Hook me in 20 words or less

[Thunderring]

me to

ok here's one.

It only took a moment for all their hard work to unravle and her life to be distroyed.

YES! 18 words!

 

[sunstruckdream]

A week into the process, I found myself wishing I'd chosen the guillotine.

 

[Peace Eternal]

The permanent pucker around my mother's mouth lead me to belive for many years that life had simply given her lemons instead of leamonaid.

 

[Ubik]

Crying, he stood atop the pile of ash and twisted metal that was once called New York City.

 

[DerSchweik]

Newbie here - will attempt my "hand" at this...but I think this is 21 words - my bad...

It wasn't easy, returning to Worland. Old men wandered streets dusty with winter's debris, more gravel than snow fell last year...

 

[TexasBluebonnet]

"I never valued my life. At times it was a burden. That is until I realized I could die."

 

[GreenWizard]

The pen stood proudly on Ben's chest. The doctor peered at him curiously. "So, how did you get stabbed this time?"

 

[sunstruckdream]

I'm strong, I said to myself. I'm strong. I'm strong. I'm strong.
Good grief am I a liar.

 

[DerSchweik]

Aspen leaves clapped softly in the night breeze. Somewhere a twig snapped - startled, the man looked up from his campfire...

 

[GreenWizard]

I mentioned this thread in an IRC channel I go to and here are some that a couple people there made up:

*************************

Amy opened opened her door and she saw her ex-boyfriend holding a dead baby Unicorn. "It's April already?"

If he'd scored 20,000 points, he'd still have his hands. He had gambled against the Terrorist Arcade Club, and lost.

She hadn't finished memorizing the entire soliloquy, but as the bombs dropped she felt compelled to recite what she knew.

He had never cussed in front of his parents before, but if there was ever a time, it was now.

As she kissed him, she tasted blood. Most people would stop, but she knew time was running out.

"And that's how you can make a zillion dollars in five seconds."

 

[DerSchweik]

Thanks bro - that was thoughtful.

I mentioned this thread in an IRC channel I go to and here are some that a couple people there made up:

*************************

Amy opened opened her door and she saw her ex-boyfriend holding a dead baby Unicorn. "It's April already?"

If he'd scored 20,000 points, he'd still have his hands. He had gambled against the Terrorist Arcade Club, and lost.

She hadn't finished memorizing the entire soliloquy, but as the bombs dropped she felt compelled to recite what she knew.

He had never cussed in front of his parents before, but if there was ever a time, it was now.

As she kissed him, she tasted blood. Most people would stop, but she knew time was running out.

"And that's how you can make a zillion dollars in five seconds."

 

[DerSchweik]

In uncontrolled anguish, she knelt down, to touch the wood...a droplet struck her hand...blood - Ohhh, my son!

 

[GreenWizard]

Thanks bro - that was thoughtful.

Thank you.

 

[GreenWizard]

this one is based off some random lines from a fellow chatter:


Jeff's head was pounding as blood dripped from the walls.

 

[DerSchweik]

"...but I thought he'd already arrived..." her words trailed off. "Did he say anything to you - about me?"

 

[noworktoday]

Judge: "Why did you shoot your best friend"?

19 year old: "It looked so easy on TV"

 

[AnchoredInChrist]

At the sound of pounding feet on the sidewalk behind her she turned to see that he had found her.

 

[SillySeth]

One of the other writing sites I belong to [Absoutewrite] has a very interesting and fun writing exercise going called 'Hook me in 20 words or less'. The object is to create a one line opener designed to grab a reader's attention, and make them really, REALLY want to read more. It's good practice to come up with short, catchy first liners, because slow or boring openers are common problems for unpublished authors. So I thought we could try it here, at CF, providing anyone is interested. To start off, here is an opener I thought up:

“I’m not a vampire,” Alia drawled, with a lazy smile. “I just have unnaturally long incisors…that’s all.”

In was in that moment, I knew what I was destined to do.

 

[MrBF1V3]

The darkness within him kept him on the throne. But no one knew what was buried deeper within.

B5

 

[GreenWizard]

He soared gracefully through the air like a two-hundred pound wingless bird that was thrown off of a skyscraper.