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How do I be a proper christian woman? (I am Ex-Transgender)

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Hi all. Im sorry if this has been put in the wrong thread, i am new here.

I have been christian for about a year or so now, my family is not. The entire time i have been Christian i had been at debate with what was right on account of thinking I had been born in the wrong body.

Recently though i have realised that i should except what the Lord has created me as and not continue pretending to be a man. I have taken oppisite sex hormones for about a year and a half, and have been transitioning since i was about 13 (I am 17 now)which leads me to my question.

Since I have been learning to be a man throughout when I should have been learning to be a woman, how would I go about being a proper woman? Also how do I tell my church about this?

Thanks in advance for any responses and God bless.
 

Dave-W

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Welcome to the forums Charlotte! And even more so - welcome to the Family of Faith in our Lord Jesus!

I hope you will find someone here who can guide you thru all of that.
 
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“Paisios”

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Hi all. Im sorry if this has been put in the wrong thread, i am new here.

I have been christian for about a year or so now, my family is not. The entire time i have been Christian i had been at debate with what was right on account of thinking I had been born in the wrong body.

Recently though i have realised that i should except what the Lord has created me as and not continue pretending to be a man. I have taken oppisite sex hormones for about a year and a half, and have been transitioning since i was about 13 (I am 17 now)which leads me to my question.

Since I have been learning to be a man throughout when I should have been learning to be a woman, how would I go about being a proper woman? Also how do I tell my church about this?

Thanks in advance for any responses and God bless.
I have not faced your struggles, so don’t have specific advice regarding your situation. But in learning how to be a good Christian, I have sought out the Scriptures, the examples of the early Church Father’s, and looked to the example of godly people around me who seem to “have it all together”, especially those older than me who have walked in faith for some time.

As for telling your church, I suspect that if I were in your situation, I would only discuss it with my pastor (at least initially), and even then, I would wait until I was certain I was able to trust him and developed a good relationship. (I don’t know if that is the right answer, but that is what I would do). It might also depend on what church you belong to, and the church’s expectations.

I pray that God gives you strength and clarity on your journey.
 
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Sam91

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Hi, Welcome to CF

Concentrate on serving the Lord and others.

In doing so your natural self will grow and be a nicer and an authentic one. Just take time and learn to know yourself.

Trust in the Master Potter to do it! I am glad that you are coming to an acceptance of who you are.
 
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I have not faced your struggles, so don’t have specific advice regarding your situation. But in learning how to be a good Christian, I have sought out the Scriptures, the examples of the early Church Father’s, and looked to the example of godly people around me who seem to “have it all together”, especially those older than me who have walked in faith for some time.

As for telling your church, I suspect that if I were in your situation, I would only discuss it with my pastor (at least initially), and even then, I would wait until I was certain I was able to trust him and developed a good relationship. (I don’t know if that is the right answer, but that is what I would do). It might also depend on what church you belong to, and the church’s expectations.

I pray that God gives you strength and clarity on your journey.

Thank you for your advice, regardless of how I go about it the church will know at some point because I started going when I was confused. I think talking to the pastor first would be a good idea, thanks again for your help.
 
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Hi, Welcome to CF

Concentrate on serving the Lord and others.

In doing so your natural self will grow and be a nicer and an authentic one. Just take time and learn to know yourself.

Trust in the Master Potter to do it! I am glad that you are coming to an acceptance of who you are.

Thank you so much for this reply, it is very helpful.
 
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Chinchilla

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Since I have been learning to be a man throughout when I should have been learning to be a woman, how would I go about being a proper woman? Also how do I tell my church about this?

Do you have proper chromosme amount ? I heared that there is dissease which make you have not proper amount of chromosomes so person has to choose of being male or female but I assume that you just wanted to be male while being female and having female body parts is this correct ?

If so then you just be yourself . You don't have to suddenly become house wife and have lots of children , there are girls who act like men and do men job for example they ride choppers , fight in woman MMA ( just search on youtube ) , being woman truck driver , strong women .

You don't have to change who you are really and it won't work in the long run just find something you are interested to and don't let society decide what woman should do in thier eyes .
 
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“Paisios”

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Thank you for your advice, regardless of how I go about it the church will know at some point because I started going when I was confused. I think talking to the pastor first would be a good idea, thanks again for your help.
They may know, but they are not automatically entitled to explanations. Some are interested only in gossip (even in the church)...it is usually better for spiritual growth to confide details only to those who most genuinely care for you and will help you on your path.

Just my thoughts, so take them for what they are worth (very little, I fear, but it is all I have).
 
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dqhall

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Hi all. Im sorry if this has been put in the wrong thread, i am new here.

I have been christian for about a year or so now, my family is not. The entire time i have been Christian i had been at debate with what was right on account of thinking I had been born in the wrong body.

Recently though i have realised that i should except what the Lord has created me as and not continue pretending to be a man. I have taken oppisite sex hormones for about a year and a half, and have been transitioning since i was about 13 (I am 17 now)which leads me to my question.

Since I have been learning to be a man throughout when I should have been learning to be a woman, how would I go about being a proper woman? Also how do I tell my church about this?

Thanks in advance for any responses and God bless.
It is more honest to be what you were born as. Honesty is important in being a Christian. There are principles to be found in Jesus' teachings.

Proverbs 31:10-31 describes some of the qualities of a good wife. Some of these qualities could be achieved by a single woman as well.
 
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ubicaritas

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You need to work out these things for yourself and exercise personal moral agency and responsibility. No church has the right to tell you what to do with such an intimate aspect of your life. There are plenty of churches in the UK where this is simply a private matter.

I would be concerned that taking male hormones has caused changes to your body that cannot be easily hidden. I'm also concerned about your long-term psychological wellbeing with this decision you have made in light of that.

I do not believe having traditional male or female gender roles is all that important for a Christian. Galatians 3:28 comes to mind. The first person to be baptized in the book of Acts is a eunuch, hardly a traditional gender role in western society. So... just be yourself.
 
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The Lord invited all types of people to come to Him. His burden is light. You don’t have to please everybody. What’s important is to please Him that created the heaven and earth. Don’t let your heart be troubled anymore for He has given you salvation for your soul.
 
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Albion

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Charlotte, I would not rush to tell anyone about it. And I would concentrate on being a good Christian. For the most part, being a good Christian man and being a good Christian woman amounts to about the same thing. You can refine the few differences later.
 
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chunkofcoal

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Welcome Charlotte!
I don't think there is such a thing as "a proper woman" - there are ultra feminine women and tomboys and everything in between. Just allow yourself to grow and become who you are meant to be. :hug:

But, there are different standards in different denominations regarding a woman's dress and participation in church. In some churches a woman can't preach or has to be silent, in others, women can preach and take leadership roles. In some denominations women can wear what they want, in others they might have to wear long dresses, and/or cover their hair. There are as many ways of being a Christian woman as there are Christian women. :)

I agree you should talk to your Pastor first.
Good luck and God bless!
 
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Humble me Lord

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Hello Charlotte, glad you joined us here at CF!
You are spot on, the Lord made you just as you are, and He has a plan for your life. We live in a fallen world where many are deceived by what man thinks is wrong or right.
Luckily we have a guide book that tells us how He wants us to live. So the closer your relationship with Him grows, the easier it is to let the Holy Spirit guide us on the narrow path He wants us to walk on. This doesn't mean we will have an easy life, but the life we look forward to is eternal, where there are no more tears or sorrow.
I lived my life for myself for 35 years before I finally came to Him, so you are doing great so far.
The best advice I can give you is to get to work on your personal relationship with Him. Pray and talk often with Him, read His Word as much as you can, the Holy Spirit will start to guide you.
He often uses tough situations to teach us, to shape us into what He wants us to be, maybe He will use your trials to have you minister to others going through the same thing.
All the people who have accepted Christ as their savior are the true church, and we are your family, so we love you and are here for you.
I don't think you need to share this with your church, would there be any woman in your church who you can confide in to help you?
 
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Kenny'sID

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I'm thinking your past, as long as you are done with it, or you're making sincere headway in getting done with it, it's not something you need to share with anyone. Now if your are struggling with the change, and need to talk to someone, just do it.

I would say to stop the hormones, that is if that is possible without hurting your health...you would need to talk to your doctor about that, weening off and such. Then, just settle with being what you are, something it sounds like you have decided to do already.

If it's not going smoothly, you can certainly tell us about any particular problems. As you can see, there are many here that are very glad for you for the particular transition you are making, that I'm sure would be willing to offer whatever support they can.
 
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Hi all. Im sorry if this has been put in the wrong thread, i am new here.

I have been christian for about a year or so now, my family is not. The entire time i have been Christian i had been at debate with what was right on account of thinking I had been born in the wrong body.

Recently though i have realised that i should except what the Lord has created me as and not continue pretending to be a man. I have taken oppisite sex hormones for about a year and a half, and have been transitioning since i was about 13 (I am 17 now)which leads me to my question.

Since I have been learning to be a man throughout when I should have been learning to be a woman, how would I go about being a proper woman? Also how do I tell my church about this?

Thanks in advance for any responses and God bless.
You are unique—in a good way, and God loves you exactly as you are. I understand the sense of wanting to know how to behave, since I have been trying to figure that out my whole life. It is a common consequence for anyone that wants to be accepted by others (an aspect of being loved) but for whom it doesn't "just happen" naturally.

You might find it useful to "desexualize your thinking" in everything. You are a human being before you are any particular gender or a set of behaviors that makes you or other people comfortable. Psychologists have one view of what a "normal" person is, the news media has another, and your family and friends yet another. However, these are all definitions and perceptions created by humans. They are useful to understand so you can live in peace, but your higher purpose is to connect to God exactly as you are. He loves you exactly as you are without change. It sounds like the best thing for you right now to connect with God is a regular prayer time and to take studying the Bible seriously. Don't overdo it such that you might burn out, but figure out what you can persist in. (20 minutes each morning? more? less?, attend a Bible study once/week?)

Part of drawing near to God is to not sin, but regarding a person's "sinful state," we are all in the same basket. We were all born tainted with sin, and God has already forgiven anyone who repents (asking for God's forgiveness with a heart to never do it again) of their sin no matter what it was. God will never hold a genuinely repented of sin against someone. In one place, Scripture describes this as God forgetting the sin. Furthermore, if you have genuinely believed in Jesus and received him as your Lord and God, then he has recreated the substance of who you are. The real you (your spirit) is no longer even tainted with sin, although we all continue to be afflicted by the sinful nature (our "flesh") in this life.
 
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Kristen.NewCreation

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Thanks!
 
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Thank you all for your responses, it has helped alot hearing thoughts on this from others. I will pray more to the Lord and spend more time reading the bible and let things naturally develop from there.
May God bless you all.
 
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