Hmmm a quandry...

[Sascha Fitzpatrick]

I have a voucher for a holiday house to use. It has 3 bedrooms - main with a double bed, the other two can have doubles or two singles.

I have a bunch of friends I'd like to take. One married (christian) couple, one defacto (non-christian) couple, and my bf and I (both christians). We've been friends with the couples for two years (the married and the defacto couple were friends first). Ideally, I would like to give the main bedroom to my married friends, have one room for me and the other girl, and my bf and the other guy to have the other room.

I KNOW the other couple would complain about this, and I don't want to be forcing 'my' rules on them (we've gone on holidays they've planned with them before, where they've shared a room, the married couple have shared a 4 bed room with my bf and I). My bf said he'd sleep in the sleepout in the lounge, so we didn't have to share a room, and the defacto couple could have the other bedroom to themselves.

Am I doing wrong by letting them share a bed, even though they aren't Christians, and I've planned the holiday? I'm pretty much fine with them sharing the room, but I do feel conflicted about what the bible says about me permitting another couple to sin. Just wondering if this carries on to non-christian friends such as them?

Sasch

 

[MagicStar723]

I think you should stick by your rules. am I reading correctly that you got the house? We are supposed to help others over some sin, it could potentially wind up as a great witnessing opportunity by sharing reasons they should share the room. Good luck!

 

[FatBurger]

If they aren't paying for it, they don't really have much room to complain.

 

[E-beth]

By letting them share a bedroom, it seems to them that you are condoning it, which you are not. We are supposed to flee from appearance of evil, and you don't have to make it easy for them to sin, just to make them happy.

Let them know what the arrangements will be ahead of time, so they can choose to go or not. It might end up being not so big a deal to them, and you take a postive stand for the Lord in the process.

 

[Eluzai]

Show them Christ by example not condemnation. What I mean is, lead a good example, but don't tell them what to do with their lives. Laws don't bring salvation, only belief in Jesus, so don't lecture them on laws... share Jesus with them and explain that's why you don't want to sleep in the same room as your b/f. Also pray for them

 

[FaithfulServant]

It seems like a lose-lose situation. If you don't let them share a bedroom, they will probably be grouchy about it the whole time. If you do, then you are aiding them in thier sin, and therefore sinning yoruself. If Jesus were in this situation, I don't think he would let them share a bedroom. Cheers for you and your boyfriend setting a good example!

 

[charligirl]

I understand your quandry, and I'm sure I will shot down for this but If they are not saved then you can't expect them to abide by christian standards - if it was your house then you could say 'not under my roof' but it isn't your house. Do they live together or have a sexual relationship anyway? if so I think it would be hard to try and enforce your rules on them outside of your house.

I would get your bf to sleep on the couch - and be honest with them why YOU choose to do that - set the example and witness but don't force them to live by your rules.

If they were saved then yes of course you have every right to insist - but they aren't and I think trying to make them stop doing something that YOU believe is wrong is not wisdom.

I'm not sure Jesus would have insisted actually, he ate with prostitutes and sinners, he didn't insist they becamse clean first before He hung out with them - we all have a choice, they are adults, how can we expect non christians to live by christian rules when they have no Holy Spirit to convict them and no relationship with Jesus?

 

[flounder7786]

i honestly dont think you are doing anything wrong by letting them share a bed...they ARENT christians, so they dont live by the same things that christians do. I DO think that you should talk to them if it makes you feel uncomfortable, because you are planning this, and you should plan it how you want it...soo if you have a huge problem with it, you should honestly tell them.

 

[LiberatedChick]

I understand your quandry, and I'm sure I will shot down for this but If they are not saved then you can't expect them to abide by christian standards - if it was your house then you could say 'not under my roof' but it isn't your house. Do they live together or have a sexual relationship anyway? if so I think it would be hard to try and enforce your rules on them outside of your house.

I would get your bf to sleep on the couch - and be honest with them why YOU choose to do that - set the example and witness but don't force them to live by your rules.

If they were saved then yes of course you have every right to insist - but they aren't and I think trying to make them stop doing something that YOU believe is wrong is not wisdom.

I agree with this. I think if you try and force sleeping separately on them for this holiday that this may push them away from the Lord and not to Him. Before my husband and I got married we were both non-Christians living together and having sex. If we were asked to go on holiday but sleep separately we definately wouldn't have gone and would have gone away quietly moaning about Christians and Christianity. Basically, it would have given us a reason to slate Christianity rather than accept it.

Plus, as they are non-Christian it's not a sin to them. They have no understanding of why this is sinful. And if they did know that it was a sin to Christians they're belief would be that as they are non-Christian it doesn't apply. After all..why believe in sin if you don't believe in God?

So I say let them share a room as otherwise it'll most likely push them away from the Lord rather than bring them near to Him. However, you and your boyfriend should set an example and let them know why you choose to do this.

 

[FaithfulServant]

Just because they are non-christians and its not a sin to them doesn't make it okay. If they insist on sleeping in the same bedroom, then just don't invite them to come. I wouldn't let an unmarried couple sleep together out of fear that it would bring them away from the Lord. They should respect your decision, and if they are your friends, then they will respect your religion - and how you are not to aid others in sin.

 

[CDN Red Raider]

If they are not saved then you can't expect them to abide by christian standards - if it was your house then you could say 'not under my roof' but it isn't your house. Do they live together or have a sexual relationship anyway? if so I think it would be hard to try and enforce your rules on them outside of your house.

I'm not sure Jesus would have insisted actually, he ate with prostitutes and sinners, he didn't insist they becamse clean first before He hung out with them - we all have a choice, they are adults, how can we expect non christians to live by christian rules when they have no Holy Spirit to convict them and no relationship with Jesus?

[font=Trebuchet MS, Arial, Geneva][font=Trebuchet MS, Arial, Geneva]Le 19:14 - Thou shalt not curse the deaf, nor put a stumblingblock before the blind, but shalt fear thy God: I am the LORD.

There lack of morals does not allow us to condone it. If we are in the position to prevent sin, we cannot allow it. Also, these people cannot be at the house unless Sasch allows them to be so in effect it is her house. She decides who comes and who doesnt and this allows her to decide where people sleep.
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[sweetmercy]

I agree with this. I think if you try and force sleeping separately on them for this holiday that this may push them away from the Lord and not to Him. Before my husband and I got married we were both non-Christians living together and having sex. If we were asked to go on holiday but sleep separately we definately wouldn't have gone and would have gone away quietly moaning about Christians and Christianity. Basically, it would have given us a reason to slate Christianity rather than accept it.

Plus, as they are non-Christian it's not a sin to them. They have no understanding of why this is sinful. And if they did know that it was a sin to Christians they're belief would be that as they are non-Christian it doesn't apply. After all..why believe in sin if you don't believe in God?

So I say let them share a room as otherwise it'll most likely push them away from the Lord rather than bring them near to Him. However, you and your boyfriend should set an example and let them know why you choose to do this.

I agree with these points, too

Jen

 

[charligirl]

[font=Trebuchet MS, Arial, Geneva][font=Trebuchet MS, Arial, Geneva]Le 19:14 - Thou shalt not curse the deaf, nor put a stumblingblock before the blind, but shalt fear thy God: I am the LORD.

There lack of morals does not allow us to condone it. If we are in the position to prevent sin, we cannot allow it. Also, these people cannot be at the house unless Sasch allows them to be so in effect it is her house. She decides who comes and who doesnt and this allows her to decide where people sleep.
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A stumbing block is something that is put in the way as a barrier to the right path to trip you up and stop you getting to the final destination, therefore it could be argued that insisting that they sleep in separate rooms when they have no knowledge of God could be a stumbling block and prevent them from coming to God.

 

[Eluzai]

[font=Trebuchet MS, Arial, Geneva][font=Trebuchet MS, Arial, Geneva]Le 19:14 - Thou shalt not curse the deaf, nor put a stumblingblock before the blind, but shalt fear thy God: I am the LORD.

There lack of morals does not allow us to condone it. If we are in the position to prevent sin, we cannot allow it. Also, these people cannot be at the house unless Sasch allows them to be so in effect it is her house. She decides who comes and who doesnt and this allows her to decide where people sleep.
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But when Jesus is on the cross He lets the jews kill Him when He could have stopped them. Murder is a sin. So is He wrong by the same reasoning?

"If we are in the position to prevent sin, we cannot allow it." - Tell that to Jesus or God...

 

[LiberatedChick]

But when Jesus is on the cross He lets the jews kill Him when He could have stopped them. Murder is a sin. So is He wrong by the same reasoning?

Didn't He at some point say that they didn't know what they were doing? I think it's the same kind of thing here. This non-Christian couple doesn't know really what they're doing...they don't know the consequences of their actions. A good example should be set and someone should explain to them the reasoning behind it. When I was non-Christian I thought many things about Christianity were just plain dumb. After all...why should I follow all these silly rules when I can be free and take care of myself? It wasn't until I had some things explained to me that I started to see that it wasn't so dumb after all. So explanation of things is very helpful in drawing people near to God. However, making someone comply with something that they currently may think is silly or dumb is just like stuffing their ears full of cotton wool before explaining the reasons behind something.

 

[invisiblebabe]

If they really want to have sex, they will do it, whether it would be in a car, in a bathroom, wherever.

I am also assuming they are adults, meaning you cannot be held responsible for their choices. You can ask them if they would like to sleep in separate rooms, but if they say they would not, then they have made their choice.

 

[Eluzai]

Didn't He at some point say that they didn't know what they were doing? I think it's the same kind of thing here. This non-Christian couple doesn't know really what they're doing...they don't know the consequences of their actions. A good example should be set and someone should explain to them the reasoning behind it. When I was non-Christian I thought many things about Christianity were just plain dumb. After all...why should I follow all these silly rules when I can be free and take care of myself? It wasn't until I had some things explained to me that I started to see that it wasn't so dumb after all. So explanation of things is very helpful in drawing people near to God. However, making someone comply with something that they currently may think is silly or dumb is just like stuffing their ears full of cotton wool before explaining the reasons behind something.

Yea!

 

[Sketcher]

I don't really see how you'll get them to cooperate.