How aspergers makes it difficult to be a christian

[drag3049]

Hello,

With all my heart I have to tell you, please keep up your faith in God. I have struggled my whole life thinking something was wrong with me and not knowing what it was. Through lots of research I have realized that it is possible I may have a mild case of ADD/Aspergers myself. The truth is, you don't grow out of it, it is how you are made. You can learn to live with it and work with it and you can find yourself doing quite well. You just have to have patience with yourself. How the realization happened that I may have it myself is because of a relationship my daughter has with an Aspi guy and the relationship has been very difficult. When she can not understand him at all, I understand him completely. We have tried to be good examples to him and have been praying for him. It took me many years to finally realize that the only thing that truly keeps me together is knowing and believing that Jesus is my savior and will never fail me. Yes, people will, but He never does and His love and mercy are endless. I also had to realize, it's not the people around me but my actual relationship with Him. There are times when my heart is so filled with love for Him and it spills out to others that are in need. I especially love those that struggle with the issues I have and my daughter has. I can't even imagine the Lord not being the center of my life ever again. I would be so lost and I don't want to go there ever again. Through prayer, He has given me compassion and empathy that I never had for people. Faith and prayer can bring about miracles, even with people that are made a little different, actually, Especially with people that are different and people that have been broken. In the bible He tells us "I will make the weak strong and the strong weak". That is the truth. Jesus can fill the emptiness, that black hole that never seems to go away, if only we let Him. If you truly trust Him and give Him your heart. I am praying for my daughter now and this guy who we are pretty sure has aspergers. I witnessed a miracle and he came to church with our family one Sunday out of the blue and I am praying we will see him there again. Prayer is the answer. I know it is because of what my daughter and I witnessed. We have both been praying for him and we know that God heard our prayers. Prayers aren't always answered over night, but if you have faith, you can see amazing things happen in your life.
God Bless You, Dianne

Thanks for the encouragement. I have been doing a lot better from the past few weeks. I just need to look more at what i do have instead of what i don't have. Yes, he has been good to me, even when i havent been the same. That is an amazing God there.

 

[Holly's_Dream]

Im really interested to hear how things are going for you guys.
I kind of feel like im at the stage you were at the start of this thread of feeling just completely disillusioned with church, fellowship, and my relationship with God.
The people in my church who i feel able to talk to about it dont seem to understand that my head works differently to everyone elses, so i interpret and 'feel' God in different ways that i often cant discern compared to the ways other people do, which makes their attempts at guidance quite problematic!

 

[dayhiker]

Ya. Holly we do have a feeling that we are on our own at times because of others not getting us. I've gone to home group meeting after home meeting where we talked about our Christian thoughts over the last week. Mine almost never lined up with what others were thinking about.

Remember, Jesus is the reason to go on.

 

[SteveNZ]

Im really interested to hear how things are going for you guys...............etc
The people in my church who i feel able to talk to about it dont seem to understand that my head works differently to everyone elses, so i interpret and 'feel' God in different ways that i often cant discern compared to the ways other people do, which makes their attempts at guidance quite problematic!

Hi Holly,
I pray things will go well with you.

I agree so much with Dayhiker. You need to fellowship to belong. And please remember that you really are needed by your fellowship with your gifts. No one else can share what you can share.

I can tell you part of the problem. You pray and interact with your loving Father, who can speak and understand you better than anyone. And you are also interacting with folk who interact differently with God (in exactly the same topics) but cannot be near as understanding with you.

Now - They likely do not realise that God speaks your lingo. So for yourself it would seem they are not much help. BUT - you can then take the wisdom shared and let God do the translating for you.

I like these scriptures........

Joh 16:13 However when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but what ever he shall hear (from God), that shall he speak: and he will show you things to come.
14He shall glorify me: for he shall receive of mine, and shall show it to you.
15All things that the Father hath are mine: therefore said I, that he shall take of mine, and shall show it to you.

The Holy Spirit will teach and guide you, in the understanding suitable for yourself.

I am sorry if it seems a lonely walk. The real understanding is that it is a different walk that unless understood makes you feel alone.

But you are not alone.

I pray that you will find the niche God has prepared for you. And that you will have the friendship and companionship to let you laugh and have joy as Christians should together. - AMEN

Give life heaps.

 

[sockless74]

Hi, I am new to this forum, in fact this is my first post. I have been a Christian since I was 6 years old, I am 34 now. For the past year since I learned what AS was I suspected that I had it. I have known for a long time that things were not entirely "normal" with me and now that I know about AS I at least know what is different about me, but it is really hard for me to accept, I haven't even mentioned it to my wife.

I totally understand what people here are saying about not being able to socialize. I am fine in a Bible study, small group or even a men's accountability group. Topics are always centered around God's word. It is easy for me to participate in those conversations. But prior to the class and afterwards I have a very hard time talking with people. If someone greets me I have nothing more to say than "Hello, how are you?" Some times people just kind of look at me like they are expecting me to say more and I have nothing else to say. So fellowship for me is really hard. I have no one that I really even consider a friend. I would like deeper relationships with people, but have no idea how to get there.

This also effects my relationship with God. I fully understand that I am a sinner, totally unable to save myself though anything I do myself. Only through the death, burial and Resurrection of Jesus were my sins were paid for and only by placing my trust in Him is provided salvation to me. I am confident that I am saved. I always confess my sins to remain in constant fellowship with God. But when I pray I have nothing to say except for the same old list of stuff I always pray for. I don't have flowery words to use when praying, it is all concrete and to the point. I almost always am repeating the same prayers over and over because I can't think of anything better to pray. I know that this doesn't matter to God, that He accepts my pray for what it is, but for me it becomes very repetitive and it feels like I am praying just because I am supposed to. That isn't why I pray. I pray because I want a deeper relationship with God. Sure I understand Him more and more as I study His word, but I don't feel like I am growing closer to Him.

I also find that I am very uncompassionate. There are many people in my church with needs. I don't have the time, money or abilities to meet their needs, but I should have some form of compassion for them and I find it very hard to have compassion. Really I don't have any emotions most of the time except for the occasional outbursts of anger. I feel like a robot. The only time I have actually been happy about anything for many years was a month ago when my daughter prayed to accept Jesus as her savior, I was so happy I cried and that has never happened to me before. I wish I had real emotions. I wish I could be one of those people in the worship service that is so moved by the songs about Jesus saving me that I cried or just had to raise my hands in praise.

I know that this is the way God made me, but I don't like it. There are other struggles that I didn't even list here. I wish I could wake up tomorrow and be "normal", even if it was just for a few days.

 

[Sabertooth]

Sockless,

I have previously posted some verses about this at http://www.christianforums.com/t7213531-2/#post47756828

 

[Netbug009]

My issues don't evolve around my relationship with God. I am rather firm in my faith and relationship. My problems revolve around the chruch.

Fellowship. The church is essentially about fellowship. the word church itself is from the greek word ecclesia, which basically means a community of believers. No matter how hard I try I can't find a spot in the community. I don't really go to church anymore. The usual is I walk in, sit down, listen to the service and leave. Not a single person will even say hi to me. Except the usher at the door, but thats his job. If thats church then I can listen to the recorded pod cast at home.

This. My church had a serious mental health stigma. I never had anybody try to understand my autism, and when I fell out due to depression nobody bothered to check up on me, even though they were brag-ful about going to the hospital when somebody was physically ill.

 

[jackmt]

I think I had a better relationship with God before I was saved. No, not better, easier. I went to God to escape my painful reality and He was a comfort, a friend. Now He is my Father, and He requires things of me He didn't when He was merely my friend. This reality is harder.

 

[drag3049]

First of all, we don't serve God out of obligation, we serve out of gratitude. yeah, he has saved us so that we can do good works, but were not obligated to do them. we are free to do them. and yeah, God is our father, but he is also our friend, and comforter. For a long time, I have been distressed about the security my own salvation. I desire and i cry out to him, that he may bring my heart peace and remove this fear I have had for so long.

 

[jackmt]

First of all, we don't serve God out of obligation, we serve out of gratitude. yeah, he has saved us so that we can do good works, but were not obligated to do them. we are free to do them. and yeah, God is our father, but he is also our friend, and comforter. For a long time, I have been distressed about the security my own salvation. I desire and i cry out to him, that he may bring my heart peace and remove this fear I have had for so long.

This idea that good deeds we do are "thank you"s for God's salvation is dangerous. It reminds me of the minister (I am not making this up, I heard him) who declared "Y'all need to get saved, and then get out there and do something for God." Nice thought, I suppose, but wrong nonetheless. I am guessing you believe in free will, for this is often the source of such errors. We are His workmanship, created in Christ to walk in (not do ) His works that He foreordained. God's purpose is to live His life in and through us; Christ in us, the hope of glory. It is God who at work in you both to will and to do, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace.
We are either slaves to sin or slaves to Christ. (Rom. 6:16 - 23). You are His, He purchased you with His blood. Strive to enter into His rest. It's all about Him. More Him, less me. Be about Him, and He will be about you.

 

[drag3049]

I agree that it is Christ is that one that does his work in and through us. and yes, i believe in free will. If we didnt have free will, then Adam and eve would never sinned and we would be God's robots. And yes, we can choose to turn away from him and refuse to allow God to work through us. He will call out for us to come back to him. as far as whether i believe you can loose your salvation when you turn away, i am not going to say. this topic is such a controversy, that it is not worth discussing. I am however concerned about the security of my salvation, which i have struggled with for many years, and i don't believe is illegitimate. maybe im misunderstanding what your trying to say, but it almost makes it sound like we become a bunch of "holy robots" when we receive Christ. yes, the holy spirit comes in and works on our hearts. yes, we still sin as Christians. if we were "holy robots", then we wouldn't sin. the holy spirit isn't going to let us sin if it controls us 100%, because God hates sin. however, since we still sin, then the holy spirit doesn't control us like robots.

Also, I dont believe that your relationship with God would become more painful when you accept him. sure we are promised difficulty and persecution, but you are in right standing with him when you became a slave of Christ. Therefore, how could we possibly have a better relationship with him (as a friend) when we didn't have any relationship with him at all before we were saved (except for separation because of our sin). Jesus is my friend, and i will call out to him as a friend, and i will ask him to help me in my struggle and grief.

 

[Sabertooth]

My view is a little controversial to some people. I believe that the Law remains the standard for salvation/holiness, BUT with three major differences:

1. After we are saved, the Law is written on our hearts; it becomes dear to us (as a personal ideal, Mic. 6:8). See Jer. 31:33, 1John 3:6
2. Before, when you broke the Law, that was it. You were forever condemned. Jesus made it so we could turn away from our sins and get right again, as long as we were so inclined (1John 1:9).
3. The Holy Spirit, as Paraclete, is there to convict us of sin just so we will get back into that right standing.

No one can lose their salvation, but we are quite capable of rejecting it as is demonstrated in the stony and thorny ground in Jesus' parable of the Sower and the Seed (Matt. 13:3-8) and in the Rich Young Ruler (Luke 18:18-25).

 

[John Yurich]

My issues don't evolve around my relationship with God. I am rather firm in my faith and relationship. My problems revolve around the chruch.

Fellowship. The church is essentially about fellowship. the word church itself is from the greek word ecclesia, which basically means a community of believers. No matter how hard I try I can't find a spot in the community. I don't really go to church anymore. The usual is I walk in, sit down, listen to the service and leave. Not a single person will even say hi to me. Except the usher at the door, but thats his job. If thats church then I can listen to the recorded pod cast at home.

Missions. Lack of social abilities or strangeness or something else once again comes into play. It has been more then once, where I saw them looking for volunteers in the sunday flyer. I raise my hand to volunteer. I never hear back and then a few weeks later, another looking for volunteers in the sunday flyer for the same thing. It's fine they don't want me, but quit whining you need more volunteers, i don't want to hear it.

Study groups. I have trouble with study groups. I still get select mutism when I get overtly anxious. So I can't always pray or share out loud. It takes me awhile to get comfortable and what comes to other peoples heads naturally may take me a day or two to work out. My EQ is very low (bottom 0.13 percentile) so it can take me awhile to process things. I have essentially been told if I can't partake fully the don't partake. While my EQ is low, my IQ is rather high, so I don't fit into special needs programs. I get more accomodations at work then I do at church.

When you put it all together, they really just want me to go to church silently, not talk to anyone and donate money. That being the case, they can take their own advice. If i can't partake fully, then I am not going to partake at all.

I know this sounds rough on the church, but sometimes the truth needs told.

It really is not necessary to spread the Gospel Of Jesus via verbal communication only. Spreading the Gospel can also be accomplished via discussion forums on the internet and by leaving Salvation Tracts at various locations around town.

 

[Sabertooth]

Hear, hear!

I have genre-specific tracts on five related hobby profiles.

 

[Mizuti]

For the most part, I can agree with what has been said. I have a hard time going to church (partially because of the transportation issue... I do not drive and there are no churches within walking distance of where I live) and an even harder time getting involved. This is part of the reason why I was so excited to find an online Christian forum. Being able to think of what I am saying before I type it (versus talking to someone face-to-face and having to pause every few words because my mouth doesn't synchronise with my brain very well) is much easier.

For the missions part, I haven't really gotten involved very much. The little bit that I have gotten involved was when I lived close enough to get to church on my own. I'd come early and help set up chairs and then most weeks, spend half the service going back and forth between the different rooms of the children's ministry. Crying toddlers are a lot easier to spend time around than adults who look at you kind of wierd.

I also have a really hard time praying aloud. My mind functions in complex ideas and fragments of words that I do not understand, not in English.

 

[John Yurich]

For the most part, I can agree with what has been said. I have a hard time going to church (partially because of the transportation issue... I do not drive and there are no churches within walking distance of where I live) and an even harder time getting involved. This is part of the reason why I was so excited to find an online Christian forum. Being able to think of what I am saying before I type it (versus talking to someone face-to-face and having to pause every few words because my mouth doesn't synchronise with my brain very well) is much easier.

For the missions part, I haven't really gotten involved very much. The little bit that I have gotten involved was when I lived close enough to get to church on my own. I'd come early and help set up chairs and then most weeks, spend half the service going back and forth between the different rooms of the children's ministry. Crying toddlers are a lot easier to spend time around than adults who look at you kind of wierd.

I also have a really hard time praying aloud. My mind functions in complex ideas and fragments of words that I do not understand, not in English.

Isn't there taxi service in the area that you reside in? If there is then why don't you take the taxi to church?

 

[jackmt]

I agree that it is Christ is that one that does his work in and through us. and yes, i believe in free will. If we didnt have free will, then Adam and eve would never sinned and we would be God's robots. And yes, we can choose to turn away from him and refuse to allow God to work through us. He will call out for us to come back to him. as far as whether i believe you can loose your salvation when you turn away, i am not going to say. this topic is such a controversy, that it is not worth discussing. I am however concerned about the security of my salvation, which i have struggled with for many years, and i don't believe is illegitimate. maybe im misunderstanding what your trying to say, but it almost makes it sound like we become a bunch of "holy robots" when we receive Christ. yes, the holy spirit comes in and works on our hearts. yes, we still sin as Christians. if we were "holy robots", then we wouldn't sin. the holy spirit isn't going to let us sin if it controls us 100%, because God hates sin. however, since we still sin, then the holy spirit doesn't control us like robots.

Also, I dont believe that your relationship with God would become more painful when you accept him. sure we are promised difficulty and persecution, but you are in right standing with him when you became a slave of Christ. Therefore, how could we possibly have a better relationship with him (as a friend) when we didn't have any relationship with him at all before we were saved (except for separation because of our sin). Jesus is my friend, and i will call out to him as a friend, and i will ask him to help me in my struggle and grief.

I notice that all of your reasoning is done outside of Scripture. I.e., man's reasoning. First define for me free will. Then show me anywhere in Scripture where it says we have it. It is a naive and spiritually dangerous idea. It is, again, I believe, the source of your difficulties. I will show you hundreds of places where it says we don't. But I don't think you can define it for me in a way that makes sense.
And I didn't say 'painful,' I said 'difficult.' I corrected 'better' and said 'easier.' When you misquote me and when you fail to cite Scripture, your reasoning fails. Please define free will before you answer anything else.

 

[drag3049]

Ok, what's your definition of free will? In obvious ways, I see free will the ability to make your own decisions and choose or not choose to involve God. If I have no free will, then I would have to be perfect. Since I'm not perfect, then I must have free will. Are you saying that you can have no free will and still sin? To me, that makes absolutely no sense, unless there's a definition I'm missing.

 

[jackmt]

Ok, what's your definition of free will? In obvious ways, I see free will the ability to make your own decisions and choose or not choose to involve God. If I have no free will, then I would have to be perfect. Since I'm not perfect, then I must have free will. Are you saying that you can have no free will and still sin? To me, that makes absolutely no sense, unless there's a definition I'm missing.

I have no definition of that which does not exist. The concept makes no sense to me. I have not believed in it since I was about 14. But I have had to modify my views on the matter several times when I got new information or new (to me) ideas arose. I always came down squarely on the determinism side of the issue. Though there were things on that side that bothered me, I could never reconcile myself to free will. Recently I have come to realize that free will/determinism is a false dichotomy; free will (as commonly understood) sets man on his throne negotiating with God, and determinism removes God from the picture entirely. We do not choose Christ, He chooses us. (Jn. 15:16) We either yield ourselves as slaves to our own passions, or we yield ourselves as slaves to Christ. (Rom.6:16-23 note vs 18) If the Son sets you free, you are free indeed.(Jn. 8:32-36) If our will is free, why do we need to be set free? But our freedom is only in Christ. There is will, there is freedom. Where is free will?
And once again, you appeal to your own reasoning, and never to Scripture as justification for your belief. Why?

 

[drag3049]

Are you suggesting that once we become Christians, we are perfect and sinless because of no free will?