How do I get him to get help

[rodeosound]

I have realized after 16 years of marriage that my husband suffers from some sort of mental illness. He has had over 30 jobs, only one lasting 2 years, the rest less than a year. There are so many projects that he starts and does not finish. There are times that he goes for days and days with little to no sleep and thinks he can conquer the world. Followed by days and days where he sleeps and refuses to get up and go to work (hence all of the jobs). I have self-diagnosed him with Bipolar and when I mention he needs to go to the doctor to see why he stays upset, or gets mad, or gets depressed, he screams at me that he is not crazy. I have tried and tried to tell him he is not crazy, just that something is wrong. This past mania lasted two weeks. the depression lasted two days and he lost a great job because of it. In mania before this one he ran off to Louisana to help the Katrina victims and ran up $23000 worth of debt. He now has 7 law suits against him. I know he needs to go see a doctor, but he refuses to go, period. What can I do? His actions are tearing this family apart, and the kids don't even want to be around him. I cannot find a local support group, and there doesn't seem to be any crisis numbers I can find to ask for help.

(PS. His mother says he is not sick and that God can heal anything, that I should not 'label' him mentally ill or the devil will latch onto him and make him ill. She is very fanatic and there is no talking to her because she throws scripture out to prove her points.....ie, the prodical son didn't get medicines, his family didn't make him do to the doctor just because he had a few problems.....)

Does anyone have any suggestions. I am almost to the point it is time to make him leave, or give him an ultimatium.

Laura

 

[Alive again]

SIGH!!! There are emergency psychiatric holds that the police or a doctors can do if he is a threat to you or himself. The truth is you cannot help someone who refuses to help themselves. Even God gives us free choice. I know you are praying! In those situations, the only thing you can do is draw safe boundaries, and yes, you may need to give an ultimatum or force him to move out until he gets help. SOme with this illness do not face it until such times. Do you have an attorney helping with the lawsuits or is that all related to the debt, in which case bankruptcy may be the way to go. I fyou are involved with an attorney and a criminal type case, the court may demand a psych eval or the attorney may recommend you get and pay for one (very expensive btw)

SOmetimes the best thing to do is pursue the emergency police hold. Just a few thoughts without all the facts.

Prayers!!!

 

[rodeosound]

He does not have a lawyer ("I don't need one") and he is trying to make payments against all of these suits, but since he cannot keep a job long enough he is falling further and further behind. I live in Texas and I cannot seem to find anything that will allow me to leaglly make him go to the doctor. I looked up emergency police hold and cannot find any information on it. According to a counselor, all I can do is ask the police to do a welfare check on him, and only if the police deems it necessary will he be sent for an evaluation. I am sure he can play it off while talking to the police, but all h%$$ would break loose once we were alone. I feel like I am walking around in a mine field, never knowing what will set him off this time. Ths kids stay in their bedrooms because they don't want to be around him. He has never been physically abusive, but this emotional abuse, I think, is worse.

 

[berry2000]

Oh man. I don't have any answers for this one...but I will pray.

 

[angelkiss]

For starters, it's obvious that his mother isn't of any help, so that puts her out.
It's really hard to get one to see that they really have a problem. I am the first to admit it. I was two years in denial when this illness hit me full-blown. One of the worse things you can do is keep on him about it for he's only going to keep getting angrier.
I don't know if it will help, but if you can find info on bipolar and catch him on a good day and ask him to sit down and read it with you, maybe that will get him to thinking.
Or, if there is another friend or family member you can go to that won't be so negative about it, if he is more apt to listen to that person, maybe they can talk to him.
I will pray that God will intervene and get this solved for you and your hubby.
's and es!!

 

[Jeshu]

I would shy away from direct confrontation about the issue if at all possible, instead I would leave plenty of information about bipolar around the house, hoping he might pick up some info from that.

A hard one, I'll pray for you


Gerry