how do I get out?!!

[lorri]

I came across this forum and i hope it will help me out. I have read other peoples situations and I am glad that i am not the only one in this.
I have been dating a non-christian for 5 yrs now. I want to get out of this relationship because of God's Word.
I thought I could change him a number of times I have told him that my faith comes first before the relationship. That we would have to change this relationship in order to do it God's way.
Every time I said this i would be pulled down and go right back to our old ways.
we live together in a 2 bedroom apt which i thought would make our relationship
better than if we rented a one bedroom apt. I was wrong.
every week i felt a restless and uneasy about the relationship. I would be angry and confused. the relationship was not heading towards marriage because of certain circumstances and we were not going anywhere spiritually.
A few days ago i decided enough was enough and that this had to end. i find it hard to tell him the spiritual reason for breaking up with him . He makes the argument that I think I am better than him. I have purposed that I would end it anyway . I have been hostile towards him i think if i do that then he will understand that this is the end. He is arguing with his logic. He makes some good points . but I have to go through this now.
i have nowhere to go right now I am in a country that is not my own. i do not want to break the lease on the apt so that i will have a good references for my next rental.
apart from that i have a christian friend who lives abroad that wants to pursue a relationship with me . he knows my situation but he is willing for us to go on with the relationship as long as we can be in the same country soon.
he caught me by surprise when he told me this. So i have alot of praying to do. he will be visiting me in a month. he always has been a person who would
just be in the sidelines and be there as a friend even through my college days. I have to make the right decision i dont think I can go dating again after making such a bad decision.
can someone give me some advice please

 

[GirlieGirl]

Do whatever you need to do to get a new place to live. I'm not sure what that entails, but do it.

Don't get caught up with this new guy too soon. If he's God's plan for you, he won't have Any problem waiting for you.

 

[lorri]

thank you for your help . moving does entail alot . since i dont have a car that would also affect where i move to. right now i am near my job. it makes it easier for me. i won't get involved with this other guy too soon. you are right if it is God's plan he will wait. he is willing to wait for my decision . I am not in a rush giving him an answer.
the other thing about the guy i have been dating is that once when i said i would leave him he almost ran towards an oncoming train that also scares me sometimes. i think he is obsessed with me . I want a way that he will come out of this relationship a better person. i will be praying and getting alot of help from this forum . aswell as other people at a local church. keep on praying for me .

 

[JVD]

Can you leave? What is there that is holding you? Can you get family help to leave the country?

Your description of his response when you said you would move concerns me. He may become violent or bother you some other way if you move out.

By the way...I don't call it dating when you are living with someone. After realizing the mistake you made and now trying to do the right thing it is important not to minimize the situation you are in.

I think it is extremely important for you to get out of this relationship both for spiritual reasons and for other physical reasons. Can you get help for a place to stay from the local church?

 

[Room4all]

First be honest and be firm. Let him know that you desire a relationship centered on the lord because he is your compass.

I dont know the details of your relationship but if there is sin admit it and move on.

 

[TheseBlindEyes]

This is a really hard situation for you and honestly I understand because I am in one that is very similar. My bf and I have been dating for 4 years and we lived together for a years or so. I moved out because he is a non-Christian and is not open to trying to be. Its going to be so hard for you when you finally do it. Just prepare yourself because he may do everything to make you feel absolutely terrible about your decision. To be completely honest, I wondered about my bf too, about what he would do to himself if I left. That was the thing that kept me living with him so long, I was so worried about what might happen. But I prayed about it and finally realized that it needed to be done and I would be staying for the wrong reasons.

I can't give you perfect advise because, although I moved out, I am still struggling in this relationship. I have finally told him about our religious differences being the cause for my not wanting to marry him and I think that you should make that clear to your bf. It was so hard for me to explain when he didn't know what I was thinking. The most you can do is be completely honest about it and try to explain it, he may not understand at all and may get upset with you. But at least he will know why you left.

Its going to be really rough on you and I will be praying. Just to let you know, it might be really awkward for you if you jump into a relationship with this other guy. But keep talking to him, because it will be good for you to have a Christian to confide in. God Bless.