How Can You Tell Whether or Not You're Cut Out for Youth Ministry?

Oct 16, 2016
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It's me again, the 18 year old youth leader who never has any idea what she's doing.

I've had a lot of failures but last night was my lowest moment. We had a group prayer with the students, and I grew anxious and began trembling, stuttered a prayer that was just a mess of ideas and ended in an unfinished sentence. Our students are extremely passionate about Christ and are used to corporate prayer, so my fumble is even more unacceptable. When a discussion question was asked, I failed to take the opportunity to enlighten them with the words I knew God had given me. The small group turned into a surprise party and my social anxiety kicked in, I haven't been to a party in years. I scanned the room for opportunities to connect with and love on the kids just like the youth pastor, but I had absolutely no idea what to do and ended up shutting down. When I got home I cried until I fell asleep, which I've been doing a lot of lately because of how badly I want to be good enough.

I'm a failure at the thing that is most important to me. I've started to pray, and study, and listen, hoping I'll grow but it's like I only get worse the harder I try. I was only hired because I'm known for saying "deep" things, but lately it's like I can't access it when I need it, or say it properly when I do, let alone meet their expectations. I'm a socially awkward homeschooler, so I miss many cues and opportunities for connection, and lack experiences that an adult should know like how to lead a team across an Atlanta street, or how to order for a group at McDonald's. And, as you can tell, my public prayers are a disaster, which causes me to panic when it comes to praying for people. Even my worship can become forced and uncomfortable sometimes, especially if there's a lot of people around. Something doesn't feel right about leaving, but I can't tell whether things will get better if I try harder/trust God, or if things will only get worse from here until they finally just fire me. Any advice would be helpful.
 
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God is good

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It's me again, the 18 year old youth leader who never has any idea what she's doing.

I've had a lot of failures but last night was my lowest moment. We had a group prayer with the students, and I grew anxious and began trembling, stuttered a prayer that was just a mess of ideas and ended in an unfinished sentence. When a discussion question was asked, I failed to take the opportunity to enlighten them with the words I knew God had given me. The small group turned into a surprise party and my social anxiety kicked in, I haven't been to a party in years. I scanned the room for opportunities to connect with and love on the kids just like the youth pastor, but I had absolutely no idea what to do and ended up shutting down. When I got home I cried until I fell asleep, which I've been doing a lot of lately because of how badly I want to be good enough.

I'm a failure at the thing that is most important to me. I've started to pray, and study, and listen, hoping I'll grow but it's like I only get worse the harder I try. I was only hired because I'm known for saying "deep" things, but lately it's like I can't access it when I need it, or say it properly when I do, let alone meet their expectations. I'm a socially awkward homeschooler, so I miss many cues and opportunities for connection, and lack experiences that an adult should know like how to lead a team across an Atlanta street, or how to order for a group at McDonald's. And, as you can tell, my public prayers are a disaster, which causes me to panic when it comes to praying for people. Something doesn't feel right about leaving, but I can't tell whether things will get better if I try harder/trust God, or if things will only get worse from here until they finally just fire me. Any advice would be helpful.
Hi, my name is Zack and I'm a christian who also wants to be a pastor and I also struggle praying. I struggle praying by myself which is a little different than your situation but it's kind of similar. God loves you and His plans for all of us will happen and any advice I can give would be to try to focus on Jesus and to allow God to do His work through you. You are a blessing and may God bless you. Jesus is Lord
 
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Blessed Each Day

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It's me again, the 18 year old youth leader who never has any idea what she's doing.

I've had a lot of failures but last night was my lowest moment. We had a group prayer with the students, and I grew anxious and began trembling, stuttered a prayer that was just a mess of ideas and ended in an unfinished sentence. When a discussion question was asked, I failed to take the opportunity to enlighten them with the words I knew God had given me. The small group turned into a surprise party and my social anxiety kicked in, I haven't been to a party in years. I scanned the room for opportunities to connect with and love on the kids just like the youth pastor, but I had absolutely no idea what to do and ended up shutting down. When I got home I cried until I fell asleep, which I've been doing a lot of lately because of how badly I want to be good enough.

I'm a failure at the thing that is most important to me. I've started to pray, and study, and listen, hoping I'll grow but it's like I only get worse the harder I try. I was only hired because I'm known for saying "deep" things, but lately it's like I can't access it when I need it, or say it properly when I do, let alone meet their expectations. I'm a socially awkward homeschooler, so I miss many cues and opportunities for connection, and lack experiences that an adult should know like how to lead a team across an Atlanta street, or how to order for a group at McDonald's. And, as you can tell, my public prayers are a disaster, which causes me to panic when it comes to praying for people. Something doesn't feel right about leaving, but I can't tell whether things will get better if I try harder/trust God, or if things will only get worse from here until they finally just fire me. Any advice would be helpful.
First off, I'm sorry about your experience, that's rough for anybody. My advice is if this is something you want to do, especially if you feel God working through you, then keep trying! Very, very, very few people are good at public speaking, taking the lead when they start out in the position you're in (leader role); almost all of them needed practice (I'd confidently say 95%.) God challenges us, but it's how we respond and meet his challenges that reflect our acknowledgement of His purpose for us. Let that anxiety guide you, and help you train to be a better speaker/leader. Also, if they fire you, so what? That just means they missed out on someone with potential who will shine at the next leadership role! I pray that you realize the strength that God has given you, and continue to heed His word in using the anxiety to fuel your drive to conquer any obstacles in front of you, glorifying God in the process!
 
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Grace2022

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It's me again, the 18 year old youth leader who never has any idea what she's doing.

I've had a lot of failures but last night was my lowest moment. We had a group prayer with the students, and I grew anxious and began trembling, stuttered a prayer that was just a mess of ideas and ended in an unfinished sentence. Our students are extremely passionate about Christ and are used to corporate prayer, so my fumble is even more unacceptable. When a discussion question was asked, I failed to take the opportunity to enlighten them with the words I knew God had given me. The small group turned into a surprise party and my social anxiety kicked in, I haven't been to a party in years. I scanned the room for opportunities to connect with and love on the kids just like the youth pastor, but I had absolutely no idea what to do and ended up shutting down. When I got home I cried until I fell asleep, which I've been doing a lot of lately because of how badly I want to be good enough.

I'm a failure at the thing that is most important to me. I've started to pray, and study, and listen, hoping I'll grow but it's like I only get worse the harder I try. I was only hired because I'm known for saying "deep" things, but lately it's like I can't access it when I need it, or say it properly when I do, let alone meet their expectations. I'm a socially awkward homeschooler, so I miss many cues and opportunities for connection, and lack experiences that an adult should know like how to lead a team across an Atlanta street, or how to order for a group at McDonald's. And, as you can tell, my public prayers are a disaster, which causes me to panic when it comes to praying for people. Even my worship can become forced and uncomfortable sometimes, especially if there's a lot of people around. Something doesn't feel right about leaving, but I can't tell whether things will get better if I try harder/trust God, or if things will only get worse from here until they finally just fire me. Any advice would be helpful.


Hi
keep calm, you are cut out for this. God has put you right where you are needed. Firstly, pray for guidance on everything.
Secondly, talk to someone in authority, tell them you are struggling and in need of real help. You need someone experienced to work alongside you until you feel confident.

Thirdly, in social situations there is one thing only that really works. Be interested in each child and ask them questions. Get them to talk about what matters to them. Be a good listener, it is vital.
You will be fine, you just need a bit of help but your heart is right. Xx
 
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Gregory Thompson

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It's me again, the 18 year old youth leader who never has any idea what she's doing.

I've had a lot of failures but last night was my lowest moment. We had a group prayer with the students, and I grew anxious and began trembling, stuttered a prayer that was just a mess of ideas and ended in an unfinished sentence. Our students are extremely passionate about Christ and are used to corporate prayer, so my fumble is even more unacceptable. When a discussion question was asked, I failed to take the opportunity to enlighten them with the words I knew God had given me. The small group turned into a surprise party and my social anxiety kicked in, I haven't been to a party in years. I scanned the room for opportunities to connect with and love on the kids just like the youth pastor, but I had absolutely no idea what to do and ended up shutting down. When I got home I cried until I fell asleep, which I've been doing a lot of lately because of how badly I want to be good enough.

I'm a failure at the thing that is most important to me. I've started to pray, and study, and listen, hoping I'll grow but it's like I only get worse the harder I try. I was only hired because I'm known for saying "deep" things, but lately it's like I can't access it when I need it, or say it properly when I do, let alone meet their expectations. I'm a socially awkward homeschooler, so I miss many cues and opportunities for connection, and lack experiences that an adult should know like how to lead a team across an Atlanta street, or how to order for a group at McDonald's. And, as you can tell, my public prayers are a disaster, which causes me to panic when it comes to praying for people. Even my worship can become forced and uncomfortable sometimes, especially if there's a lot of people around. Something doesn't feel right about leaving, but I can't tell whether things will get better if I try harder/trust God, or if things will only get worse from here until they finally just fire me. Any advice would be helpful.
The rhythm things work in the kingdom of God is a rhythm of trust, trust is another word for faith. As we trust God the stuff we do with him comes out naturally, when we try too hard then we end up doing it ourselves and feel this incredible burden.
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Being someone who says "deep" things and lacks social graces, I know it takes some time to cultivate the instinct to pray and trust God instead of worrying and reacting with anxiety as outlined in Philippians 4:4-9.
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This is the hard part, think of it an opportunity. God takes our weaknesses and turns them into strength, (2 Corinthians 12:9-10) the world teaches us to freak out when we see weakness, but God teaches us to trust him and turns what used to be weakness into one of our greatest strengths. Take a breath, and trust him, one step at a time.
 
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NurseAbigail

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It's me again, the 18 year old youth leader who never has any idea what she's doing.

I've had a lot of failures but last night was my lowest moment. We had a group prayer with the students, and I grew anxious and began trembling, stuttered a prayer that was just a mess of ideas and ended in an unfinished sentence. Our students are extremely passionate about Christ and are used to corporate prayer, so my fumble is even more unacceptable. When a discussion question was asked, I failed to take the opportunity to enlighten them with the words I knew God had given me. The small group turned into a surprise party and my social anxiety kicked in, I haven't been to a party in years. I scanned the room for opportunities to connect with and love on the kids just like the youth pastor, but I had absolutely no idea what to do and ended up shutting down. When I got home I cried until I fell asleep, which I've been doing a lot of lately because of how badly I want to be good enough.

I'm a failure at the thing that is most important to me. I've started to pray, and study, and listen, hoping I'll grow but it's like I only get worse the harder I try. I was only hired because I'm known for saying "deep" things, but lately it's like I can't access it when I need it, or say it properly when I do, let alone meet their expectations. I'm a socially awkward homeschooler, so I miss many cues and opportunities for connection, and lack experiences that an adult should know like how to lead a team across an Atlanta street, or how to order for a group at McDonald's. And, as you can tell, my public prayers are a disaster, which causes me to panic when it comes to praying for people. Even my worship can become forced and uncomfortable sometimes, especially if there's a lot of people around. Something doesn't feel right about leaving, but I can't tell whether things will get better if I try harder/trust God, or if things will only get worse from here until they finally just fire me. Any advice would be helpful.

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You know, you have a lot of heart. God looks at the heart not the outward appearance. Seems like you are a shy person but long to be excellent in what you do. This causes you to feel panic because you want everything to turn out perfect, no stutter, no mistakes, and so everyone will be blessed. But God uses you even with your perceived weakness. He created you to have that creative mind and that passionate spirit to serve. Do not be too hard on yourself, what you are doing is challenging, leading a group, speaking in public, these things are difficult, for some it takes years of practice to get the right words out. I was homeschooled too and I know how you feel about being socially awkward. Lol I'm still socially awkward until now, but you know what, I embraced it and just be myself. If there was something I didn't understand, I learned to ask questions and to be honest. It takes time, but you can do it, be yourself, and you will be surprised that people are actually nice and not judgmental. You are greatly loved by God, and your personality is unique, there is no one in the world like you. I just want to encourage you to keep your eyes on Jesus and not on the things you don't know how to do, focus on the things you do know and be humble to learn new things. <3
 
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faroukfarouk

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You know, you have a lot of heart. God looks at the heart not the outward appearance.
...I was homeschooled too and I know how you feel about being socially awkward. Lol I'm still socially awkward until now, but you know what, I embraced it and just be myself.
It's a matter of confidence, right? If you love God's Word, this will come.
 
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