How do I get my friends to talk to me after they're mad at me for things I do wrong?

[Lanae]

so every time I go off on friends' friends, or do or say something wrong, they would block me every where, tell everyone around them about what I said or did, make every one ignore me and I tried to find different ways to get them to talk to me and nothing worked. They don't have to ignore me for a very long time. I wish they would just unblock me and talk to me. I would never get them to talk to me over something I said or did. I wished never said or did something wrong to them and I would've kept my friends forever and for life. What should I do?

 

[Aldebaran]

so every time I go off on friends' friends, or do or say something wrong, they would block me every where, tell everyone around them about what I said or did, make every one ignore me and I tried to find different ways to get them to talk to me and nothing worked. They don't have to ignore me for a very long time. I wish they would just unblock me and talk to me. I would never get them to talk to me over something I said or did. I wished never said or did something wrong to them and I would've kept my friends forever and for life. What should I do?

Online, I'm not sure there's much you can do if they block you. If you're referring to friends that you actually see on a regular basis, you can just approach them and start a conversation to clear things up.

 

[Blade]

so every time I go off on friends' friends, or do or say something wrong, they would block me every where, tell everyone around them about what I said or did, make every one ignore me and I tried to find different ways to get them to talk to me and nothing worked. They don't have to ignore me for a very long time. I wish they would just unblock me and talk to me. I would never get them to talk to me over something I said or did. I wished never said or did something wrong to them and I would've kept my friends forever and for life. What should I do?

Hi.. I don't think this is the same but.. years ago my mom stopped talking to me. I mean no more cards nothing no phone calls nothing. So I wrote a letter with no return address since I knew she would not read it where at first never talked about me but took the blame but love for and life is short and forgive me.. things I knew would touch her heart. She right after that started talking to me. But know I will be praying...

 

[St_Worm2]

Hello @Lanae, you’re the one who is at fault here, yes? If this is so, is there something stopping you from calling your friends and telling your them how much you miss them, apologizing to them, and then asking them to forgive you? (or, as @Blade just suggested, write them a note of apology and mail it to them, especially if you never see them in person).

Praying for you!

God bless you!!

—David
p.s. - if things persist, perhaps talking to your pastor would help (I assume that your friends don’t go to church with you, yes?).

 

[Lanae]

Hello @Lanae, you’re the one who is at fault here, yes? If this is so, is there something stopping you from calling your friends and telling your them how much you miss them, apologizing to them, and then asking them to forgive you? (or, as @Blade just suggested, write them a note of apology and mail it to them, especially if you never see them in person).

Praying for you!

God bless you!!

—David
p.s. - if things persist, perhaps talking to your pastor would help (I assume that your friends don’t go to church with you, yes?).

Ok thank you I know some of them like Anime so I can see them at a Anime Convention in my city and ask them how they’re doing

 

[St_Worm2]

...every time I go off on friends' friends, or do or say something wrong...

Hello again @Lanae, going forward (in all of your relationships), you may want to ask God for His help in making better/greater use of the "fruit" that every believer receives from the Holy Spirit when he/she is saved, particularly that of "self-control" (I believe that it is listed last in the list for a good reason ).

Here's a list of the different kinds of "fruit" that we receive from the Holy Spirit, preceded by a list of the deeds of the flesh, the "deeds" that we, as believers, are to walk further and further away from during our lives here as we (alongside of the Lord/with His continuous help, of course) grow up in the faith and in Christlikeness, discarding the "old man/old self/old nature", day by day/moment by moment, in favor of the "new man/new self/new nature" instead .. e.g. Philippians 1:6, 2:12-13; Ephesians 4:22-24 ).

So here we go, the deeds of the flesh ~vs~ the fruit of the Spirit.

Galatians 5
19 The deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality,
20 idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions,
21 envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
24 Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
25 If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.
26 Let us not become boastful, challenging one another, envying one another.
​

We all hope (as believers) that our lives will continually/progressively look more and more like the "fruit" that is described in v22-23 above, and that they will be characterized less and less by the deeds that we see in v19-21. The good news is, the very same One who saved us has also promised to "sanctify" us (make us more and more Christlike) throughout our lives here, and to see us safely though this life to be with Him forever in Glory .. e.g. Hebrews 7:25

God bless you!

--David
p.s. - here's a VERY interesting (and famous) verse from the Lord Jesus (from His Sermon on the Mount) concerning, in particular, our relationships with one another. I find it particularly interesting because it condenses or summarizes the entire Old Testament ("the Law and the Prophets") into just a single verse (into half of a verse, actually).

Matthew 7
12 However you want people to treat you, so treat them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.​

The particularly difficult part of this command is this, we are to ALWAYS treat others like we would (at least) hope to be treated by them .. NO MATTER how badly they may be treating us in the moment, and/or how badly they may have treated us in the past. So, how they are ~actually~ treating us doesn't matter in regard to this command.

This can be a VERY hard thing to do (obviously), IMPOSSIBLE, in point of fact, if we are not both in Christ and walking in the Spirit. The good news is, the Lord is patient, kind and always willing to forgive us and see us back on our 'spiritual' feet (so to speak) whenever we fail to obey Him, simply by asking Him to do so, yes? .. e.g. 1 John 1:9.
.

 

[JohnL1153]

OK. If you are seeking to get back into the good graces of friends, it a relatively simple process.

1. Apologise
2. Repent
3. (and this is the hard part) Don't do it again!

You may only get one chance because if you continue to tick them off, they will just move on and ignore you.

If you are at fault and you KNOW you are at fault, then it is you who has to change. If you have flaws (as we all do) that set you off, like maybe you suffer from a short temper, then tell your friends about it. Speak to them about your weaknesses and if they really are your friends, they will listen and overlook the occasional outburst.

But the key is to change the way you think, which will change the way you act. As the scripture says,

We destroy arguments and every proud obstacle to the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ, (2 Corinthians 10:5)​

This is part of the key to learning to walk in the Spirit. It begins with prayer. Every time your temper flares up, or whatever it is that sets you off, pray about it. Humble yourself under the mighty hand of God and don't be ruled by the passions and desires of your flesh. Consider these scriptures:

Beloved, I beseech you as aliens and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh that wage war against your soul. (1 Peter 2:11)

so as to live for the rest of the time in the flesh no longer by human passions but by the will of God. (1 Peter 4:2)

And you he made alive, when you were dead through the trespasses and sins 2 in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience. 3 Among these we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, following the desires of body and mind, and so we were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. 4 But God, who is rich in mercy, out of the great love with which he loved us, 5 even when we were dead through our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved) (Ephesians 2:1-5)​

 

[Tolworth John]

so every time I go off on friends' friends, or do or say something wrong, they would block me every where, tell everyone around them about what I said or did, make every one ignore me and I tried to find different ways to get them to talk to me and nothing worked. They don't have to ignore me for a very long time. I wish they would just unblock me and talk to me. I would never get them to talk to me over something I said or did. I wished never said or did something wrong to them and I would've kept my friends forever and for life. What should I do?

If they are your friends, they will tell you when you have hurt them, upset them etc, why this affects them this way and give you an oppertunity to apologise.
If all they do is block you they are not your friends.

 

[Joined2krist]

God loves you

 

[turkle]

so every time I go off on friends' friends, or do or say something wrong, they would block me every where, tell everyone around them about what I said or did, make every one ignore me and I tried to find different ways to get them to talk to me and nothing worked. They don't have to ignore me for a very long time. I wish they would just unblock me and talk to me. I would never get them to talk to me over something I said or did. I wished never said or did something wrong to them and I would've kept my friends forever and for life. What should I do?

Hi Lanae. According to what you said, it looks like you "go off" on friends a lot, since you said "every time". By "go off", I assume you're yelling at them?

I recall some of your past posts where you said that you tickle people when they don't like it and you pester them until they cut you off. It sounds like you are continuing this kind of behavior. And then you pester them again to try to get them to talk to you.

It's important to understand that if you are exhibiting annoying behavior, as it sounds like you are, then people have every right to avoid you. You understand that, right? Would you want to be around someone who was irritating you and "going off" on you? I sure wouldn't.

Friendship is about caring about others and how they feel. If you are kind to people, they will want to be with you. It doesn't sound like you are doing that. There's a possibility that these people will not speak to you any more, and you will have to accept that. You can try to apologize and commit to treating them better, but they might have had enough.

My recommendation is that if they do continue to avoid you that you respect that and let them go. Commit to being a good friend; one who doesn't touch inappropriately, doesn't yell and speaks always with kindness and love. As you make new friends, you will have much better relationships.

 

[Sabri]

1. Apologize
2. Repent (godly sorrow)
3. Learn to be a friend
Last of you don’t like it when people block you then stop the behavior that causes them to block you. I don’t understand if you want the persons friendship then why not call them or discuss your feelings with them.

 

[walkswithFire]

so every time I go off on friends' friends, or do or say something wrong, they would block me every where, tell everyone around them about what I said or did, make every one ignore me and I tried to find different ways to get them to talk to me and nothing worked. They don't have to ignore me for a very long time. I wish they would just unblock me and talk to me. I would never get them to talk to me over something I said or did. I wished never said or did something wrong to them and I would've kept my friends forever and for life. What should I do?

Pray. Sometimes God removes people from you life and sometimes he will open doors to new friends. Pray that God opens and shuts these doors so that you will not have to second guess who will stay in your life and who will not. He knows what you need before you ask so pray xxoo