Hook me in 20 words or less

Christianfantasy · Jul 21, 2008

I think you summed it up well, Ninjitsua sense of satisfaction. Plus, depending on how skillfully and realistically the plot and characters have been presented, some people could also take away the message, If theres a second chance for Character X, maybe theres hope for me too. If that isnt too farfetched.

Anyway, your sequel sounds as fascinating as the first story. I hope I get a chance to read more of the latter.

Shicoco · Jul 21, 2008

Actually, no theme is a bad theme if done correctly. If backed by a good plot, then it can turn out good.

The basic theme to Avatar was good overcoming evil...and I absolutely love it. It also had a unique plot, and great character interaction and development.

I guess what I mean is watch out that your story doesn't have a weak theme. I said something like this before. Take this plot:

A boy's parents are murdered, and he vows that he will avenge them. As he gets older, he becomes an assassin. He fights his way to the killer and eventually gets his vengeance.

Yawn. Ok, let's add a theme. Your theme, Christianfantasy.

A boy's parents are murdered, and he vows that he will avenge them. As he gets older, he becomes an assassin. As he fights his way to the killer, he has flashbacks about the love his parents gave him. He caves in and realizes that he can't kill the person who murdered his parents. He struggles, and eventually reaches God, and forgives the killers.

Of course, that's a little better. With a good plot, and in this case, strong character development, this could become a halfway decent story.

Christian Writers...ummm...it's Jesus_luvs_techies' thing...I'm not allowed to post links or urls yet... sorry.

Christianfantasy · Jul 21, 2008

Thanks for elaborating, Shicoco. That revenge story is irresistible. Heres my version: [Theme: Just when you think things cant get any worse]

A boys parents are killed and he vows revenge. Hes hopelessly clumsy, however, and flunks out of assassin school. Desperate, he apprentices himself to the worlds most powerful and evil sorcerer. The youths ineptitude dogs him, and after one particularly disastrous spell-gone-awry, the sorcerer retaliates by turning the MC into a toad. The MC assumes all he has to do is induce a princess to kiss him. When he finally succeeds: presto! He turns into a garden slug.

But here a different theme takes over [redemption]. The princess, realizing that this was no ordinary toadand is no ordinary slugcarries the slimy creature to a benevolent wizard. The sorcerers spell is broken, the princess falls in love with the awkward but handsome young man [hes grown in the course of the story] and a happily ever after ending ensues.

Alternate ending: The MC no longer cares about his parents killer, but he burns with rage at the sorcerer who turned him into a toad. The story ends with him vowing, if it costs him his last breath, to avenge himself against that dark and evil entity. [Theme: some people never learn.]

Shicoco · Jul 21, 2008

LOL, I'll get the theme music ready

Irresistable? lol, I'd say just-barely-made-it-on-the-shelves-cheap-fantasy-novel haha

Christianfantasy · Jul 25, 2008

I know Im close to death, muttered Simon, because I no longer care what people say about me when Im gone.

Shicoco · Jul 25, 2008

You'll never believe what's on the next page!

kandigurl · Aug 9, 2008

I hate bacon, she said.

Inkachu · Aug 9, 2008

Shicoco said:
Take this plot:

A boy's parents are murdered, and he vows that he will avenge them. As he gets older, he becomes an assassin. He fights his way to the killer and eventually gets his vengeance.

Yawn. Ok, let's add a theme. Your theme, Christianfantasy.

A boy's parents are murdered, and he vows that he will avenge them. As he gets older, he becomes an assassin. As he fights his way to the killer, he has flashbacks about the love his parents gave him. He caves in and realizes that he can't kill the person who murdered his parents. He struggles, and eventually reaches God, and forgives the killers.

Frankly, I prefer the first plot to the second. Warm, fuzzy, happy-ending stories are irritating to me.

Inkachu · Aug 9, 2008

"I screamed and flailed in protest, yet the hypodermic plunged mercilessly into my arm."

Axioma · Aug 10, 2008

He leaned her head back with one hand and poured wax into her eyes. Afterwards he lit a cigarette and offered her a drag. She made no reply, just sobbed.

sunstruckdream · Aug 11, 2008

kandigurl said:
I hate bacon, she said.

0.o

How does one hate bacon?!?

That got my attention immediately

sunstruckdream · Aug 11, 2008

"How'd you get that?" he asked.
I feigned innocence, feeling decidedly difficult. "Get what?"
"The scar."
He looked to my blackened forearm. I followed suit.
"Oh. That."

Axioma · Aug 11, 2008

Inkabink said:
Frankly, I prefer the first plot to the second. Warm, fuzzy, happy-ending stories are irritating to me.

Also, you don't just become an assassin without actually KILLING people at some point. Particularly if you have to "fight your way" to the killer of your parents. So all his Christian mercy will seem like so much sanctimonious, hypocritical posturing, because of all the faceless henchmen he will have killed to get to this point.

"If you kill him, you're just like him!" is stupid if you kill tons of masked extras before that scene.

Christianfantasy · Aug 11, 2008

[FONT=&quot]A black cat, coming out of nowhere, marred the viewing by leaping into the coffin and clawing the corpses face.[/FONT]

Jesus_Luvs_techies · Aug 11, 2008

She was invisible...a shadow in the starless night, and she was chasing the man who knew things that could change her life for the better. She saw him climb into a window sill, look back at her, and jump...to his death. Her only chance...dead...

Jesus_Luvs_techies · Aug 11, 2008

(bump)

Twich · Aug 12, 2008

"The last human ever to be born on the Planet Earth was born today and I was there to witness it."

brinny · Aug 15, 2008

Incredibly it stirred, this obscure shadow of a figure, cloaked in darkness, seemingly forgotten.

brinny · Aug 15, 2008

Silence fell, and in the stillness, a rustling was heard.

brinny · Aug 16, 2008

The silence was deafening.

Hook me in 20 words or less

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