Doubting is not wrong; we all have a little Thomas in us. Wanting to know is good; having a need for God is good, because He loves to serve. As you talk with other members you will find they are going through or have been through similar struggles.
The best thing for you would be to have at least one brother in Christ you could share with your issues and have him empathizes with you and grow with you.
Start your day with a pray of thanksgiving: wife, kids, church, job, home, car, good health, education, free time, Christ going to the cross for you, Gods word, Gods Love for you and the indwelling Holy Spirit.
The most difficult times in my life to draw close to God have been when things were really going well, I was being praised for doing so well, I felt really good about how I was doing, and started putting others and God/Jesus on the back burner. I did not need anything. A tragedy happens that I cannot control, solve my way out of and suddenly I drop to my knees. I realize I have been quenching the Spirit and operating on my own.
Get involved in other peoples lives and your issues will seem so much less.