Homosexual marriage...what to do???

[Beanieboy]

well i work with someone that is homosexual and i really consider him a good friend! he is such a nice person and is always willing to help me out when needed! well here is the thing....he will be getting married next year, actually a few weeks after me, well i don't really know if its considered a marriage or whatever to men getting married is.

my question to everyone is should i go to this wedding because he is a good friend or should i not because it would be considered supporting that lifestyle (which i do not). im just torn because he is a great friend and i don't want to hurt his feelings by not going.

i know that this is not for a year but ever since he told me he was getting married this question has been eating away at me. any help will be greatly appreciated!

Thank you!

Christianity teaches that you should love others as you love yourself.
Were I to come to your wedding, something that you are excited about, but were a Muslim, and didn't approve of your false wedding to a false God, and how you will ultimately have children than will probably be raised Christian, and thus, go to hell, would you want me there?

If you were marrying a woman that I didn't like, so I didn't approve, but he made you very happy, would you want me there?

If you were getting married in a Protestant Church, but being a strong Catholic, I didn't think of your wedding as a "real" wedding because you weren't getting married in a Catholic Church by a priest, would you want me there? Would you want me to do air quotes everytime I used the word marriage, say, "congratulations on your, uh, marriage (eye roll) or whatever you people call it"? Would you want me to tell you that as a strong Catholic, I don't approve, and that you aren't married in God's eyes?

I wouldn't want anyone at my wedding that wasn't happy for me. If they didn't support homosexual marriage, this specific one or in general, I wouldn't want them there. They have the right to believe what they want, but not the right to attend and rain on my wedding, just as I am not going to grandstand about the injustice of straight people being allowed to marry while gay people cannot on their wedding day.

You sound like a nice person, but I question if you are a "good friend" to someone who is gay, while you are so strongly opposed to homosexuality.
That leads me to ask this: Are you "good friends" with people of other faiths, even though your religion says to only worship God?

 

[Beanieboy]

Well,you mentioned that he is a good friend,right? It doesn't matter if he's a homosexual or not. It's not about his sexual orientation, it's about his happiness. If you are a good friend, you should go!

This is where I think we need to start.

If someone told me, "You know, you are a good friend. It doesn't matter to me whether or not you are gay," I would say, "but it matters to me. Gay issues are going to be something I have to deal with. I don't want to be befriended despite being gay, or even because I am gay. I want to be befriended for who I am, and gay is part of who I am. If you can't accept that, they you really have no place in my life."

Imagine someone saying, "Oh. You're a Christian. Hmmm. Well, that doesn't matter." How do you feel? Like you faith is valued? Or condescended to?

 

[Ramona]

According to Christian theology, everyone is a sinner, and no sin is greater than any other in the eyes of God. He's your friend, so be a friend and go to the wedding. Dance and have a good time. Some of my very closest friends do things I find very morally wrong (getting drunk and/or high come to mind), but I don't love them any less for it.

In the end you'll just have to decide whether you love your friend enough to show him you care. Good luck.

 

[Beanieboy]

According to Christian theology, everyone is a sinner, and no sin is greater than any other in the eyes of God. He's your friend, so be a friend and go to the wedding. Dance and have a good time. Some of my very closest friends do things I find very morally wrong (getting drunk and/or high come to mind), but I don't love them any less for it.

In the end you'll just have to decide whether you love your friend enough to show him you care. Good luck.

Would they want you at a party where they were getting drunk? Would they want you at a kegger? Would you go to a kegger, disapproving of drunkeness? Would you want to go to your friend's house while he was getting high? Would they want you there?

I think that is closer to the question. If the problem is with gay marriage itself, being at a gay marriage isn't like looking the other way when your friends drink too much.

 

[Polycarp_fan]

You should not go. Taking a stand for Christ and His Church should take precedence over supporting what the world supports. There is no such thing as same-gender "marriage," to a Christian and your being at this activity will only look like you're condoning it. Would you go to an abortion with a friend? Would you go to a porno flick with a friend? Hopefully your answer will be the same on all three.

 

[TooCurious]

You should not go. Taking a stand for Christ and His Church should take precedence over supporting what the world supports. There is no such thing as same-gender "marriage," to a Christian and your being at this activity will only look like you're condoning it. Would you go to an abortion with a friend? Would you go to a porno flick with a friend? Hopefully your answer will be the same on all three.

...Did you really just analogize a celebration of love and a ceremony of lifelong commitment--one of the most important occasions in the lives of the celebrants--to a pornographic movie?

Explain to me again how the pro-gay-marriage advocates are on the side "devaluing marriage"?

 

[Ramona]

Would they want you at a party where they were getting drunk? Would they want you at a kegger? Would you go to a kegger, disapproving of drunkeness? Would you want to go to your friend's house while he was getting high? Would they want you there?

I don't think these are comprable situations. I avoid a party where ANY drugs or excessive alcohol were used because I find mind-altering substances morally wrong, but I find them morally wrong because they are so dangerous. Being around teh gheys isn't unsafe.

 

[SiderealExalt]

Hi everyone. It's me, Sidereal. Out here in California. Did you know...AS WE SPEAK!!!...teh gey's are getting...MARRIED!!!...yes I know it's crazy huh!!! My moral fiber and sense of family, tradition and commitment is eroding as we speak. Please save me!!!


...Erm..I'm sorry... the evil spirits of christian conservative morality temporarily possessed me. Thankfully cake from this lesbian jewish wedding drove it away.

Yay for the gay people of California. Unsurprisingly my life is still the same as it was before today. And it's going to continue to be so. Fancy that.

 

[Skaloop]

Hi everyone. It's me, Sidereal. Out here in California. Did you know...AS WE SPEAK!!!...teh gey's are getting...MARRIED!!!...yes I know it's crazy huh!!! My moral fiber and sense of family, tradition and commitment is eroding as we speak. Please save me!!!


...Erm..I'm sorry... the evil spirits of christian conservative morality temporarily possessed me. Thankfully cake from this lesbian jewish wedding drove it away.

Yay for the gay people of California. Unsurprisingly my life is still the same as it was before today. And it's going to continue to be so. Fancy that.

Oh, it doesn't happen right away. It's a slow erosion of what is important. It turns out the slippery slop is not always a fallacy. Look at what happened here in Canada. We approved SSM in the summer of 2005. The next season, a Canadian team went to game 7 of the Stanley Cup final, but lost. The season after that, a Canadian team only went to game 5 of the Stanley Cup final, but lost. This season, a Canadian team didn't even make it to the Stanley Cup final. Clearly a downward spiral. Then, we lost the Hockey Night in Canada theme song. Obviously things have gotten much worse. Sure, our dollar is higher than in decades and our economy is doing well, but at what cost? Don't be surprised if the Ducks, Kings, and Sharks all start to suck.

 

[SiderealExalt]

The next thing you are going to tell me skaloop is that people will throw octopuses onto the ice in a hockey game...the MADNESS!!!

 

[Skaloop]

The next thing you are going to tell me skaloop is that people will throw octopuses onto the ice in a hockey game...the MADNESS!!!

Well, they'll throw 'em, but there won't be trouble until some innocent ice cleaner, in a time honoured tradition, spins it around his head to get the crowd roaring. Only then will he be smoten by BettMan to the tune of $10,000.

Here are the Ten Commandments of BettMan.

1) Thou shall not spin an octopus.
2) Thou shall not play a game in every city in the league.
3) Thou shall put expansion teams in small hockey markets.
4) Thou shall not instigate.
5) Thou shall not accept payment from a national broadcaster to air games.
6) Thou shall stop relocation of failing teams that you initially approved.
7) Thou shall be inconsistent with suspensions.
8) Thou shall cancel one full season of play.
9) Thou shall not have any hockey background.
10) Thou shall disenfranchise Canadian viewers.

 

[ChaliceThunder]

no he hasn't sent any invitations yet but he has already told me that im invited and showed me the guest list. he knows that i am a strong christian but we really never discussed about Christianity and homosexuality, im a big people pleaser and try to avoid conflict as much as possible so im not one to say to him that i disapprove of his choices, i know that i should witness to him, but that is a hard thing for me.

also i believe that he is one of those people that is a believer but does not believe that homosexuality is wrong. its just a tough thing for me. i try to be the best christian i can but i know that i should be witnessing to him...

Be his friend, not the judge of his life. God can take care of that.

You can be a good witness to him - and guess what? He might make a real impression on you, and show you the truth of the matter: Gay is not sin. Learn from him.

 

[Aeris]

You should not go. Taking a stand for Christ and His Church should take precedence over supporting what the world supports. There is no such thing as same-gender "marriage," to a Christian and your being at this activity will only look like you're condoning it. Would you go to an abortion with a friend? Would you go to a porno flick with a friend? Hopefully your answer will be the same on all three.

Your so right! Loose all your friends and be a hypocrite by judging them based on their sins when you your self sin, treat homosexuality as the biggest sin ever even though there are clearly worse ones (from a human point of veiw, such as killing, stealing, etc) and christianity teachs that all sins are equal, oh and by the way never go to anyones wedding because in >90% atleast one of the people in the relationship have probably had premarital sex so in gods eye they are married to the first person they had sex with so this marriage is invalid. *Oh also ALWAYS make stupid comparisions of gay marriage to other obviously worse things (see above comparisions to abortion and porn) order to vilify it and in an attempt get more supporters.

*If you dont do this last most important one your not a "True Christian"

 

[Skaloop]

Y *Oh also ALWAYS make stupid comparisions of gay marriage to other obviously worse things (see above comparisions to abortion and porn) order to vilify it and in an attempt get more supporters.

Well, I wouldn't say that porn is obviously worse than gay marriage. I see nothing wrong with either. Heck, even abortion isn't obviously worse than gay marriage (although personally I would not want my partner to get an abortion, I understand and support those who do).

Anyway, just sayin'.

 

[bshoe421]

ok, everyone is trying to compare sins...a sin is a sin wether it is lieing or killing, in God's eyes it is the same thing! yes publicly many of them are seen very differently. you wont go to jail for telling a lie...well not usually! im not trying to go to say that i support homosexuality. i do not support abortion but im not going to disown someone because they have had an abortion. i have always been taught hate the sin not the sinner. i try and love all of my brothers and sisters the same, believer or non believer.

 

[Asimov]

well i work with someone that is homosexual and i really consider him a good friend! he is such a nice person and is always willing to help me out when needed! well here is the thing....he will be getting married next year, actually a few weeks after me, well i don't really know if its considered a marriage or whatever to men getting married is.

my question to everyone is should i go to this wedding because he is a good friend or should i not because it would be considered supporting that lifestyle (which i do not). im just torn because he is a great friend and i don't want to hurt his feelings by not going.

i know that this is not for a year but ever since he told me he was getting married this question has been eating away at me. any help will be greatly appreciated!

Thank you!

You shouldn't be a bigot and accept your friend for who he is. You wouldn't want someone to condemn you on the basis that you like vanilla ice cream, so don't condemn someone on the basis that they like the opposite sex. Preferences are preferences.

 

[WhatThe]

my question to everyone is should i go to this wedding because he is a good friend or should i not because it would be considered supporting that lifestyle (which i do not). im just torn because he is a great friend and i don't want to hurt his feelings by not going.

Question: would you want your friend to be in a happy loving relationship? Yes? Then you should support him in this, and go to his wedding. There is nothing wring with two people loving each other, regardless of their gender.

If you aren't prepared to accept him as who he is, then you probably shouldn't be his friend.

 

[WhatThe]

ok, everyone is trying to compare sins...a sin is a sin wether it is lieing or killing, in God's eyes it is the same thing! yes publicly many of them are seen very differently. you wont go to jail for telling a lie...well not usually! im not trying to go to say that i support homosexuality. i do not support abortion but im not going to disown someone because they have had an abortion. i have always been taught hate the sin not the sinner. i try and love all of my brothers and sisters the same, believer or non believer.

Personally, i see a "sin" as being something that hurts another person, or takes away the rights of another (like killing, rape, lies, etc, as you said).
Being gay does not hurt anyone, or interfere with their rights, so i don't see why it is in anyway a sin.

 

[suzeequeue]

Let he who is without sin cast the first stone...

bshoe, i do not believe you are supporting the gay lifestyle simply by going to your friend's wedding, but my opinion doesn't really matter. ask God if he wants you to attend. you know, maybe it would be sinful not to go because only God knows why He put you and your friend together; perhaps your friend will come to repentance because you supported HIM, not his sin. we are all sinners after all.

i agree that i wouldn't go with a friend to get an abortion. i would make sure she knew i was against it and why and i would try to talk her out of it, because after all, abortion is murder. i would love her anyway.

this is where we get into the 'one sin is as bad as another.' even though Jesus said that to look on a woman with lust is the SAME as bedding her (paraphrased), or to think of murder in your heart is the same as murdering, don't be too quick to judge what those words mean. let scripture interpret scripture.

we know that God is perfect; He cannot sin, He cannot lie, He cannot change, He cannot be UNJUST. He can't!

now you tell me, is it the same in God's eyes if i lie and tell my friend her new haircut is cute, even if i don't particularly think so; is that the same as when a sick person rapes, tortures and kills a child. is it the same in God's eyes?!

NO!!!

a sin is a sin is a sin, YES!! that's all that verse means. ALL sin is sin, no matter how big or how small, and ALL sin separates us from the Lord. it does not mean that one sin 'weighs' as much as another in God's eyes. that's why scripture tells us He will judge each one of us according to what we have done. HE WILL JUDGE EACH ONE OF US ACCORDING TO WHAT WE HAVE DONE. :ough.

God cannot be unjust. we KNOW that.

i just wanted to get that off my chest..lol

 

[TheManeki]

Personally, i see a "sin" as being something that hurts another person, or takes away the rights of another (like killing, rape, lies, etc, as you said).
Being gay does not hurt anyone, or interfere with their rights, so i don't see why it is in anyway a sin.

That's the thing that made me wise up to the fact that those who use the Bible to condemn homosexuality really have no case. As the Bible says in Matthew 12:33, "Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit." The predicted "bad fruit" for homosexuals were nothing but stereotypes, totally not borne out by real life. So if there is nothing wrong with it, why would it be arbitrarily condemned? God may have just as well forbidden people to wear orange clothing, or something else like that. I can't believe in such an arbitrary deity, so I can't believe a Biblical interpretation that condemns homosexuality.