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How do I forgive myself?

muse

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I have been saved for 5 yrs and truly enjoy walking with Jesus.It' a life style for me, my way of life. I study and attend church on a regular bases.I'm very active in my church- every knows me and respects me a great deal. I enjoy talking about the goodness of my God, and do so @ my work place, and family events . I encourage others daily , I'm a prayer partner to many and friend to all..but this weekend I did something that was so out of character that I can't even look myself in the eyes in the mirror. I'm physically sick about this. I have repent to God and cried for his forgiveness, but I can't forgive myself, I actually hate myself right now and feel so low. I'm not suicidal, but I literally hate myself, my Spirit is the lowest it's ever been. I can't talk with anyone, because everyone thinks that I'm the strong one, the one who would NEVER do anything wrong. This weekend I said, I'm so tired of being perfect ALL the time, always saying the right thing, always living right and preaching to other, I just wanted to "get away" this past weekend and I did and now WOW! it sucks and it's so not worth all this heart ache and pain. I'm so disappointed in myself and can only imagine what my Father in heaven must think of me..our relationship will never be the same. I have failed him.
 

scott29

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muse,
God forgave you for what you did as soon as you asked Him to. Your self-loathing is an attack from Satan to steal that forgiveness from you. You know he has no power or right to take anything Jesus gave to you, right? It's terrible that you are carrying this around with you when you don't have to. Satan is riding your back and digging in, delighting in your dismay at this and telling you how God couldn't possibly look at you the same way. Pardon the expression, but he's nothing more than a bully trying to steal your milk money. You need to throw him off and take back what he's trying to steal from you.

As far as what your Father in heaven must think of you, consider this. The apostle Paul, before he came to God, persecuted and murdered Christians. God forgave him and he became one of the greatest apostles in the bible. I don't think Paul's relationship with God suffered because of what he had done in the past, do you?

I'm praying for you. God bless.
Scott
 
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Rafael

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I agree with Scott for you. Forget that which is past and press on towards the goal we have in Christ. You lost a battle, but not the war we all have with the old man's nature so praise God that He has forgiven you your sins from the day you were born till the day you die and go home - they are forgotten as far as the East is from the West. So don't let your own idea of righteousness get above that of the Lord's work for you on the cross. Accept His grace, resolve in your heart to never fall in the same manner again (repentance), and forget the past and press on. We all slip from time to time, but never fall headlong, because it it the Lord that holds our hand. Read Psalm 32 and observe King David after he had sinned horribly.

Php 3:13 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,

Ps 37:24 Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholdeth him with his hand.

Ps 103:12 As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.
 
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rogsr

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Hello muse,
Scott is exactly correct. God forgives us and knows that there will be occasions for stumbling. Don't forget that God has understanding.

Sin is like herpes, it is always with you and you may not have an outbreak for a very long time and then all of a sudden, there it is again. The trick is to learn how to control the outbreaks by staying mindful of your actions all the time. This is how you do that..concentrate on loving everyone and every little plant and animal that you come across and you probably won't sin. Think about it, if you're busy loving you won't be busy sinning.

It is good to feel guilty though and it is a gift from God because it makes us feel the agony that Jesus feels when we sin. This real physically painful guilt is there because we are in communion with Jesus Christ and our pain is His pain and our love is His love and our tears are His tears. I'm also glad that you came here..welcome :)

Once your life is in God's hands nothing can take you away from Him. Nothing.
 
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IKTCA

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Brother Muse:

Whether you forgive yourself or not does not count. Your forgiveness cannot make you live a day longer. Neither can it bring peace to you. What counts is the Lord's forgiveness. You must receive the forgiveness of Jesus.

Since you repented, you know in your mind that Jesus forgave you. The bible says so. But your heart has not accepted the forgiveness yet. Jesus' forgiveness has reached your mind, but not your heart yet.

Continue to seek the Lord through scrirpture reading and prayer. YOu are going through this for good purpose. I do not know what that purpose is. Neither do you. But in Christ all pains are worthy. By the mercy of our Father you will come out of this shame and guilt as a shining light, filled with truth and joy. Let us pray.

Lord,
Shine your light on a repenting heart. Reveal your forgiveness completed on the cross to this good brother. His heart is torn by guilt and shame. Only you can cover him with honor and glory, that is beyond our imagination. Knowing you will, we give thanks to you. Amen.
 
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desi

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If you sincerely repent you know God forgives you, which is what is important. If you are in conflict with yourself you will lose no matter who wins, sort of like a civil war where all casualties are citizens of the same country. Just give it to God and move on with what God has shown you.
 
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muse

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God bless you all for all the wonderful advice to thsi post. God has been ministering to my heart, and the guilt and pain are subsiding--my Spirit is being set free! I aslo heard an Awesome and ANOINTED message this morning from Paula White. She preached that we may get down in our walk but not defeated, we can rise and be great! I shall RISE!
Please pray for me as I pray for you!

Muse
 
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