Homosexual thoughts - Accountability Partner

[graeme72]

i am a happily married man with 3 children, but ever since i was a teenager i have struggled with homosexual thoughts and fantasies. I have never acted on them, but they have always been there. in the past they were not very often (every few months) so i did not think it was problem but over the years it has slowly got worse and now it is happening a lot (weekly). I admit I have an addiction and a problem I cannot overcome on my own. it may sound strange but i don't have any desire to be in a homosexual relationship, in fact it is turn off for me, but for some reason in my head (fantasies) it is attractive. but even this i know is overstepping the line, and is a real problem for me. i know one day i will need to confess this to someone and get help but i just don't feel ready to do that yet, this is a very embarassing problem for me, so in the meantime i am looking for a person who would be willing to team up with me and be accountable to each other, pray for each other, and check on each other and provide advice. if you feel you would be interested in this please PM me. i am looking for long term accountability partners

 

[ido]

I'm sure this wasn't easy to share, Graeme - God bless you for having the courage to do so. I will be keeping you in prayer.

 

[Criada]

Well done, that was a very brave thing to do, and a first step towards dealing with your feelings.
I don't know whether this will help, but there is an online community of Christians who struggle with sexual issues at www.higher-calling.com. Others there are facing the same issues, and provide support and accountability for one another.

It took me a while between admitting my homosexual inclinations online, and finding the courage to talk about them in 'real life' - and it is still very hard. But it is also very worthwhile, and when you do get to that point, although it is very, very hard, it will bring you great relief and freedom.
If you want to talk, PM me any time... I know how it feels.

 

[graeme72]

hey, thanks for the link, it looks great!

 

[TheRebornJason]

I am 17 and i am struggling with homosexual desires. I received christ in april this year. I was full of the spirit, bearing lots of fruits. Then today i backslided, i indulged myself in pornography(homosexual). I felt ashamed of myself. God has already set me free from the sins, but yet i feel like i am deliberately walking away from God. I want the kingdom of God, and i know very well that if i do not repent i will never inherit it.

God told me through the Holy-spirit, that he will never leave me nor forsake me.

Thats the greatest assurance God has ever gave me. But now i am backsliding. I have allowed the evil one to ensnarl me again, i am now in bondage.

I was porn free and masturbation free for 8months! I was sure that i was going to stay like this for the rest of my life. Today, somehow i was held captive by the evil one again. I am struggling to break free. But the urge of going back is so strong.

I want God to convict me and arrest me again so that i will feel guilty and remorseful of my sins and so have the will to repent.

I am even downloading porn now, somehow i just have the strong urge to finish watching them before i delete it. I know this sounds silly, but i may be delibrately going against God.

I will never want to anger and go against him, i love him and i fear him.
Pls HELP! THis is why i joined this forum!

 

[Isaiah54]

I am 17 and i am struggling with homosexual desires. I received christ in april this year. I was full of the spirit, bearing lots of fruits. Then today i backslided, i indulged myself in pornography(homosexual). I felt ashamed of myself. God has already set me free from the sins, but yet i feel like i am deliberately walking away from God. I want the kingdom of God, and i know very well that if i do not repent i will never inherit it.

God told me through the Holy-spirit, that he will never leave me nor forsake me.

Thats the greatest assurance God has ever gave me. But now i am backsliding. I have allowed the evil one to ensnarl me again, i am now in bondage.

I was porn free and masturbation free for 8months! I was sure that i was going to stay like this for the rest of my life. Today, somehow i was held captive by the evil one again. I am struggling to break free. But the urge of going back is so strong.

I want God to convict me and arrest me again so that i will feel guilty and remorseful of my sins and so have the will to repent.

I am even downloading porn now, somehow i just have the strong urge to finish watching them before i delete it. I know this sounds silly, but i may be delibrately going against God.

I will never want to anger and go against him, i love him and i fear him.
Pls HELP! THis is why i joined this forum!

Jason: Ask God to forgive you - forgive yourself - then forget it and go on. Don't keep beating yourself up and living in condemnation. It doesn't help.

Remember what God said to you..."God told me through the Holy-spirit, that he will never leave me nor forsake me. "

He told you that because you needed to hear it. Take Him at His word and believe it. He's not mad at you. He's not disappointed in you. He loves you. He really does! Don't be too hard on yourself when you mess up. Just do your best. That's all you can do. God Bless.

 

[lehctim]

I can truly say "same here" am 18 and have also been fighting homosexuality...i have done things that God is most definitely displease with..but as you said he will never forsake me...

 

[lehctim]

I am 17 and i am struggling with homosexual desires. I received christ in april this year. I was full of the spirit, bearing lots of fruits. Then today i backslided, i indulged myself in pornography(homosexual). I felt ashamed of myself. God has already set me free from the sins, but yet i feel like i am deliberately walking away from God. I want the kingdom of God, and i know very well that if i do not repent i will never inherit it.

God told me through the Holy-spirit, that he will never leave me nor forsake me.

Thats the greatest assurance God has ever gave me. But now i am backsliding. I have allowed the evil one to ensnarl me again, i am now in bondage.

I was porn free and masturbation free for 8months! I was sure that i was going to stay like this for the rest of my life. Today, somehow i was held captive by the evil one again. I am struggling to break free. But the urge of going back is so strong.

I want God to convict me and arrest me again so that i will feel guilty and remorseful of my sins and so have the will to repent.

I am even downloading porn now, somehow i just have the strong urge to finish watching them before i delete it. I know this sounds silly, but i may be delibrately going against God.

I will never want to anger and go against him, i love him and i fear him.
Pls HELP! THis is why i joined this forum!

Faith my friend...God is there..he forgives you when you ask for it...but we need to forgive ourselves...

 

[PrayerInProgress]

I am also married and have struggled with this same problem for many years now. I don't have any desire to actually do these things in person any more now that I'm married but I still have the urge to look at that stuff on the internet. I have been struggling with this problem for a long time now. There are so many times when I have backslided and allowed tempation to win. Thankfully and only with God's help I know that I am forgiven if I do happen to backslide. Just knowing that makes it easier.

I will say that with time and God's help it is getting easier to resist temptation. I am also starting to recognize the signs when I know I'm at risk for being tempted. For me, the feelings and urges happen mostly at times when I feel rejected or feel like a failure. When I feel like I'm less than worthy as a man I tend to allow temptation to enter my thoughts. Then I start re living old memories of things I've done or seen. That's where the problem is. So for me one of the biggest steps for me has been to ask for God's help in forgiving myself for making mistakes or not being perfect. I have also asked God to help me forgive others for rejecting me and to just let things go. I have also worked hard to accept myself as I am and also forgive others in my past who have steered me in the wrong direction. So when I feel rejection or failure, I know that I'm going to be in prayer until I can completely give to God the feeling of not being good enough.

I remember when I was a teenager and first realized that same sex desires were happening, I knew that I didn't want them. So I started out praying constantly with the hope that I would be cured overnight. I figured that God would surely fix me of this problem once and for all if I just prayed hard enough. But God had other plans for me. For years I beat myself up inside with guilt and shame each time I gave in to temptation. I had an overpowering feeling of being helpless with this problem. Many times I tried on my own to find a solution to fix it. Nothing worked. And of course I eventually turned to the internet looking at pictures which still to this day haunt my memory at times.

However, now that I have had more time to walk with the Lord I have been focusing on improving my faith and trusting that he will show me the way. I now have come to realize that giving up the temptations is part of how I can honor God through sacrificing the desire of the flesh and that resisting temptation is almost like a way I can show how much I love God and that I'm willing to give up what I want to please him. I know it sounds odd to say but now I can honestly say that I'm even grateful many times for this burden. Without it I would not be relying on God to get me through each day.

I still struggle with temptation and I know that this will be a lifelong battle. But I know that only with God's help I will be fine. Some days are better than others. On difficult days when I am tempted to look at same sex stuff on the internet I pray every chance I get. The temptation is still there, but with prayer and having faith and trust in God to deliver me from evil it's getting easier.

Now that I am in my 30's I can say for a fact that with God's help things definitely get easier as faith and trust grows. I think accountability can be a very good thing because it's hard to find people who understand what we're going through. A good accountability partner no doubt would have made things easier, but again, just holding to my faith has been the real lifesaver.

 

[johnholby]

Hi Jason,
I read your post.It is a struggle i have as well. When you read the Bible, are there any passages that encourage you, frightens you??
How do you perceive it when someone says God loves you?? Do you perceive it as conditional or unconditional Love from God??
Have you ever heard of Joseph Prince a Pastor from Singapore, He preaches boldly on No Condemnation in Christ.
You can UTUBE or GOOGLE him up.
God loves you very much and He wants you to be walking in the New Jerusalem (city of our God)someday more than you do
A brother from Norway

 

[solja247]

How do you perceive it when someone says God loves you?? Do you perceive it as conditional or unconditional Love from God??

I am not too sure if this is liberalism.

But remember you have to answer to God the things you have done in this life. Do you seriously want to face God with Him asking you questions about what you did? I dont.


I'll admit I had a problem with this when I was 15 or 16. The problem was pornography. At 13 I began to have a craving for pornography after moths of fighting I gave in. As time went by I got curious...To be free from homsexual thoughts you have to;

a) Read your Bible and pray.
b) Not look at pornography, none!
c) Have a mentor or accountability partner.

I think thats it. oh and motivation. It will take months to get rid of those thoughts and fantasies but it will happen.

One more thing. Get rid of anything with any sex in it. Whether it be music, videos, games. It doesnt matter. Burn it, bin it. Whatever.

Anyways I pray that God will help you through this.

 

[gohst]

My PM is open Graeme