do that and I need help.
What should I do ?
 

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At the moment I do not and no I can't go to church in person but I attend online.
Those are two points you need to resolve if you want to move forward.
Are you expecting these problems to fix themselves or that someone can talk them away?
 
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DiscipleOfChrist85

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No of course not I can't expect those problems to go away. I'm looking for advice on what I should do going forward.
Having said that, you are right I do need to seek professional help and I need to attend church again.
Thank you.
 
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Newsgurl

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First I’d start out by having a conversation with God and express your concerns to Him. I’d start praying each night that God will guide you closer to Him and trusting in His ways. I’ve been where you have been and it’s not fun being like that. I know you want to know God more and the Bible can show you His miracles He has done to others and He can change your life as well. We’re all different but special to God in our own ways we just have to learn to accept and love ourselves for how God made us. He doesn’t make mistakes on anybody, everybody has a purpose in life, you just got to trust in His ways and follow His path. :amen:
 
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DiscipleOfChrist85

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First I’d start out by having a conversation with God and express your concerns to Him. I’d start praying each night that God will guide you closer to Him and trusting in His ways. I’ve been where you have been and it’s not fun being like that. I know you want to know God more and the Bible can show you His miracles He has done to others and He can change your life as well. We’re all different but special to God in our own ways we just have to learn to accept and love ourselves for how God made us. He doesn’t make mistakes on anybody, everybody has a purpose in life, you just got to trust in His ways and follow His path. :amen:
Thank you and you are correct I find myself feeling like I have no purpose in my life it always feels like I'm a failure and on some level it feels like maybe this is my destiny not because God is punishing me per say but because I always feel like I can never move past my mistakes no matter how much I try.
 
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I feel you I have made a lot of bad mistakes in life some of them I never told anybody and I have it in the back of my mind that God doesn’t love me anymore, but I realized down the years that everybody makes mistakes in life and once you ask for forgiveness to God he forgets every one of your sins. Now our minds don’t work the same as God works we still remember the sins we’ve done and feel guilty. I suffered through depression since I was 10 but now I realize God doesn’t want me to be that way. He wants me to be happy and forget my past mistakes because they’re already forgiven. God is the best!
 
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DiscipleOfChrist85

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That he is I wish I could forgave myself like God can. I can, but that road is a long and hard one at lest from were I stand that is. Still I'm ready to make that journey I'm tired of feeling this way and I want to move forward.
 
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Newsgurl

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I feel the same way sometimes I wish our brains wouldn’t remind us of our failures but the many accomplishments we have made in our lives. Satan tends to creep up on you when you’re lonely and sad saying “hey you’re never going to get better because of what you did many years ago.” Then your brain goes back to that mistake and you agree with him. He won, but God doesn’t want satan to win your mind. Whenever I feel down and reminded of my mistakes I turn to the Bible for help and guidance and I listen to God’s word and satan slowly starts creeping back out of my life. I’m not perfect either nobody is but Jesus but don’t let satan win your mind.
 
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DiscipleOfChrist85

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I feel the same way sometimes I wish our brains wouldn’t remind us of our failures but the many accomplishments we have made in our lives. Satan tends to creep up on you when you’re lonely and sad saying “hey you’re never going to get better because of what you did many years ago.” Then your brain goes back to that mistake and you agree with him. He won, but God doesn’t want satan to win your mind. Whenever I feel down and reminded of my mistakes I turn to the Bible for help and guidance and I listen to God’s word and satan slowly starts creeping back out of my life. I’m not perfect either nobody is but Jesus but don’t let satan win your mind.
You make a good point. Often times my mind feels like there is a world war being waged constantly day and night and often times it is a massive drain on my soul and I can't help but think that I lost. Of course I have but God cannot lose and I need to depend on him more and let him fight this battle because the war is already won.
 
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At the moment I do not and no I can't go to church in person but I attend online.
I am hoping for you that both of those problems are temporary.
In the meanwhile, please contact the office of the Church of your choice, and make an appointment to talk to the Priest/ Minister, to see when a good time can be found for them to visit you at your home.
Believe me, if you reach out, they will come to a soul in need!
 
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Spend your time with Christ, looking at him instead of yourself. Learn about him, read large portions of Scripture. Time in prayer telling him your thoughts and desires.

There are no shortcuts. And the growing never ends. Haha, it is a little bit like science —there is never a time when you can say, "Now I understand" because there is always more to learn in any one regard.

But there are things you can know for sure, such as the fact that this life is about Christ, and not about yourself. But, "Him that cometh to me, I will in no wise cast out."
 
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This has been a very long and tiring year for me. Because of God's infinite love and grace, my life has changed so dramatically that I have been struggling to cope. As a result I fell back into my old habits of intense self loathing whenever I feel stressed and overwhelmed. This of course led to me almost abandoning my faith due to my deep depression.
Fortunately, for me I serve an infinitely loving and patient God who has helped me understand that he is not going to give up on me. That being said I have to ask how do I move forward toward God ?
It's clear by the last thread that I posted that I have a serious need of a relationship with God, but I have no idea how to do that and I need help.
What should I do ?

Easy, talk to God.
There is no other way.
 
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Maria Billingsley

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This has been a very long and tiring year for me. Because of God's infinite love and grace, my life has changed so dramatically that I have been struggling to cope. As a result I fell back into my old habits of intense self loathing whenever I feel stressed and overwhelmed. This of course led to me almost abandoning my faith due to my deep depression.
Fortunately, for me I serve an infinitely loving and patient God who has helped me understand that he is not going to give up on me. That being said I have to ask how do I move forward toward God ?
It's clear by the last thread that I posted that I have a serious need of a relationship with God, but I have no idea how to do that and I need help.
What should I do ?
Your first step is to recieve His Holy Spirit, His Comforter. Pray for His indwelling so He can make His Home in you. Blessings.
 
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aiki

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This has been a very long and tiring year for me. Because of God's infinite love and grace, my life has changed so dramatically that I have been struggling to cope. As a result I fell back into my old habits of intense self loathing whenever I feel stressed and overwhelmed. This of course led to me almost abandoning my faith due to my deep depression.

Self-loathing? This may sound...strange but the reality is that such loathing is actually an expression of Self. Who in you loathes you? Not God. Who, then? Well, you, right? You loathe yourself. Why? To what end? What purpose does loathing yourself serve? It sure doesn't serve God - especially if you're His child. Such loathing is a reflection of dissatisfaction with who you are but this dissatisfaction is the result of caring - and caring a great deal - about who you are. In fact, the more loathing you have for yourself, the more you reveal how much you care about yourself; for if you cared nothing for yourself, you would feel no loathing at all.

And so, strangely, these self-hating feelings and thoughts we have are actually a perverse form of pride. We wish we were better, superior to our present selves, and so great is the desire to be more than we are, better, superior, that it drives us to frustrated self-hatred. But this is how prideful, selfish Self works. Selfish pride does not allow for peaceful contentment, for comfortable satisfaction with oneself, but caught up always in comparisons with others, Self drives us to feel deep unhappiness with our looks, or intellectual capacities, or skills, which we realize will never equal or exceed such things in others whom we admire.

God, on the other hand, will bring you to contentment with who He made you to be, to a place of peaceful acceptance of yourself as His child, short or tall, fat or skinny, smart or dull, made not for time, but for eternity.

Fortunately, for me I serve an infinitely loving and patient God who has helped me understand that he is not going to give up on me. That being said I have to ask how do I move forward toward God ?
It's clear by the last thread that I posted that I have a serious need of a relationship with God, but I have no idea how to do that and I need help.
What should I do ?

How does any relationship work? What things are essential to healthy relationships? Time, communication, effort.

If I want to be friends with someone but never spend any time with them, can we truly be friends? No.

If I want to be friends with someone but never speak with them, can we truly be friends? No.

If I want to be friends with someone but can't be bothered to make an effort to get to know them, can we truly be friends? No.

God's unique as a Person, though. He's not like everybody else. And the differences make a big difference. In relating with God, He directs our approach to Him and what the nature of our relationship to Him will be. We don't relate with God as an equal, only as servant to Master, creature to Creator, child to Father. We can't just walk up to God, punch Him in the shoulder, and say, "Hey. Howzit?" No, we come to God as needy sinners, weak, wayward and dependent. In the most literal of senses, He is our Life, our Maker and Sustainer, and so we approach Him in humility, sincerity and truth, submitted to His will and way rather than our own, seeking to glorify and serve Him with our lives, as He made us to do.

How do I spend time with God? Bible study. Prayer. Worship. Service.
How do I communicate with God? Bible study. Prayer. Worship. Service.
How do I make an effort to develop my relationship with God? Bible study. Prayer. Worship. Service.

All of this, though, gets pretty dreary and burdensome really quickly when done from the wrong motive, and for the wrong reasons, and under the wrong dynamic. The only right motive is love; the only right reason is to glorify God; the only right dynamic is as a receiver of God's love, truth and power at work in your life.
 
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IntriKate

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This has been a very long and tiring year for me. Because of God's infinite love and grace, my life has changed so dramatically that I have been struggling to cope. As a result I fell back into my old habits of intense self loathing whenever I feel stressed and overwhelmed. This of course led to me almost abandoning my faith due to my deep depression.
Fortunately, for me I serve an infinitely loving and patient God who has helped me understand that he is not going to give up on me. That being said I have to ask how do I move forward toward God ?
It's clear by the last thread that I posted that I have a serious need of a relationship with God, but I have no idea how to do that and I need help.
What should I do ?

A relationship with God can be picked back up simply by telling him what you told us and reading the bible as often as you can . All he wants is us to be real with him and chat away to him.
 
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DiscipleOfChrist85

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Self-loathing? This may sound...strange but the reality is that such loathing is actually an expression of Self. Who in you loathes you? Not God. Who, then? Well, you, right? You loathe yourself. Why? To what end? What purpose does loathing yourself serve? It sure doesn't serve God - especially if you're His child. Such loathing is a reflection of dissatisfaction with who you are but this dissatisfaction is the result of caring - and caring a great deal - about who you are. In fact, the more loathing you have for yourself, the more you reveal how much you care about yourself; for if you cared nothing for yourself, you would feel no loathing at all.

And so, strangely, these self-hating feelings and thoughts we have are actually a perverse form of pride. We wish we were better, superior to our present selves, and so great is the desire to be more than we are, better, superior, that it drives us to frustrated self-hatred. But this is how prideful, selfish Self works. Selfish pride does not allow for peaceful contentment, for comfortable satisfaction with oneself, but caught up always in comparisons with others, Self drives us to feel deep unhappiness with our looks, or intellectual capacities, or skills, which we realize will never equal or exceed such things in others whom we admire.

God, on the other hand, will bring you to contentment with who He made you to be, to a place of peaceful acceptance of yourself as His child, short or tall, fat or skinny, smart or dull, made not for time, but for eternity.



How does any relationship work? What things are essential to healthy relationships? Time, communication, effort.

If I want to be friends with someone but never spend any time with them, can we truly be friends? No.

If I want to be friends with someone but never speak with them, can we truly be friends? No.

If I want to be friends with someone but can't be bothered to make an effort to get to know them, can we truly be friends? No.

God's unique as a Person, though. He's not like everybody else. And the differences make a big difference. In relating with God, He directs our approach to Him and what the nature of our relationship to Him will be. We don't relate with God as an equal, only as servant to Master, creature to Creator, child to Father. We can't just walk up to God, punch Him in the shoulder, and say, "Hey. Howzit?" No, we come to God as needy sinners, weak, wayward and dependent. In the most literal of senses, He is our Life, our Maker and Sustainer, and so we approach Him in humility, sincerity and truth, submitted to His will and way rather than our own, seeking to glorify and serve Him with our lives, as He made us to do.

How do I spend time with God? Bible study. Prayer. Worship. Service.
How do I communicate with God? Bible study. Prayer. Worship. Service.
How do I make an effort to develop my relationship with God? Bible study. Prayer. Worship. Service.

All of this, though, gets pretty dreary and burdensome really quickly when done from the wrong motive, and for the wrong reasons, and under the wrong dynamic. The only right motive is love; the only right reason is to glorify God; the only right dynamic is as a receiver of God's love, truth and power at work in your life.
You make a good point I never though self loathing could be a form of pride but I don't how to not think this way. I've been doing this back and fourth my whole life and I don't know how to change and I grant that yes my motives and reasons for being in a relationship with God are wrong, I don't know another way.
 
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aiki

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You make a good point I never though self loathing could be a form of pride but I don't how to not think this way. I've been doing this back and fourth my whole life and I don't know how to change and I grant that yes my motives and reasons for being in a relationship with God are wrong, I don't know another way.

By and large, God doesn't correct our lives in a single, sudden, radical transformation. He uses a life-long process of change to make us who He desires us to be.

It is God, though, who changes you, not you who changes yourself for God. And God works to do so, to transform you, only as you live before Him in daily submission to His will and way (Romans 6:13-22; Romans 8:14; Romans 12:1; James 4:6-10; 1 Peter 5:6). This is how your relationship with God "works." It's not complicated, but it's not always easy, either. We're so used to sitting on the throne of our hearts that we do so without thinking, pushing the Holy Spirit off of it all the time.

But so long as he is not on the throne, ruling your life, he will not act to change you; for to do so without your conscious consent, which you give by your yielding the throne of your heart to him, would be to make a puppet out of you. There isn't any love in doing so, though, is there? Love and coercion are anathema to each other. But God wants a love-relationship with us (Matthew 22:36-38; 1 Corinthians 13:1-3) as the ground out of which our walk with God grows.

So, if you want to take the throne of your heart and life for yourself, the Holy Spirit, God, will let you, waiting for you to get off of it and give it back to him before he'll begin to change you again. The "trick," then, to Christian living, to walking well with God, is simply to willingly, consciously, persistently give him control of your mind, will, emotions, desires and heart. Then, wait, by faith, on him to transform - OVER TIME - who you are, moving toward him more and more in your living and desires and habits, as He enables you to do so.

The true battle of the Christian life is to remain in submission to God. Not stamping out sin, or fighting off the devil, or pushing down the impulses of your flesh, but when these things confront you, to submit yourself immediately and continuously to God's control. This is the real battle we fight as children of God. The temptation to do the fighting ourselves, to suppress, and control, and change ourselves, is very strong. But if we attempt any of these things without first being submitted to God and moving in His power, the strain of resistance will become too much and failure will soon result.

So, walking well with God is actually pretty simple, isn't it?
 
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Mark Quayle

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This has been a very long and tiring year for me. Because of God's infinite love and grace, my life has changed so dramatically that I have been struggling to cope. As a result I fell back into my old habits of intense self loathing whenever I feel stressed and overwhelmed. This of course led to me almost abandoning my faith due to my deep depression.
Fortunately, for me I serve an infinitely loving and patient God who has helped me understand that he is not going to give up on me. That being said I have to ask how do I move forward toward God ?
It's clear by the last thread that I posted that I have a serious need of a relationship with God, but I have no idea how to do that and I need help.
What should I do ?
It is going to be hard work. Beg him for understanding, and know that understanding is available in his word, and satisfaction in knowing him. Spend as much time as you can reading scripture, looking for answers, but walking with him.

Understand, this life is not for this life. If he has to make you insane, it is not as important as you becoming what he has made you for, and THAT is not in this life, after all. But much of it is more-than-satisfyingly available in this life, but obey first.
 
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