How can I support my friends?

[Lozza]

Three of my friends self-harm...
I don't know how I can support them? One of them started a couple of weeks ago and is really getting into it.

She said some more serious stuff this afternoon...
One of them belongs to these forums, so I can't really say much...Though I don't see it's doing any harm, seeing as you don't know me or her and vice versa
Thank you and God bless, please tell me how to support these friends if you can
-Lozza

 

[luv4godremains]

make it clear (but don't be all cleched and be like "I'm hear to talk if ya wanna" type thing) just by giving them hugs when ya see them and asking how they're doing that they can talk to you, maybe you need to "inform" a youth pastor of what's going on, I duno, but, SI can really harm in the long run, and it's really hard to stop, and it's not as though it can't be damaging in the short term too! they need to know that they do have someone they can talk to, whether it's you, pastor, councellor or another friend!

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Just love them.

www.gothpunk.org

there is a link to a self-injury site called ugly girl. check it out.

 

[penguin]

Right now the best thing you can do is just be there for them. Dont give advice unless you know what you give will be of help. The fact you care says a lot about you. Some advice I will give which i dont think will be of harm to pass on is suggesting they try a less distuctive method of using an elastic band - instead of a cutting implement. It is less distructive though has the same effect. Dont let their problems though become too much for you to cope with. Is there anyone they could talk to who may be able to give more advice. Regarding the more serious stuff what ever it may be, it may be that she needs more support than you can give. A counciller maybe. You are 13 years old. The problems your friends have will probably more than you should or are able to be coping with. Show you care just by being the friend you are and perhaps suggest that they speak to someone they trust , Do you have councillers at school. Or if they go to church is there an adult that they could speak to. It can be hard for you young people to talk to your parents about things like this. I didnt speak to my parents when I was your age about personal stuff. Or maybe your friends would be able to speak to their parents. Everyone is different Could you talk to your parents, perhaps you dont need to give names but I am concerned that as much as you want to be there for you friends. I dont want you to become burdened. Let us know how you get on
God Bless
Kyla

 

[Lozza]

Thanks for your help everyone

 

[daughteroftheking1983]

Don't be afraid to ask them how they are doing as they may want to talk but aren't sure if people want to listen. They may be afraid of burdening you with their problems. Make sure that you have someone who you can turn to for support as I am sure it can be a bit overwhelming for you too. Be encouraged though as you are obviously a caring and supportive friend!