Hot tempers

[Sharky]

Anyone here know someone with a hot temper? They lash out at computer games, go crazy at the slightest loss. They disrespect parents by being rebellious and all and never ever listen. My brother is just like that. Goes nuts at anything that doesn't go his own way. He won't listen to me or anyone but his friends. He never lets himself take any sacrafices choosing only to get others to sacrafice what they wanna do in order that he can mind his own business. I seriously want him to STOP! His attitude is growing worse by the weeks and i feel like i can't do a thing about it. I prayed to God to help him but my brother is so ignorant, so hard headed and so self centered he's too proud to take humility. He claims to be christian but when will he start acting like one?

I'm sure God knows what i'm talking about so i guess i can't judge my brother like that but this just ticks me off badly. I mean, he's a good guy in front of his friends and all. He's all saint, temper free, kind and generous but when it comes to his familiy, he doesn't care. Loves to hang around his friends more than us. I fear for his future and to fear that and at the same time unable to get through that hard skull of his is enough to make me start to get angry.

Any suggestions to help him?

 

[AnnMercy2]

Sharky, My biological father has a really bad temper. I myself didn't know what to do with it because I was at a young age. He was nerver abusive toward me or my brother or mom, but just seeing someone you love act like that was enough to scare me. All I can tell you is to really seek the Lord about it. The Lord shows us stuff that we can do that we mere humans could never think of. Anyways I'll be praying for you and your brother. I pray that God shows your brother the error of his ways and I pray the Lord will show you ways of dealing with it.

In Christ,
Anna

 

[ZiSunka]

He might be bipolar. The behavior you're describing sounds a lot like a couple bipolar friends of mine, before they started taking medication. Since they started the meds, no more outbursts.

However, it could be something else. Does he have some resentments against your family?

 

[Sharky]

No. He's not suffering from any disorders (as far as i know) which makes this worse because he chooses to be like this. He's a really good brother when he's not angry but the thing is he gets angry at the smallest things. Sometimes rebelious, blasphemy, ignorant and very Up on himself tossing away his family advice for out going friends and enjoyment of his pleasures. Our family isn't broken no thankfully but my dad does have some temper problems just like my brothers. I feel like i'm the only one acting calm cool and collected.

I think it's the influence he's been on you know. There's music videos showing 'big sexy' women there. Loud rock music with lyrics that emphasis rebellion, power. He's probably being influenced by such but i'm not gonna draw conclusions on that. That's fine with me when he watches that stuff or gets into it with his friends or how the whole world works but his temper is aggressive to advice and teachings.

I just pray that he will STOP acting like such a non christian and start looking to God. Everyday he's doing the exact opposite. I was once like that so I know what it felt like. I've tried talking to him, he won't listen to me. I'm still very very patient. I think i've been enduring this for 7 years. More or less.

 

Edit: Oh by the way he does have a tendancy to isolate himself from us by staying in his room alone listening to love songs or rock music etc. If he has a problem with me then i wouldn't know. He just never talks about it. It's getting to the point where he's beginning to rebel against my parents. I fear he might sink to such a point there's no way to get him back up. I guess only God knows what is in for him. I trust God knows what's in his mind.

 

[AnnMercy2]

Ya know Lambslove you may be right there. I forgot to mention that my dad was in and out of mental hospitals. The doctors said he has a chemical inbalance. I guess that would explain his temper and also he had a really bad childhood. I don't know why I would forget something like that. I guess I don't like thinking about it. Well, I really have some praying to do. This might sound crazy but I guess I really haven't forgiven myself or my dad. When he and my mom divorced he was really desperate not lose lose us kids like he lost my mom and he tried to turn both me and my brother against my mom. I can somewhat understand that but at the same time he was the adult and should not have done that. Okay, I admit it I still have issues, oh well sorry for getting of the subject, sometimes you have to ingnore me Anyways I just want to say one more thing.

Sharky, please don't make the same mistake I did and totally block your brother out of your life because of anger. To this day I regret doing this to my dad.

I'll be quiet now.

In Christ.
Anna

P.S. Why can't we have a smiley with some duct tape over the mouth, I sure could use that one

 

[ZiSunka]

He's not a Christian, then?

Is the rest of your family Christian? If they are, he might be isolating from you all and being mean because he feels guilty about the sinful things he does.

 

[Sharky]

Hey Ann.

I know how you feel. MY dad is sort of like that too but probably less. You know how they are, they're mostly 'i am always right' and will argue when someone tells them they're wrong.

A verse i remember said something like this:
"Be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger."

And because of my brain that never remembers verse numbers, i like to use it to show what God says about tempers. Garrh. I'm still learning...

 

[Sharky]

Hey lamb.

MY family isn't christian. I don't think they are atheists because they do believe in God. My brother is a christian but he's back slidden. And back slidden alot. And yes ann you're right, i shouldn't block myself from him. I've kept myself open so far but he's just not seeing that. Thanks for the advice and i'll be praying for you too

 

[ZiSunka]

If he's a backslidden Christian then his temper is his reaction to the holy Spirit convicting him of his sin. Just let the Spirit do the work and keep praying for him. Once he repents, he'll be okay.

 

[AnnMercy2]

Thanks I'll be praying for you too. I'd better go now, I've got to work tonight. Bye

Anna

 

[Jenna]

I dunno Sharky, it just sounds like selfishness to me. Some people are just so self-centered that they want everyone else's lives to revolve around them too, and become angry when things don't go as planned. I know alot about that, as I have one father and two sisters that are just like that. I just love (sarcasm. lol) how they can be good to their friends because they feel the need for their approval, but can treat family like scum. Sometimes I think that it has alot to do with the fact that there is no putting on of faces around your family, because someone who has watched you grow up from infancy already knows all of your ins and outs.

All I can really say is to keep up the prayers. I sure hope that the Lord works on his heart before some other person with a bigger temper works on his face, you know? It is kind of scary. In the meantime, do what siblings are really good at, butt into his business. lol The best way for a bad attitude to progress to non-communication is if people just begin to leave the person alone because they are cranky and anti-social toward their family. So, be there for him. Do stuff with him, even if you have to twist his arm. Talk to him even if he doesn't seem to want to listen. Just be around. It may take a while, but I bet he will at least get to the point where he will talk to you about his gooberish state.

God Bless You,
Jenna

 

[E-beth]

I moved the thread because I think it is better suited here and more people might see it to pray. 

My husband is diagnosed bipolar, and he also has had anger issues when he was undiagnosed. I didn't know him then, but he used to get so angry so quickly that he got in lots of fights and made lots of enemies and even more bad choices.  I am not saying that your brother has manic depression, but it certainly seems to me that he is suffering from more than a simple behavior problem.  If he gets violent to the point where you and your family are afraid of him, suggest to your parents that they get him some help. 

I admire your loving Christian attitude toward your brother.  I am sure God will be heaping the blessings on ya for showing the whole family Christ's unconditional love.

I am praying too, Sharky! 

 

[GraftMeIn]

I will be praying for him, and you also. I see you have gotten lots of good advice here, and can't think of much that I can add to it.

 

[JohnR7]

Your not a christian unless your a christian at home. The evidence of your christianity is in how you treat family and the ones we are to love. Even if family members are not saved, still we are to love the enemy. But there will be a seperated between family members who are saved and those who are not saved. The spirit and the flesh war against one another.

John 13:35
"By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."

Luke 14:26
If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.

>>There's music videos showing 'big sexy' women there. Loud rock music with lyrics that emphasis rebellion, power.

That is the problem there. They call that sort of person a carnal christian, but really if they are given over to this, they are not a christian at all. The Bible is clear that we can sow to the flesh and reap destruction or sow to the Spirit and reap eternal life. We have to go all the way with God and we can not compromise. We can not be a christian on Sunday and then follow the ways and the thinking of the world during the week. It just will not work. God wants ALL of us or NONE of us. WE are in or out, and there is no inbetween.

God is very patient, hoping, waiting for people to repent. But sooner or later He will require action on our part to show good faith that we are going to live for Him and not live to satisify the desires of our carnality. Those who do not repent can find themselves falling short of the grace of God, they open themselves up to sickness and they maybe digging themselves a early grave.

1 Cor. 11:30
For this reason many are weak and sick among you, and many sleep.

We must take on the divine nature of God and put in the Mind of Christ. We will be like minded and should be of one mind and one accord. We are to abide together in unity and harmony.

Ephes. 1:10
in the dispensation of the fullness of the times He might gather together in one all things in Christ, both which are in heaven and which are on earth--in Him.

Psalm 133:1 Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!

 

[psycmajor]

I will pray for your brother, Sharky.

You might want to walk up to him and just ask him if there's anything he wants to talk about. Or, you don't have to talk. Just spend some time together doing something that both of you enjoy.

I can have a very hot temper. I am bipolar, btw. It's really when there's something not working out, like, having a pen that's constantly skipping and running out of ink and I can't find any others. Or, if someone does something to irritate me (which could be many things! ). It's even worse when I'm under stress.

 

[Sharky]

Originally posted by JohnR7
Your not a christian unless your a christian at home.

Being in a christian home doesn't define whether i'm saved or not.

BTW everyone thanx for your prayers and advice. I wasn't intending this thread to be a prayer thread but i guess i merged into one . You're all awesome.

 

 

[JohnR7]

>>Being in a christian home doesn't define whether i'm saved or not.


John 13:35 "By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."

Acts 11:26c And the disciples were first called Christians in Antioch.

I did not say being in a christian home, I said acting like a christian at home. The evidence of our being a christian is our love toward our fellow christian. Our brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, mothers, fathers, in the Lord. Just because a fellow christian happens to also be a biological relation to us, does not mean we should be any less loving to them.

Read the book of Timothy and you will see that a mature christian has their family life in order. In fact if there home life does not properly reflect God's love, they are disqualified from being a pastor or a elder in the Church. They are just to immature.

Anyone who wants to go into ministry, must have their home life in order to be qualified. Ministry begins at home, before we can go out and minister to those who are outside of our home.

 

[mel3]

Is there the possibility your brother could be abusing drugs? I agree, it could also be a mental or chemical imbalance, but he seems to be able to control his temper around his friends. Which leads me to wonder if drugs are involved. People can get quite moody with family when their friends are not around helping him to get high. However, I would be extremely careful if you approach him with this. I would do just like you are doing and that is asking for prayer. It is also quite possible that the Holy Spirit is convicting him of sin. If he is a christian and has back slidden then you can just about bet this is the symptoms of a spiritual battle going on within him. Do you talk to him about this? The seeds are planted but he is not allowing himself to grow. He is acting just the way satan wants him too. Definately stay in prayer for him and I have said a prayer, too.

 

[debs]

Sharky, your brothers frustrations come from not getting what he wants, when he wants it. You have been praying for him right?..and its not getting better but worse..dont think that God hasnt heard your prayers. In fact the battle hes in may be a little like Jacobs battle with God. theres a scripture somewhere about "..he will not believe what his ears hear or what his eyes see.." (worth looking up) just trust in Gods working in his life and keep on lovin him...thats my bit anyway, debs

 

[wvmtnkid]

Hi Sharky!

I don't have anymore advice to give because it seems everyone else has given you some great advice and suggestions. I will though join you in praying for him. I at one time had a hot temper. Part of it was because I was so angry at how things in my life were going that I just lashed out whoever was in my way. Maybe your brother is dealing with some disappointment in his life and all he can be right now is angry. Whatever the reason, he can sure benefit from a lot of prayer.

He is also fortunate to have a brother to care for him so much even when he doesn't always treat you kind. God bless you Sharky! To me, that shows that Jesus is living in your heart. If He wasn't, you wouldn't care about your brother at a time like this. I'll be praying for you and your brother!