hm..

[BrokenForHim]

I've posted here a long time ago telling you guys a bit about my life..and all that fun stuff..but I'm sure if you read this you wont know what I'm talking about so I guess I'll start off by saying....my father is a very mixed up person and he sexually abused me from the age of 3ish up until I was a tween...he no longer lives in the same house as me, I do everything I can to stay away from him...If I hear his name my stomach turns...anything to do with him I get really bad flashbacks...alright so thats enough of telling you about that...anyway...he has a drug problem has for years...and he got Hep. C because of it when I was really little....he is very sick because of it and yesterday my mom forced me to go see him...I hate this man with all my hear...when I saw him I was filled with so many emotions...I guess what I'm trying to get at is I've been waiting for this moment for as long as I can remember "Lindsey your father has less then a month to live" and to be 100% honest with you it doesn't feel as good as I thought it would...why on earth am I feeling sympothy for this man, after what he did to me...I doesn't make sence...I was praying last night because I couldn't fall asleep, and then it hit me...I'm supposed to bring him to Jesus before he dies..I CAN'T do it...I would rather go to hell then spend eternity with this man...I don't know what I'm going to do..I need advice, prayer..whatever you can do to help me figure all this out...(haha sorry about the spelling crap I'm to lazy to go over and spell check it)

 

[Johnnz]

I can understand how you feel. But it could also be opportunity for either confronting him and asking for an apology, or his wanting to do that. That would be helpful to you if he did wouldn't it?

John
NZ

 

[SearchingSister]

I think its very understandable that you feel sympathy for your father. I know what its like to feel confused, because I feel the same way about my brother.

For some reason, when someone is "family" we love them even when they don't deserve our love. And its strange how we can both love and hate someone so much. For me, there are days when I hate my brother more than I love him, and there are other days when I love him more than I hate him. I definitely sympathise with him sometimes.... it's how God made us as humans to sympathise with others.

This must be a difficult time for you, and I'll keep you in my prayers. If your father is dying, now is a good time to approach some things with him. Even if its just writing him a letter if you can't bear talking to him in person. However, I disagree with Johnnz, I think apologies are overrated. "Sorry" is unlikely to help, but being able to forgive or reconcile in some way could help you move on.

As for him being saved, I think first you need to be sure that this is really what God wants you to do, and that its not your own emotions guiding you. Make sure you keep your boundaries.... God certainly wants your father to become a Christian, but He would also want you to be safe emotionally and I think that is the priority.

God Bless

 

[BelindaP]

I understand the part about not wanting to spend eternity with the man. However, the Bible makes promises that nobody in heaven will be unhappy. I don't know if that means we won't remember the bad parts of our lives or not. But try not to let that be the reason you won't witness to him.

If he does come to Jesus, then he will be made into a new man. The Bible terms it "a new creation". He won't be the same man who did those terrible things to you, at least not spiritually. I will pray for you hon, because what God is asking you to do is very painful. I know He will bless you for it, though.

 

[BigToe]

As much as you hate him and what he did to you makes you sick, somewhere in you is this idea of what a relationship with your father should be like. It stinks because it gives you weird emotions when you think you wouldn't have them. After I was raped, I knew someone who asked if I wanted him to arrange for the guy to be beat up. As much as part of me wanted to, I also really really didn't want to. I couldn't bring pain to someone because I knew what being hurt felt like. To have the responsibility of causing that pain intentionally? Heck no! Perhaps somewhere in you is the idea that you can rise above what happened and be the better person. And I have no doubt that you'll be strong and survive this.