I agree with so much of what you say, so many warnings revealing so much, thank you for spending your time writing this long thought out post and for giving me a window into your heart.
Although I obviously didn’t view it that way at the time, by remarkable fortune I spent the first 16 years of my life being raised by unbelieving parents (in a secular country) who constantly revealed my foolishness to me with a rod, and only that if I was lucky.
Being a culture where the rod was considered the finest teacher in the land, how can I not now be grateful that I was the focus of his wrath, holding the school record for lessons under his supervision, and yet I still marvel that with all of that foolishness having been driven out of me, I am still so full of it.
I think the skin on my derrière was probably almost thicker than the skin on my feet by the time I was 16 and considering I walked barefoot up until that time that is saying something.
All I can say is thank God for the peaceful fruit of righteousness that came by those years but I am certainly glad that I don’t have to live my life again.
Considering my very likely imminent death to be far preferable to continued life at home, I escaped my captivity at 16 (my earliest legal opportunity) to join one of the most disciplined and austere fighting forces on Earth, waging a brutal war in Africa, and to my great dismay and seemingly unending suffering, for twenty years the instruction and regimen only served to magnify the painful lessons of my formative years.
Fortunately, hating my life as I did, I excelled as a soldier, having no fear of death, and although I ever pressed myself to the forefront of the action I never seemed to be able to accomplish the escape that earnestly sought by a valiant death.
Nevertheless, my efforts were rewarded in measure far beyond my wildest dreams and I found myself rising to the top of the tree in a way that I never could have imagined and the higher up I rose the more worried I became that my peers and my commanders would one day see me for the wretched worthless fool that I was, but that day never came and 20 years later I left the force, having managed to con everybody into believing that I was an honourable righteous courageous man of great wisdom and fortitude and the knowledge of the reality of my evil selfish heart only added to the measure of the guilt for my wretchedness.
Having never got to a point in life where I found anything but foolishness in my heart, I cannot really identify with the wisdom you saw in your own and although I wish in truth I could claim otherwise, I would be lying if I told you that the actions of my life have ever revealed any wisdom at all.
When I therefore see someone (claiming to be of the number) acting the fool, trying to employ cunning deception in a desperation to deny obvious fault to justify themselves before men, I thank God for my great blessing in being able to freely acknowledge my own abundant wretchedness, knowing also that I truly am a bigger fool than they will ever be.
Knowing that I am instructed to convey those blessings to others where I can (
Matthew 18.15.
Luke 17.3) I ever strive to do so in wisdom, but never seem to be able to attain to that calling even in the measure of a worm or a flea on a dead dog.
After leaving the army at 37 years old and then ending up an undocumented refugee for 20 years, often jobless and homeless in a foreign land, far from my homeland, I thought my life would be a journey of endless folly and great sorrow all the way to my death but God saved me out of all of it.
At the age of nearly 40, still an unbeliever, knowing nothing about the Word or Christ or God, except as swear words, I got to know a man who assured me that the Bible was the word of God and I felt desperately sorry for him that he had given his life over to an unprovable delusion and I earnestly wanted to save him from his awful boring miserable life, which seemed even worse than my own.
I decided to read the Bible, believing that I would find all sorts of nonsense and flaws in it and would be able to prove to him that it was not the word of God and thereby save him from his terrible and mind numbingly mundane existence.
I started in the book of Matthew and by verse 11 of chapter 1, at the carrying away to Babylon, I believed that I was reading a history book and I marvelled at it because it was not what I expected at all.
Before the end of chapter 5, I believed that Christ was the son of God, who was crucified for the sins of the world and I immediately received the manifestation John 14.21 and the sure mercies of David, having never received the preaching of men or knowing anything about the Bible or God or the church at all.
Although I did not obtain papers for another two decades after that, such things immediately became an utter irrelevance to me as I began to rejoice in the knowledge of why God had allowed me to understand my foolishness for so long.
Having read the book now about 15 times and knowing that I have been brayed for nearly 70 years with a pestle in a mortar among the wheat, I wish that I could say that I was no longer the abject fool that I have always been, but that would be a lie.
Nevertheless at least I can now rejoice in the knowledge of its cause and knowing that the end of a matter is greater than its beginning.
Romans 7:24 KJV
O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?
I certainly know you are right about the warnings, but I would go even go further and say we must be ever mindful not to walk away from the mirror and forget what manner of men we were, for the proud who become puffed up by knowledge, walk away and forget that wisdom (in obedience) only comes by suffering (Hebrews 5.8) and legitimacy only comes by chastening (Hebrews 12.8)
Whenever I find vipers hatching eggs in the temple, denying their deeds in deception, I know that I will receive many objections in turning their tables over, but I know that the shepherds will stand with me, ever cautious not to tempt the weak to return to house from whence they came out and knowing the fear that shall be sown at the rebuke of the wicked is as rare as fine gold in the days when the love of many has grown cold.
Nevertheless, I am not ignorant of the consequences.
2 Corinthians 12:15 KJV
. . . the more abundantly I love you, the less I be loved.
And so I thank God that I know I am a fool for Christ’s sake and that my praise is of God and my eye on the prize and that Jude 1.23 is ever on my mind, especially knowing the day that is at hand.