How do you let go? How do you let go and hand it over to God? I once was able to. It was a time when I was very sick and no one knew what was wrong with me and everyone expected I would die. I did almost die. It took me over 18 months to recover (not fully but by 18 months I was getting better instead of worse). During that time I let go of everything earthly. I was a mother to a teenager. I realized that life would go on without me and everyone would survive life without me and that I was as dispensable as every other person was (cuz we all die eventually and life does go on without us). I was too sick to get out of bed and could not do anything. I could not bear to watch TV because I realized how horribly negative everything was and I could not bear anything negative. I was dying and the last thing I needed was negative things. I just laid there waiting to die and my entire being was focused on God and Christ. I stopped caring about everything because I knew my time was up and I was no longer needed on the earth. In other words I completely let go and accepted my fate.
I probably came within days of dying when finally a doctor sent me to an internist who helped me. (For months the doctor kept telling me I had the flu, and since then I do not trust doctors). I very slowly began to recover but continued to lose a pound a week for another year. The person who helped me was actually a homeopathic MD.
Little by little I began to take everything back. I no longer turned everything over to Christ. I no longer expected him to carry my burdens. I took things back, returned to my negative world and allowed myself to carry my pain of life and burdens on my own shoulders. I forgot how to let go and let Jesus carry me through when I needed him.
Why is it I could do it when I thought I was about to die, but now although I am sick and suffer a debilitating illness, I cannot let go and hand things over to God and trust that whatever happens is his will and part of his plan, which is greater than any pain I suffer? Why can't I return to that state of mind that trusts my life and soul to my Lord Jesus Christ?
What is wrong with me that I insist on wanting control over situations I have NO control over?
I think I do suffer from some obsessive problem along with the depression, but the fact is I do have it in me to let go. I did it once. I don't want to have to reach the point of death again to be able to do this. I dread the lessons God teaches me sometimes as they are very painful. I just want to be able to relax and trust everything is in God's hands and that whatever I want is not as important as what He wants. I think the difference this time though is it is not about me. It is about the influence an evil man can have over the souls of two tiny children. So now I hold tight to them, loving them and taking delight in their innocence, and to know it could be destroyed by an evil man, it makes me hold on tight to what I want for them. So how do I let go so I can keep myself from going over the edge into insanity and deep depression from worry and anxiety over them?
It is all in God's hands is it not? Why can't I let go? Can anyone explain it so I can trust? Someone in one of the forums explained how to forgive in steps and I was able to forgive people after 58 years of not being able to. If someone can teach me that then can someone teach me how to let go? Do I just stop caring? I do not know how to not care.
I am feeling pretty sad tonight. I was doing ok for 2 days then all of a sudden depression just hit me again and I feel so bad. I am so tired of life.
It is exhausting. I pray God to have mercy on me and give me peace. I pray God has mercy on these little innocent children that will be hurt horribly by a man who does not care for them. Please people tell me how to not lose hope.
I probably came within days of dying when finally a doctor sent me to an internist who helped me. (For months the doctor kept telling me I had the flu, and since then I do not trust doctors). I very slowly began to recover but continued to lose a pound a week for another year. The person who helped me was actually a homeopathic MD.
Little by little I began to take everything back. I no longer turned everything over to Christ. I no longer expected him to carry my burdens. I took things back, returned to my negative world and allowed myself to carry my pain of life and burdens on my own shoulders. I forgot how to let go and let Jesus carry me through when I needed him.
Why is it I could do it when I thought I was about to die, but now although I am sick and suffer a debilitating illness, I cannot let go and hand things over to God and trust that whatever happens is his will and part of his plan, which is greater than any pain I suffer? Why can't I return to that state of mind that trusts my life and soul to my Lord Jesus Christ?
What is wrong with me that I insist on wanting control over situations I have NO control over?
I think I do suffer from some obsessive problem along with the depression, but the fact is I do have it in me to let go. I did it once. I don't want to have to reach the point of death again to be able to do this. I dread the lessons God teaches me sometimes as they are very painful. I just want to be able to relax and trust everything is in God's hands and that whatever I want is not as important as what He wants. I think the difference this time though is it is not about me. It is about the influence an evil man can have over the souls of two tiny children. So now I hold tight to them, loving them and taking delight in their innocence, and to know it could be destroyed by an evil man, it makes me hold on tight to what I want for them. So how do I let go so I can keep myself from going over the edge into insanity and deep depression from worry and anxiety over them?
It is all in God's hands is it not? Why can't I let go? Can anyone explain it so I can trust? Someone in one of the forums explained how to forgive in steps and I was able to forgive people after 58 years of not being able to. If someone can teach me that then can someone teach me how to let go? Do I just stop caring? I do not know how to not care.
I am feeling pretty sad tonight. I was doing ok for 2 days then all of a sudden depression just hit me again and I feel so bad. I am so tired of life.
It is exhausting. I pray God to have mercy on me and give me peace. I pray God has mercy on these little innocent children that will be hurt horribly by a man who does not care for them. Please people tell me how to not lose hope.
