Hi JCMJ,
Well, let's start from the beginning. Do you believe that being a part of the SDA is the only way of salvation? If so, then you have to get him to go to worship with you. If not, then why don't you show him how important it is to you by switching to a Sunday worship service so that the two of you can go together. If he hasn't been a regular worship attender then it will all be strange and different to him and he may well be experiencing some anxiety about going alone. Personally I would have never considered sending my child to worship service, certainly in the beginning, without me going.
The other question that immediately comes to my mind is how a son gets to be 12 years old and doesn't feel the need to be in worship if that's the way he was raised. If it wasn't the way he was raised then why do you expect him to go now, just because you're suddenly a believer? So, the best way, I think to get him 'into' worship is to go with him. Make it an important part of your life with him.
When my son was 6 I sat on the side of his bed at night and instead of reading Little Red Riding Hood we read through the proverbs. All I can say is that God has blessed that beyond any measure that I could ever have expected. He's bright, obedient and being contemplated by some very good colleges because of his exceptional grades and quite frankly, other than reading the proverbs and raising him to know the Lord, I've done nothing to cause this kind of outcome in him.
I never chided him to do his homework. He's just always done it. He's 18 now and has had a couple of girlfriends, but we've talked often about his remaining chaste until marriage and I asked him just the other day if we were still on that track and he said yes. He's respectful and, I think, although I'm sure I'm biased, a very good son. He's had his driver's license for 3 years now and has had pretty much free use of the car anytime he wants and still hasn't gotten his first traffic citation. He's just a pretty good kid and all I did was raise him to know the Lord. I have never had to discipline him beyond just saying that I didn't think something was a good idea.
When he was small, oh 3-6, and he'd get into trouble, say backtalking or some petty problem I'd send him to his room for a 10 minute time out. Then when the 10 minutes was done, I'd be very careful about the time, I'd go in and sit on the bed with him and tell him how very much I loved him and wanted only the best for him and did he think that what he had done honored God? We'd talk for a bit and then be off on some other topic and nothing was ever said again, but neither was the behavoir ever repeated. I probably didn't do this more than 3-4 times in his young life.
If it's really that important to you that he know the Lord, and I think it should be, I wouldn't go on just his admission that he loves Jesus, if you don't see any fruit of that love. Only you can judge that. The Scriptures admonish a parent to raise a child up in the way that he should go. Now, I don't think God was talking so much about doing homework or many of the things that we expect of children today, but about raising them to know Him. Really know Him! All I know is that I sit today and think it's a miracle how my son turned out, especially when I listen to all the 'problems' that parents are having today and all I did was raise him up to know the Lord. And when I look around my fellowship at all the youth who seem level headed and responsible, they all have a strong faith already established in the Lord also.
God bless you and you'd better hurry. He's getting to the age where making changes in behaviour can be daunting.
In Christ, Ted
