Horrible thoughts

[Migdala]

I "developed" OCD a few months after I got saved. I have never had anything like it in my life. I was so full of the Holy Spirit, but then I started having continuous thoughts in my head that were cussing out Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit. Constantly. It freaked me out when the first thing I would think when I woke up was "blankety blank blank You Jesus!".

I totally have stressed over this, enough for it to send me to the ER with bleeding ulcers, and to cause my first panic attack a few weeks ago.

I don't have any other violent or blasphemous thoughts-only toward my God and Savior, who I adore. I am constantly asking forgiveness in my mind for these horrible thoughts....and have been unable to have a strong walk with the Lord because of fears that I was not saved anymore. I have asked Jesus to come into my heart probably 500 times it seems like!

Yeah, I know that is classic OCD in a religious form, which is called Scrupulosity.

What has helped me a bit is that a good friend of mine who has a strong gift of prophecy prayed for me and she said that God revealed to her that I had a "tormenting spirit" that was causing the thoughts. I was to rebuke it and ignore it, and she also said that I ought to cuss out Satan instead! I have not gone that far because I don't want those words in my head in the first place!

What I have started doing lately is getting some annointing oil that I have asked God to bless. I get up and annoint my head/mind, and plead the blood of Jesus over my thoughts. And I ask God to take them away and put a hedge of protection over my mind and thoughts.

I also really avoid being around other people who cuss a lot, because those words tend to get "stuck" in my head. I also try to avoid any foods or drinks that are stimulating, like coffee, tea, sugar, food dyes, etc....anytime my mind is wired, the thoughts are more frequent.

This really really helps!!! When I do this, I only hear the offensive voices in my mind maybe once all day, at the very most.

I just wanted to know if anyone else has had problems with these types of thoughts-cussing out Jesus/God/HS in their minds? And how did you deal with it? Did you ignore them, or ask God to forgive you each time you heard them? Did you ever question your salvation because of the thoughts?

Thanks for the replies!

 

[Jesusisgood]

Thank you for posting! I have had thoughts similar to that. Someone also told me that it was a deciving spirit trying to make me believe I wasn't saved when I really am. Your advice on the oil and prayer to God for that is what I really need to do. Lately I have been making promises in my head about my life and if I dont do them I get scared that someone will die. Its not true and I know its satans lie cause Jesus said that "let your yes mean yes and your no mean no anymore than this comes from the evil one" I need to try anoiting my head with oil. I believe that can help me right now, I heard that fasting helped someone overcome her ocd for good.
It so good to hear how God is blessing you through this

 

[Migdala]

Well, I went to this pastor who told me that I have some huge "calling" on me, and that God had instructions for me. As soon as he said that, I fell out in the Spirit. A lady in the congregation later told me that she SAW a huge demon come off me-and she described what it looked like. She said it literally ran away! I felt really good for about 3 days, then the same feelings started coming back, and so I know that these thoughts are demonic and that they are trying to come back.

I've been told that I have generational curses and that is why I probably have some "open doorway" that the demons have been coming back through, even after I am delivered. So I'm working on finding that open doorway.

I agree-you should use the oil, also praying to God to take away the thoughts and casting them out in Jesus' name. He's the only one who can get rid of them.

Also, another thing is to watch your words....NEVER claim that you have OCD because if you claim it, you have it. We have to keep saying over and over that our minds have been HEALED by the blood of Jesus!

 

[MichaelHelp]

I just wanted to know if anyone else has had problems with these types of thoughts-cussing out Jesus/God/HS in their minds? And how did you deal with it? Did you ignore them, or ask God to forgive you each time you heard them? Did you ever question your salvation because of the thoughts?

I have this kind of OCD and it does suck, big time. It sent me to the hospital twice earlier this year, also shortly after i was saved and i still deal with it on a regular basis. And yes it did make me question my salvation.

Basically when those thoughts start coming i recite scripture in my head to counter it, sometimes i say "Jesus Christ is Lord". Sometimes if they just appear i might even shout "NO!"

On the question of salvation, yes it did make me question it. But i find it too much of a coincidence that this happens to so many people who post their stories here on the OCD forum. The devil and his minions will try anything to pull newly found Christians from Jesus Christ including trying to trick people into thinking they are no longer saved. Ultimately since these thoughts are so troubling and disturbing to you it means you are clearly saved! You know they are wrong, you don't want them, you take refuge in Christ. The thoughts are like sin that you are trying to get free from, and wanting to be free from sin is part of being a Christian!

 

[Jesusisgood]

Thank you

 

[Jesse12]

Sounds like you might have some torretts

 

[Jesse12]

I think the devil uses these disorders as a base of operations.
So the devil speaks through the OCD or torretts

 

[Jesse12]

Just remember it's NOT YOU that's doing it. God knows this. It's the OCD and the demons that speak through it. The Devil want's to use this to make you feel unworthy and guilty, thus hurting your relationship with God.

 

[Jesse12]

Or better yet, fellowship.

 

[shelovesChrist]

I just wanted to know if anyone else has had problems with these types of thoughts-cussing out Jesus/God/HS in their minds?

I suffered from it badly about a year ago. It happened a little before I got saved. It was the most painful experience of my life, because all i wanted to do was get closer to God and these thoughts, man, not only did they try to affect the way i saw Him but also the way i saw myself. it really got so bad sometimes that i just had to lay down and sleep, just to have some peace it felt like. but even through this, God's glory was revealed in me, becasue more and more, i just trusted in Jesus and more and more i saw His light. now they have no power over me, not because of my own strength, oh no because there were days, man, days i couldnt take it, but even when we are weak, GOD is still strong. ! so we never lose.

And how did you deal with it? Did you ignore them, or ask God to forgive you each time you heard them?

It was hard, at first i tried to correct every single one and that became so tiring. i had to get to the point where i realized that God knew my heart and knew that i didnt want these adn trust that, and it took a while. but Jesus showed me, more and more, how He was with me, and that gave me confidence. praising and praying helps alot, really, those keep your Spirit up, and i continued going to church even though they wouold sometimes occur in there. being around the saints of God is amazing, surround yourself with love. its hard when the thoughts make us want to be alone, but we need it. we're stronger.

Did you ever question your salvation because of the thoughts?

yes i did. over and over again.because i though they were mine. and i though i was evil. but when i found others who struggled and hated them i realized that i wasnt the only one. but now i know that GOd isnt going to erase my name out the book of life for having one and then write it back when my mind is clear. my salvation is based on what Jesus has done for me, and us, on the cross, not unwanted thoughts in my head.


its hard. but know that God loves you and is proud of you, even though it may be hard to beleive, because you continue to press toward Him adn follow Him even when it doesnt feel good, through the storm. He is closer than you think. continue on in Jesus name!

 

[shelovesChrist]

He'll keep you.

 

[Migdala]

Thanks for the replies everyone! I do feel better about it! I don't have Tourette's btw. It started a month or so after I got saved, and I don't cuss out loud, nor does my body have jerking motions. I know a guy with Tourette's, and I see what it does to him, and it's very sad. This is something demonic I believe....because one time I had a Deliverance minister cast them out, and I had relief for about 3 days!

It has been a lot better lately-unfortunatnly because I have not been spending near as much time with God. It's much worse for me when I do spend a lot of time with God. It is nice to have a break from it though.

 

[Jesse12]

Remember, if the thoughts are unwanted, you are not the one who is sinning or doing them

 

[Migdala]

Yes, I know....Deuteronomy 22:23-27 is a perfect example of this.

 

[Migdala]

Well, this is bizarre, but all of a sudden, the thoughts have gone. Over the last week, they became less and less,, and now I have next to none. While I am very glad they are gone, I'm also a tiny bit stressed about it in a way....I always thought it was Satanic...that the thoughts were some kind of serious demonic spiritual warfare. Now that I don't hear them, I'm stressing because I'm worried that I am not experiencing spiritual warfare, which would mean a lack of salvation? I've got to stop thinking that way, and just thank God for taking the thoughts away, after 3 years of suffering from them. lol