How can I know the difference between a test and a curse?

[2PhiloVoid]

I know about the US. But what I'm dealing with, I've dealt with since 2008. There has been no stability, and I cannot run my life on this "now it is, now it isn't" situation. And, to make things worse. Everyone I know, is capable of finding work, stable work, have no problems with (they have other problems, but not work-related).

Can the folks whom you know perhaps give you an assist into their own places of employment?

 

[chevyontheriver]

But if it's a test, prayer won't work. God wants to see how you react/what you will do.

Are we talking past each other here?

 

[prudent_commenter]

Can the folks whom you know perhaps give you an assist into their own places of employment?

I can't explain it. All their advice works for them, but not for me.

But this isn't just referring to this situation. All my life, taking advice from others, have never worked for me. I have no idea why. I either had to figure it out on my own, or I would be chasing my own tail, following others.
If it's a test, i was let to figure it out. I can't, so.. it feels like a loop. If it's curse, then I have a lot of confusion (because I try things, none of work, and repeat, because I don't know what else to do).

It is very bad because while this instability exists, I am extremely useless to God, and useless to everyone else. You can't do anything, and you can't build anything.

I like to believe it is neither. But, instability leads to ruin and potentially death if you keep going at it long enough. This has been going on since 2008, and it's been so long I've been accustomed to the bottom, and lost even hope. It could be anything but I don't understand. It may not be me, may be a generational curse, something from my ancestors. I don't think it's on my side because I have kept the commandments, and the life lived is that of a monk. It's not even close to what those around me, and those known..

 

[prudent_commenter]

Are we talking past each other here?

I think it's related.

The test only stops when I fail. If I don't fail, it keeps on repeating, and changes its parameters (Such that it is similar, but not the same). I don't know what this is, I never encountered such a thing in my life. These tests seem to have the objective of ruin, of humiliation, discouragement.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

I can't explain it. All their advice works for them, but not for me.

But this isn't just referring to this situation. All my life, taking advice from others, have never worked for me. I have no idea why. I either had to figure it out on my own, or I would be chasing my own tail, following others.
If it's a test, i was let to figure it out. I can't, so.. it feels like a loop. If it's curse, then I have a lot of confusion (because I try things, none of work, and repeat, because I don't know what else to do).

It is very bad because while this instability exists, I am extremely useless to God, and useless to everyone else. You can't do anything, and you can't build anything.

I like to believe it is neither. But, instability leads to ruin and potentially death if you keep going at it long enough. This has been going on since 2008, and it's been so long I've been accustomed to the bottom, and lost even hope. It could be anything but I don't understand. It may not be me, may be a generational curse, something from my ancestors. I don't think it's on my side because I have kept the commandments, and the life lived is that of a monk. It's not even close to what those around me, and those known..

Well, maybe get a job in some sort of bi-lingual occupation? You seem to speak English better than I do.

 

[prudent_commenter]

Well, maybe get a job in some sort of bi-lingual occupation? You seem to speak English better than I do.

I get rejections everywhere I apply. Whether it is my field or some other, it's the same thing. This is disappointing because I'm a workaholic. Either I work for others (as an employee), or I work for myself, but work is done at all times. When I say work for myself, I mean study.

I'm good a lot of things. And have been blessed with several things (manifestations and the fruit of the Spirit) but can't put any of them to any use since I can't find anything to use it. This is what mystifies me: all these gifts, paired with a denial of opportunity? What is the point?

 

[GTW27]

I get rejections everywhere I apply. Whether it is my field or some other, it's the same thing. This is disappointing because I'm a workaholic. Either I work for others (as an employee), or I work for myself, but work is done at all times. When I say work for myself, I mean study.

I'm good a lot of things. And have been blessed with several things (manifestations and the fruit of the Spirit) but can't put any of them to any use since I can't find anything to use it. This is what mystifies me: all these gifts, paired with a denial of opportunity? What is the point?

Blessings prudent-commenter. Whom does The Lord say you are. Does He say you are the head, or the tail? What are His promises to you. Take these things and speak them out loud. When we speak out loud The Lord always hears us and the enemy may hear it if he has one close to us at the time. There is Power in the tongue. Power unto life and Power unto death. The Lord had me to work in a nothing job for many years. He and I worked together through all of this. "They hated Him without a cause" I went through that. You can walk in the fruit of The Spirit and even in The Spirit and they will secretly hold you back. Jesus said that if they hated Me that they will hate you also. You should put your priorities in walking with The Lord and developing that relationship first and He will make everything work out for you. If you truly are born from above then any generational curse is broken for you the moment He enters in. Been there, done that, been held back, but being able to be content in all situations, knowing the Lord is right there with you, is what is important. For me knowing His words can leave my lips at any time He chooses was amazing while being held back and held down. Hopes this helps you.

 

[chevyontheriver]

I think it's related.

The test only stops when I fail. If I don't fail, it keeps on repeating, and changes its parameters (Such that it is similar, but not the same). I don't know what this is, I never encountered such a thing in my life. These tests seem to have the objective of ruin, of humiliation, discouragement.

So you feel set up to fail and be humiliated?

 

[Sacred.Beautiful.]

I think sometimes God allows us to come to the point of desperation to show us that He is what we really need. I think He wants us to depend on Him.

 

[prudent_commenter]

Whom does The Lord say you are. Does He say you are the head, or the tail? What are His promises to you. Take these things and speak them out loud. When we speak out loud The Lord always hears us and the enemy may hear it if he has one close to us at the time. There is Power in the tongue. Power unto life and Power unto death.

I came to that realization recently. Whenever I talk to God in my mind, God doesn't hear me. However, He does when I speak the words out loud.

There was this thing that happened to me last year.

(For context, I've lived a life dedicated to The Lord my entire life since I can remember. Even though, no one in my vicinity was highly religious, yet I've done things which I had no idea, but they were natural to me, as if I already knew them. For example, anything evil described in the bible, I feel it. I get bad feelings whenever I think, or when I attempt to do them. Because of this, this life could have been lived as such. I didn't know, but was guided towards it. And we're talking about purity, soberness, vigilance, asceticism, knowledge, wisdom, and an absence of lusts.)

In my desperation, seeing that there are no opportunities, and time just slips away, I asked God a question. One night, before bed, I spoke out loud: Is there a point to all this (i.e. this life) ?

And, that night I dreamt of God, speaking to me: "I promised you, and YOU... you keep your word."
He either used the word word or promise. I don't remember.

The thing is, I don't what I promised Him. And I have no idea what He promised me. From my (limited) understanding of the Bible, His promise is eternal life. But I don't really of that right now. I'm in my thirties, I don't think, that is the promise. It has to be something else.

I often speak top Him out loud, but He doesn't answer. That dream was one of the few instances He talked to me.

The Lord had me to work in a nothing job for many years. He and I worked together through all of this. "They hated Him without a cause" I went through that.

I went through similar. People I loved, respected, and would've done anything for them, hated and betrayed me without cause. And all of a sudden, with no reason at all. Some from my family, others were people I've known.

You can walk in the fruit of The Spirit and even in The Spirit and they will secretly hold you back. Jesus said that if they hated Me that they will hate you also.

It's already happening. Happened for a long time. But this is supposed to make you stronger, and make you pass though somehow. I'm dealing with things in which I am held back, but I have nothing to break through. It's like you are in the middle of the ocean, and you drown.

You should put your priorities in walking with The Lord and developing that relationship first and He will make everything work out for you. If you truly are born from above then any generational curse is broken for you the moment He enters in. Been there, done that, been held back, but being able to be content in all situations, knowing the Lord is right there with you, is what is important. For me knowing His words can leave my lips at any time He chooses was amazing while being held back and held down. Hopes this helps you.

The Lord has always been with me. Through my dreams, I always receive warnings of things that can occur, and is in my power to change. Every major event I was told of in my dreams. Plus it's this intuition. Whenever do not know what to do, in the last moment, an idea comes that solves everything. Almost as if.. God doesn't let me fall.

 

[prudent_commenter]

I think sometimes God allows us to come to the point of desperation to show us that He is what we really need. I think He wants us to depend on Him.

I fear you are right. But I don't how to do that.

If I don't know how, will he let me die because of it?

 

[Sacred.Beautiful.]

I fear you are right. But I don't how to do that.

If I don't know how, will he let me die because of it?

No, you said it yourself: "God doesn't let me fall."

Dependence on God is all about trusting Him. God sacrificed His only Son for us, so I think it's fair to assume He will stop at nothing to bring us into eternal life with Him.

Have you taken this to Him in prayer? That would be my suggestion, to just come before Him with an open heart, not looking for answers necessarily but just to know Him. I think God may want to refine you before He uses you and your gifts. It may be that you are being tested. Be patient, before God uses someone greatly, He tests them deeply.