His This Scrupulosity?

[liveinpeace99]

Hello
Just joined this excellent board, and a quick
introduction about myself. Although always a believer in Christianity, it was not until I was in middle aged that I decided to get confirmed at an Anglican Church, around a month ago. I tend to be quite sensitive in nature, and will worry a lot, about certain things. And do have in my opinion, “never been diagnose” a mild form of OCD from about the aged of twelve.

So onto the question.​

Since getting Confirmed I have been taking
Communion regularly, without any problems until last Sunday. Anyway while in the process of taking Communion, and remembering Jesus, this sudden intrusive and random thought enter my head. (I will forgive you!) Now I don’t think I mention Jesus at this time, but just can’t remember. In any event I ignore the thought, and carried on remembering our Lords Death and Resurrection. I have a feeling that possibly I just got my thought processes mixed up, and meant (Will you forgive me!) But to tell you the truth I don’t Know. But I do know the more I think of it, the more I worry about it. Did I commit Blasphemy during Communion? Now of course this seems silly, as I did not intend this to happen, and did not speak those words. But keep on having nagging doubts. Incidentally I type in by accident Jesus will not forgive me! while writing this. So you see, this is really playing on my mine now. Any views would be appreciated on this, and I thank you in advance.



Best Regards
William

 

[StephenDM]

It sounds like scrupulosity and OCD. You have an intrusive thought (compulsion) and then worry (obsess) over it. I don't know if for you it is serious enough to require professional help.

The number one prescription for scrupulosity is a constant imersion in the Biblical truths of God's grace to try and move the focus off of our own actions and thoughts (which are ambiguous at best) and onto God's grace expressed through the singular action of Christ's death and resurrection. Reading the various posts in this forum on OCD should help a lot because Christians with scrupulosity have an expressed need for this more than anyone else.

Finally, you can take comfort in the fact that although OCD'ers constantly battle deceptive thoughts, they can be the most honest people in the world because they have such a vivid imagination of their own inability and depravitiy.

 

[gracealone]

HI William,
Welcome to our forum. Lots of caring compassionate people here who really understand how painful OCD can be and especially religious OCD.
The thought that popped into your head during communion could have happened to any Christian. I'm sure that if all Christians could review their entire thought processess they would find that they too have experienced the occasional irrational, doubtful, or ugly intrusive thought pop into their heads.
Here is the difference. If you have OCD tendencies, you won't be able to just brush the thoughts off and get on with life. The very fact that you had the thought will trouble you immensely. You will likely know that the thought is not valid or rational or even believed by you, but it will be there in your head.... knocking on the door of your anxiety center... saying.. "hello.. remember me... pay attention to me... I'm important"!! Then you will do one or more of the following things. You will compulsively battle against the thought by waging war against it either by debating or trying to get reassurance that you don't really believe that way, or using some counter statement to try and undo it in your brain. When you do this the thought gets more stuck in your head and the fact that you can't stop obsessing about it makes it start to seem valid... like maybe it might actually be true. This creates even more anxiety so the obsessing and fighting the thought or thoughts begins to occupy much of your thought life throughout the day. This is the viscious cycle of OCD and the anxiety that accompanies these unwanted, untrusive thoughts is intensely painful.
You may be only mildly afflicted by OCD as some people are and able to function quite normally. But just in case... it's best to put the brakes on right now and to not give the thought the attention that it's demanding or you might end up feeling a whole lot worse.
Glad you found the forum and there are many good posts to read up on which do a much better job describing religious OCD than I can.
God Bless and I'll be praying that you will be able to turn away easily from the thoughts that are bothering you.
Mitzi

 

[junezephyr]

Heya, welcome to CF.

StephenDM and gracealone have done a great job in answering you so far, so I'll just chime in and say that these types of thoughts are common to us obsessive people. Nothing to get stressed out over though. They are intrusive, meaning that they're not the real you.

I don't have much to add except to trust in God in the face of adverse thoughts and feelings, because He is much stronger than the carnal mind.

's to you!

 

[liveinpeace99]

Thank You for your kind and understanding comments.
I am doing my best to fight this affliction, but it seems the harder you try, the worse it is.

I feel myself, that it could be caused by a unrational response for perfection, therefore causing abnormal stress. At least this is how I feel mine started! From then on silly phobias will appear making the situation even worse. But I am hoping for things to improve.

Best
William