Home sweet home?

[bluegreysky]

I went through a rental company, and got a condo starting in December 2011.
My roommate planned to move out this summer anyway.
Since my new husband was staying with family to save money,
The easiest move was for him to take over her old room as an office
And just live in my home with me after we tied the knot.
The owner of the place lives up north and uses it as an investment. So it’s not likely he will just race down south and demand his home back.
As far as I know, we have it as long as we need it.

The positives: it’s affordable, it’s in a safe enough area, it’s in decent shape and if anything breaks the hoa has to fix it at no cost to us.
The negatives: it’s cheap…meaning it has old carpet, linoleum floors and counters, chintzy cabinets that are bowing a little, appliances that break a lot and it’s only 950 square feet…oh and we can’t paint or remodel it or upgrade it.

We want to buy a house. But there is other financial priorites in the way. A better car for him, debts, etc…
Realistically, leaning on our own understanding, it would be 3-5 years before buying a house is do-able. Partially because of those debts, partially because we need to think and pray about what we find and be SURE about it, since he moved all his life every couple of years and doesn’t want to play that “lets give it a whirl for 2 years and then sell it and move across the country” game. I concur. I lived in one home all my life and then had to move 7 times in 5 years once I came up to this town for college. Moving is icky.

The bible says not to lean on our own understanding.
So I suppose we can face this much the same way a single faces falling in love.
Do we look, or do we sit back and let God give us something?
It could be sooner. Or a lot later.
Do we scan zillow and talk to realtors? Or do we sit and pray and wait?
Or do both?

Married people who have been married awhile and own a home:
When is it best to buy a house? How soon is “too soon”?

Input is mucho appreciated! Thanks

 

[puregrl]

My husband and I just purchased our first home. It is nice to have something that is yours, but there is a big price that comes with it. Mortgages and payments can be very hard. You have to take a lot into account when making such a large purchase. We looked at first the cost and broke down how much it would be a month, and looked at our budget. We considered that we would need to purchase things to take care of our new home. And we considered whether or not we would be there long term, as selling a home can be difficult.

I would evaluate why you want a new home at this point in time, and again look at the positives and negatives of where you are now. I dont think the length of marriage has anything to do with buying a home, it is more of what you need and want. Most people seem to have a rental then buy after they have saved up and paid some things off. It seems like you know what the answer to your question is from what ive read. But keep praying. Dont make a hasty decision about such a large commitment. We do love our home, but spent a long time in prayer and consideration. Hope you find your answer.

 

[bluegreysky]

"heartfelt" reasons we want a house:
-I grew up in one home and I want to get back to that stability.
-His father had some serious financial woes and he never got to live in one place long, and at times the family of 5 would cram into a motel room for several months. That has made him long for what I had ... a stable home that they OWNED. And he wants it for himself, since his finances and credit are much better off.

"logical" reasons to want a house:
-Our own choice of how its designed and decorated
-freedom to change it up
-Our own yard and landscaping options
-Garage
-Trashcans that you simply roll out to the curb (right now I have to haul the bag of trash down from the 3rd floor unit and drive it to the community dumpster, ugh)
-not hearing the neighbor girl scream at her boyfriend through the wall
-Not smelling cigarettes in our bathroom because the smoke from next door wafted
-Having a place we can expand over time
-having "land". well he wants it more than I do. Suburbia is ok for me, but he wants a little acreage he can grow gardens and maybe own various animals.
-possibly having our own pool, but I want that more than he does. He doesn't really want to pay for the chemicals and whatnot.
-freedom to decorate outside for holidays. Right now we can't really do that, HOA rules...
-our own driveway and we can have our own guests as long as we want. the HOA will tow strange cars from the condo parkinglot.
-Freedom to own a grill. Not allowed on our balcony.
-Freedom to have whatever pets we want. A pet fee is in place at the condo, and also having animals in a small space is smelly/dirty sometimes.
-Own our own mailbox, instead of driving to the other side of the complex to check the community boxes.
-Hosting church functions. Also not as easy in a small one-bathroom apartment.

BUT there are some reasons NOT to own a home.

-You pay for what gets damaged. Not someone else.
-You replace the appliances when they break, IF you can afford it.
-You have to maintain the lawn or the HOA gets on your case.
-The risk for theft can increase
-The risk for flood can increase
-The risk for fire can increase
-Pests can get in the attic
-You have to pay bigger bills because it's a bigger place with more needs
-You have to do all the landscaping and maintain it
-You could have nasty permanent neighbors.
-selling the house
-Mortgage costs
-you can't most likely just pack up and leave a few months later if a hot new career or other opportunity comes.

I am personally willing to face all those possible issues with faith God has a plan to protect and guide us. But we don't even know where to begin as far as what kind of house or exactly which part of town/neighborhood/subdivision

 

[bluegreysky]

"heartfelt" reasons we want a house:
-I grew up in one home and I want to get back to that stability.
-His father had some serious financial woes and he never got to live in one place long, and at times the family of 5 would cram into a motel room for several months. That has made him long for what I had ... a stable home that they OWNED. And he wants it for himself, since his finances and credit are much better off.

"logical" reasons to want a house:
-Our own choice of how its designed and decorated
-freedom to change it up
-Our own yard and landscaping options
-Garage
-Trashcans that you simply roll out to the curb (right now I have to haul the bag of trash down from the 3rd floor unit and drive it to the community dumpster, ugh)
-not hearing the neighbor girl scream at her boyfriend through the wall
-Not smelling cigarettes in our bathroom because the smoke from next door wafted
-Having a place we can expand over time
-having "land". well he wants it more than I do. Suburbia is ok for me, but he wants a little acreage he can grow gardens and maybe own various animals.
-possibly having our own pool, but I want that more than he does. He doesn't really want to pay for the chemicals and whatnot.
-freedom to decorate outside for holidays. Right now we can't really do that, HOA rules...
-our own driveway and we can have our own guests as long as we want. the HOA will tow strange cars from the condo parkinglot.
-Freedom to own a grill. Not allowed on our balcony.
-Freedom to have whatever pets we want. A pet fee is in place at the condo, and also having animals in a small space is smelly/dirty sometimes.
-Own our own mailbox, instead of driving to the other side of the complex to check the community boxes.
-Hosting church functions. Also not as easy in a small one-bathroom apartment.

BUT there are some reasons NOT to own a home.

-You pay for what gets damaged. Not someone else.
-You replace the appliances when they break, IF you can afford it.
-You have to maintain the lawn or the HOA gets on your case.
-The risk for theft can increase
-The risk for flood can increase
-The risk for fire can increase
-Pests can get in the attic
-You have to pay bigger bills because it's a bigger place with more needs
-You have to do all the landscaping and maintain it
-You could have nasty permanent neighbors.
-selling the house
-Mortgage costs
-you can't most likely just pack up and leave a few months later if a hot new career or other opportunity comes.

I am personally willing to face all those possible issues with faith God has a plan to protect and guide us. But we don't even know where to begin as far as what kind of house or exactly which part of town/neighborhood/subdivision

 

[ValleyGal]

If you can stay where you are, then why not? Just because you don't own, doesn't mean you have to move every couple of years. In fact, I've heard from realtors that typically, younger families tend to buy a home and only live in it for an average of 6 years. So even homeowners move around a lot. When I bought my first home, I figured I'd be there for my whole life, but it was exactly 6 years. lol.

If the carpets are old and the cabinets are sagging, why not talk to the landlord and see if he would be willing to have new flooring put in. Some are pretty negotiable, especially if they've had the house a long time. Most investing owners also know that renters are hard on homes and they need to be kept up. I had a landlord years ago, who said I was allowed to paint. He paid for the paint and supplies, and I did all the work. When I was finished, he kept all the supplies, and I got a newly painted place.

If he is an absent landlord, he might not realize the condition of the floors and cabinets. Since you've been there for a few years, you might want to talk with him about it and see what he can do for you.

As for owning, well, I'd say take care of your other debts first. Think about this. If you own your home and you have tapped-out finances, if a water main breaks or the roof caves in, etc....those are huge expenses even with homeowner's insurance. It's all very expensive. If an appliance breaks down you can't just call the landlord to fix it....it's up to you, and it's a huge responsibility. As well, apparently Kevin O'Leary (iirc) says that buying right now will be a bad investment. I don't recall why.

As for looking...well, if you can look without needing to buy, then look. I have a cat. I don't want a cat (she has bonded to me more than to others in the home) - I'm a dog gal. I like dogs, I've had dogs most of my life, and I want one again. But we have this cat and I could not afford the initial cost of a dog right now anyway (why? because we own our own home! lol). But I keep looking at rescue pets anyway. Some are sooooo sweet, and it has been tempting to sell something so I can adopt one. But I exercise restraint. If you can do this - look without buying - then have fun looking! It can be nice to look together with your new husband and let each other know what you do or don't like and even see if you're on the same page. I'd be very careful about buying, though....especially if you have other debts to pay off, which means you likely have no down payment anyway.

 

[Inkachu]

What about upgrading to a nicer apartment or condo? Frankly, having been both an apartment dweller and home owner, there are times when I REALLY miss the simplicity of apartment living! Buying a house is a huge, convoluted PITA, ridiculously costly, and then suddenly you're the only one responsible for the roof and the yard and plumbing and the appliances, etc etc etc. Not to mention a mortgage that will follow you until you're on Medicare. Remember, you can also rent houses and townhomes That gives you the "home" feel, backyard, etc, without the commitment.

Home ownership is not the American dream it used to be. There is no shame in renting! Just my two cents

If you want more info on what you two should do in the coming years, I'd suggest talking to a financial and/or housing counselor.

 

[~free~]

I agree, home ownership is not the Canadian dream either!

My husband and I own our home which we've had for 19 years. Before that, we rented for about 6 years. There are definitely negatives and positives for both. Personally, I love owning my home. Over the past 19 years, my house has had a complete overhaul...it looks nothing like when we bought it...but that has taken 19 years to accomplish. And we're not finished yet! It is an ongoing expense to own, things constantly need fixing and could get costly...tho it helps if you and your husband are handy. Even though you own your house, you need to think of the resale value and keeping it updated.
The problem we had with our apartment tho, it was "tired". It needed serious upgrades and the fight with the landlord was just not worth it. Also, I'm the type that likes to be settled...I don't like packing up and moving.

It's a tough decision and I suggest you take the time you need with it...you are newly married and have plenty of time to decide if you'd like to own a home.

 

[mina]

I prefer owning a home over renting; and in some areas it's cheaper to own a home than to rent. Definitely lower your debt or get completely out of debt b/f taking on a mortgage; save up money that you can put down as a down payment. I bought and owned a house completely on my own as a single and we would both be living there as a married couple if my husband didn't have a really good job here. I still own that home and rent it out. When we were first married, we lived in the upstairs of a town home. It was extremely small, except for a huge living room. We lived there a year. It was frustrating. It was noisy; we heard all the neighbors. It was small. I had to lug the garbage down a flight of stairs. Unfortunately for us, the housing here is not that great- it's either really expensive or completely a run down hovel. But we were in a good position; we were both debt free with lots of savings. We were in the town home, b/c we couldn't find a house before we got married; so we rented-taking that year to search and not feel rushed. We found a home we loved that was in a great neighborhood. Living in a big city, we both had to compromise things in a house that we wanted, but we found a home that had most of what we were looking for. We have had to do a lot of fix-ups; but in a way I like that a lot better than a turn-key house. You end up making it your own. If I were in your situation; I would stick it out for a few years; search through z-illow; get to know the real estate market in your area and what your money will buy you- what will it take to buy the kind of house you want in the area you want- know what you can afford and do not try to take on more than you can afford, take care of debts and have some savings.

 

[sdmsanjose]

When is it best to buy a house? How soon is “too soon”?

Too soon is if both of you are not at least 90% that you both want to buy a home. Your list of “REASON TO BUY and REASONS NOT TO BUY show that you have given this issue some very serious thought and you are articulate in your listing the reasons.

Too soon is when God lets you know that it is too soon.

Too soon is when your financial situation tells you no. Finances involves math and math is an exact science.

My mom and dad are depression people and in the 1950s they bought a house in their 20s. They still own that home and that home is the only home that I have lived in.

I bought our home in the 1970s when my wife and I were in our early 20s, I was 25, and I still own that home and live in it as we speak.

My parents prayed about their home and there is no doubt in any of our minds that the home was a direct answers to prayer (Long story but very convincing). I did not pray about our home and now I think that I could have made a better deal if I had prayed. However, that is just my thinking and besides I am very happy with my home and God has played a HUGE part in my contentment. I do not know if God is disappointed that I did not seek Him for my home but I know that He has blessed me with the finances and that has grown my home from 950 square feet to 2200 square feet

All of our family, Dad/Mom, brother, sister, and I have bought our homes in our 20s and we still have them 30-60 years later. So I can only view your question from our experiences and would say BUY NOW!!

MY Dad bought his home with a 4% mortgage, Brother =6%, me 7% and my baby sister =8%. My sister could have waited until the 1990s to buy her house and got a lower percentage loan 4%-6% but then she would have to wait until she is in her 70s to have her 30 year mortgage paid off. Her Mortgage will be paid off in 5 years at her age 63. The rest of us have our homes paid for.

My way of thinking is that the sooner you buy the sooner you can have the home paid and retire. Yes the interested rate is important but it is better to pay a higher interest rate than to have to wait an extra 10 years to pay off the home. Example one would be you buy a home in your 20s, say 25 years old and you will have it paid at age 65, good regiment age. Example two would be that you buy a home at age 35; then you would pay off at age 75. Who wants to be forced to keep working at 75?

Of course there is the 15 year mortgages but then they demand a higher monthly payment that may not be financial possible.

I realize that same people do not want to think about 30 years from now but that 30 years will come rather our think about it or not!


There are a lot of considerations to take into account when deciding to buy a home but I can only give you our experiences.

 

[sdmsanjose]

Do we scan zillow and talk to realtors? Or do we sit and pray and wait?
Or do both?

This probably is a question that you will be asking yourself your whole life.

I have asked a question my whole life and it goes like this.
“What is my part and what is God’s part?”

Ok now to address your question.
I suggest you do BOTH! Pray, get involved unless not directed not to, and then keep praying and waiting.


In situations like this I pray and say. “God I am excited about this and you know my personality that I want to get involved as I think that some things you expect us to do because you have given us the ability. I also know that when you are the sole decider, and make things happen, that it is always best for us. If I am to only trust you and you are to handle the whole deal then please let me know and I will stay out and just wait upon you. If I get no answer at all then I am gong to get involved but will be watching for any and all signs and direction from you.

The bottom line is that anything that works out for the best of us I will be giving you the credit.

 

[ex-pat]

Honestly, it sounds as if you are not financially ready to own a home. However, that said, what you should do while you wait and save for finances to stabilize is to evaluate the area you feel you want to live in. Talk to realtors in that area...are home prices going up, stabilized, or plummeting? Why? Evaluate whether the municipal services are that you care about are available...for instance: town sewer vs. septic. In many rural areas only septic is available, but in growing rural areas you may discover that there are plans to lay sewer at a HUGE assessment per property. (Which may account for a sudden rise in for sale properties!!). Determine what kind of house you want...traditional, country, modern...be on the same page!! Will either of you work from home if you have children? If so, does your home have enough bedrooms for the number of children you would like God to bless you with, plus space for a home office? Do either of you care about finding furniture quickly/slowly, or can you wait to find used furniture (dining room tables, extra bed frames for spare rooms, etc.) on kijiji or Craigslist? Are either of you handy? Can you (realistically) paint, wallpaper, tile floors? Can you afford, therefore, to buy a fixer-upper, or do you need to buy a house in good shape? Can you afford the property taxes? How many times has the property tax rate in your area gone up in recent years, and by how much? Have you considered the cost of the things you will need to care for even the basics of a home...drills, lawnmower, weed whacker, storage for same, hammers, saws, screwdrivers, etc. Do you both have enough time to maintain a property? You might want to spend some time reading library books about home ownership, basic repairs, etc. Are you near a Home Depot? Often they run free classes for basic DIY things like tiling...take the classes together and learn while you wait. Check the availability of first-time home buyer incentives where you live...one friend I know lived in a city which gave a $5,000 grant to first time buyers to encourage growth. Another city I know has exterior fix-up grants of $2000, which can be used toward painting, new windows, etc. Some cities have lower utility rates than others...some states have income tax rebates for your mortgage insurance. Look into mortgages...having been a mortgage banker, I can assure you that not all mortgages are created equally. In Canada, sometimes you cannot refinance your mortgage without penalty or pay it off early unless you sell the property! Are there good schools, parks, libraries, restaurants, movie theatres, children's activity centres nearby? How close are real grocery stores? If you are rural, will you have rural delivery boxes? Make a list of what you can afford to live without (small town/vs. big cities). Check to see how close hospitals are, how the closest hospital is rated, availability of good doctors, dentists, medical labs, etc. How close to your dream home is the fire department...is it volunteer...and a fire hydrant? Do you have full access to home owner's insurance? (Not all companies insure in all areas of a state or town). Do either you or your husband have companies that offer home owner's insurance discounts, or do matching 401K plans? If you have companies that match your contributions, contribute as much as you can, get the match, and then get use some of that money for your down payment.

Check the for sale ads for fun...drive by neighbourhoods you'd like to live in. When my husband bought our five bedroom riverfront property, he had not intended to buy then....he thought it would be unaffordable. He just happened to be walking through the neighbourhood with a friend and fell in love with the place. It turned out to be far more affordable than he thought, and his was the winning bid, so...we have a heritage home on the river, with deck, balcony off our bedroom, and a screened in front porch everyone loves. He had prayed quite a bit about property ownership, and this was the answer.

We're ALWAYS doing something to the house...it has new windows, a new roof, new hot water heater, new eavestroughs, fresh paint inside and out, and we'll be starting to finish the walk-out basement this year...another full bath, a chapel, two offices (his-n-hers) and a schoolroom for homeschooling when the need arises. We'll be refinishing our deck and bedroom balcony, and landscaping, and building a greenhouse, and all those things that go into dream houses.

We've learned that an awful lot of home catastrophes can be fixed by a guy who can research how-to online and fix it...God bless my husband, who can do basic plumbing repairs, carpentry and painting...all learned after purchasing the house.

Have a good, low interest line of credit that can be used for house emergencies...ask us about the new water heater sometime! Save all you can, don't ever, ever buy as much house as the realtor or your mortgage banker tell you you can afford...try very hard to afford whatever it is on just ONE income...that way when children come along, or if one of you is laid off, there will be no question that you can afford the payments on a mortgage. Also, opt for a fixed rate mortgage if this is a long-term over 5 years) purchase...the rates are slightly higher than variable rate mortgages, but in the states your payment increases if your interest rate goes up (in Canada the payment stays the same, but then you owe at the end to make up the difference). Try to make sure you have at least 20% equity in your home. Our home has doubled in value since we bought it....lovely, but that means the property taxes go up...be prepared. Also, look into things that might cause interest rate reductions...having your payment directly withdrawn, etc.

DO continue to think of things you will use your home for...church things require larger rooms to get more chairs in, for example. Good to know these things in advance!

Best of luck...forgive me for running on so much!