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How can you love someone if you dont like them?

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by sekir, Oct 13, 2010.

  1. sekir

    sekir Senior Veteran

    Okay..I am not sure whether that question is right..It is like this...

    There are times in life when you come across people whose actions you cant agree to or accept..who repeatedly put you down,who repeatedly harm you ..

    You can pray for them and not hate them

    But you dont like them ...I mean these are the kind of people you wont trust ,or be friends with....Is this possible with Christians

    Is it right for us to do this ..I mean is this Christ like ..

    I am in such a situation.I am careful making friends -I definitely cant like everyone -there are certain things about certain people that I don't like and I disagree to -I know I am not perfect either....but I am nice to them and infact I am also friendly and helpful to them..even though they have harmed me ...

    One of my friends was telling me -that is unChrist like if we don't like people...if we are not very friendly..that maybe true in my case -cause I am not very cheerful with people-I really do keep a distance -especially from people who spread gossip,who tell lies in office....my friend tells me that I look so un Christlike and mean...

    Do you think I should change ...again I would like to point out I am courteous and helpful when the situation comes -not thar friendly..and love is definitely not bubbling inside of me..though I do pray for their welfare...

    How can I change??

    All advice and point welcome
  2. FallenPaladin

    FallenPaladin Active Member

    It goes back to Jesus' example for us. He was beaten and killed by people who he never spoke against. He actually spoke to God in their defense.
  3. Emmy

    Emmy Senior Veteran

    Salvation Army
    Dear sekir. To be kind and helpful and courteous, is a good step towards loving people. Jesus told us to love them as we love ourselves. Some people are more serious-looking than others, and when your friend asks you to be more friendly/loving to everybody, and you already are well on the way, I wonder if he perhaps means you to smile more? In 1) Corinthians, chapter 13, verses 4-8, Paul explains "love" more down to earth, easily understood, to love is also a verb, doing-word more than a feeling. I say this with love, sekir. Greetings from Emmy, your sister in Christ. P.S. praying for others is also showing love.
  4. blessedmomof5

    blessedmomof5 Contributor

    United States
    Hi Emmy,
    Yeah thats a hard dilemma, but may i ask, it says in the verse"To Love them as we "love ourselves", now i am not saying this is for you, but How much do you love yourself? i do know that is one of my "issues". How can you love someone when it is hard to love oneself? And remember we are NOT perfect.if we were , we would be Christ. Sometimes the adversary comes in and tries to confuse us, God is not the author of confusion.
    Just throwing this out there.
    In Christ

  5. Life2Christ

    Life2Christ Guest

    Love is stronger than Like. If you're waiting for someone to be acceptable to you so that you could like them you will be waiting forever. Love, on the other hand, means that you can skip over the "like" part and do something magnificent for them in Jesus' name.
  6. Emmy

    Emmy Senior Veteran

    Salvation Army
    Dear blessedmomof5. Here again, it is so wonderful to know that God can see our thoughts and wishes. God loves us, and would never condemn any one of us for not doing, as they should, if we are unable to, for some reason or another. God will help and provide, but God wants us to be involved, and if we love others as we love ourselves, we can pray and Jesus will intercede and like the Good Shepherd He is, He will make sure that all His sheep are saved. God wants our love, blessedmom, but freely given, and God knows what we are capable of. Sadly there are people who do not know love, but Love comes from God and God is LOVE. Only God`s Adversary abhors and flees from Love. I say this humbly and with love. Greetings from Emmy, your sister in Christ.
  7. gfletcherd

    gfletcherd Prayer Warrior

    In my opinion, I think you can love a person and not like there ways. For example, I love you jane doe, but i don't like the way you......... Christians are suppose to love there enemies right?

    If your enemy came up to you and said they was hungry and you had the food to feed them, would you feed them? Think about it.
  8. Peripatetic

    Peripatetic Restless mind, peaceful soul.

    I just posted this in another thread:

    It's not a sin to dislike someone, but it is a sin to not love him or her. This can be a very difficult concept to understand without a deeper understanding of the different types of love. The world's view of love has a lot more to do with like and attraction. The love that we need to show is more about respecting, acknowledging the person as one of God's children, empathizing with their situation or point of view, and treating them with kindness as much as possible.
  9. EnVida Isaac

    EnVida Isaac Member

    Hrmph. I love everyone who hates me. And I hate to admit it, but I am manipulative. I often make my best friends hate me just so they will attack me. So they can be made stronger.

    Always keep an open mind. Consider God's viewpoint. Who is not a child of God.

    If you are high, consider this: Should anyone on the face of the planet be deprived of this right? If you are low, consider: should you not be as high as the highest.

    People play "favorites" with kids. But does God?

    I think... not really. Not in the end game. Maybe God hates an Esau and loves a Jacob... but in the end? God makes a Jacob an Esau and an Esau a Jacob.

    God is not short sighted. People are.

    Because they are shorter then God. So God has to talk down to them.

    I keep to myself a lot, but that is not because I do not love everyone equally. Loud and brash, quiet and simple... vive la difference.