Hello,
I am not sure if this is the right forum. I didn't see another to address this issue and we are over 50...biblical advice would really be appreciated as we are struggling.
My husband has a strained relationship with his parents. He has one brother who is the "golden child". My husband feels his life always revolved around his brother's needs and that he was along for the ride. His mother is a gossip, and this has caused a lifetime of distrust. When something was difficult in our lives, they blamed. (an example - our children are closely spaced due to medical reasons. When we were young parents with 3 children under 2. Their response was "You decided to have all these children." We have a single and a twin, um, no, God decided that for us. Regardless, not an offer to help, no understanding, no encouragement.)
We just moved to a new city. We returned to our previous area to attend a memorial on my husband's side of the family the day after thanksgiving. We were not invited to thanksgiving with my husband's family. As it turned out, my husband's family had a reunion on thanksgiving with all the family that was in town for the reunion. We discovered at the memorial that we were the only ones not invited. It was hosted by my husband's cousin, not my in-laws.
My father in law asked me why we did not attend. I said we knew nothing about it and were not invited. He said I was lying, of course we were, and then turned to my MIL in front of a room of people and laughingly asked why she had not invited us. She said, "Because they would not have come." I guess the look of shock on our faces made her realize that she had let it be known it was intentional. She then said it was not her invitation to extend. She was not the host. Of 8 cousins, my husband was the only one not invited. There is no strain between him and the rest of the family. We never see them. All they know is what his mother tells them - which, based on how she gossips, is not good.
How do we honor these parents? He wants nothing to do with them. Sorry this is long. 30 years of this is hard to condense. Thank you!
I am not sure if this is the right forum. I didn't see another to address this issue and we are over 50...biblical advice would really be appreciated as we are struggling.
My husband has a strained relationship with his parents. He has one brother who is the "golden child". My husband feels his life always revolved around his brother's needs and that he was along for the ride. His mother is a gossip, and this has caused a lifetime of distrust. When something was difficult in our lives, they blamed. (an example - our children are closely spaced due to medical reasons. When we were young parents with 3 children under 2. Their response was "You decided to have all these children." We have a single and a twin, um, no, God decided that for us. Regardless, not an offer to help, no understanding, no encouragement.)
We just moved to a new city. We returned to our previous area to attend a memorial on my husband's side of the family the day after thanksgiving. We were not invited to thanksgiving with my husband's family. As it turned out, my husband's family had a reunion on thanksgiving with all the family that was in town for the reunion. We discovered at the memorial that we were the only ones not invited. It was hosted by my husband's cousin, not my in-laws.
My father in law asked me why we did not attend. I said we knew nothing about it and were not invited. He said I was lying, of course we were, and then turned to my MIL in front of a room of people and laughingly asked why she had not invited us. She said, "Because they would not have come." I guess the look of shock on our faces made her realize that she had let it be known it was intentional. She then said it was not her invitation to extend. She was not the host. Of 8 cousins, my husband was the only one not invited. There is no strain between him and the rest of the family. We never see them. All they know is what his mother tells them - which, based on how she gossips, is not good.
How do we honor these parents? He wants nothing to do with them. Sorry this is long. 30 years of this is hard to condense. Thank you!