Hi. My Name is......

[mustang_94]

Hey everybody, I'm glad to see that not only all the regulars are O.K., but we got new bodys for the grist mill.

Norm, I see you are ignoring my request for your avatar. Well, watch out buddy. I mean when you least expect it, WHAP!

 

[BigToe]

Also, a lot of meetings have child care available. It might be worth going and meeting who would be watching your children to see if they're people you would feel comfortable leaving your children with.

 

[Terri]

In my area I have never seen official child care offered at a meeting.

I have however seen children brought to meetings quiet often. So, Monica I agree with Jim and BigToe about taking your kids to the meetings with you if you cannot get a sitter.

 

[justanobserver]

Hey everybody, I'm glad to see that not only all the regulars are O.K., but we got new bodys for the grist mill.

Norm, I see you are ignoring my request for your avatar. Well, watch out buddy. I mean when you least expect it, WHAP!

sorry. didnt know you were asking for it. if you want to copy it - go right ahead. I got it off someone else at another site way back.

 

[justanobserver]

Thank you for all your input. I've found several meetings in my area. They are all in the evening though. I have bad childcare problems. Dh and I don't have anyone we can leave our kids with and will not leave them with strangers. Dh is not home enough for me to plan on going to meetings when he can watch them. So, I'm thinking I will have to deal with this without the help of AA meetings for now.

I truly hope that is possible and that I'm not kidding myself. After reading about alcoholism and AA meetings online, I have a whole new perspective. I know, now, that having even one drink is like walking into the road while a semi truck is driving toward me at a high rate of speed. One drink, to me, is like jumping off a cliff. I might survive for a while. But, evidentually (probably much sooner than I realize) it will kill me. My poor kids will be left without the only parent they have right now. I have a strong desire not to do that to them.

Can I do this with God's help but without the AA meetings? Or am I kidding myself?

I have been to some AA meetings where kids were present in teh back of the room but the only palce I ever say any "organized" babysiting/daycare during meetings/service was at Celebrate Recovery meetings.

http://www.celebraterecovery.com/

it is a christian based Aa style program. The one I went to some tears ago i really enjoyed - the first night I walked in, I felt at home and felt Something (at elast I will say that in public). several months later, tho, the army shipped me out of the area and that was that.

you might want to check out the 12 Step folder here in recovery - theres some good topics there and a thread on the 12 Steps with biblical passages for it.

 

[Terri]

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[Terri]

Does the celebrate recover only meet once a week or does it have a lot of meetings like AA?

 

[Terri]

Sorry for the silly plane guys. I was totally exhausted last night and when I'm exhausted I get silly.

 

[PrairieGurl]

Not a dry drunk....just feeling 'crappy'.

There's a whole bunch of **** happening in my life... or should I say in the lives of my loved ones. These 'happenings' are just one of the things that would give me reason to drown the pain and reality of these 'circumstances' in a bottle (or two)...yep...didn't give into temptation today. Decided instead to use foul language and isolate myself from everyone.

Thought I'd just vent...to let other's know who may stop by...it sure ain't a bed of roses (this whole recovery thing)

I know this is just a bad moment...or I sure hope it is.

 

[justanobserver]

Not a dry drunk....just feeling 'crappy'.

There's a whole bunch of **** happening in my life... or should I say in the lives of my loved ones. These 'happenings' are just one of the things that would give me reason to drown the pain and reality of these 'circumstances' in a bottle (or two)...yep...didn't give into temptation today. Decided instead to use foul language and isolate myself from everyone.

Thought I'd just vent...to let other's know who may stop by...it sure ain't a bed of roses (this whole recovery thing)

I know this is just a bad moment...or I sure hope it is.

Hey slick! caught me on my way out. just finished up in the military section and am logging off while i am still reasonably cool and collected...

so you used foul language and isolated yourself from folks?? you copying my ways again???? <expletive deleted> hehehehe

some days are good , some days are better and some days, well, lets just say its a good thing that there are laws protecting certain folks.... yes, some days just aint good no matter what you do or how you think. the folks who know me know whan I am in one of them days, i get this "look" and they just smile, say hi and stay away. works for me and mostly for them!

good to see you again.

 

[Terri]

Good morning everyone!

You are all in my prayers.

 

[PrairieGurl]

Hey slick! caught me on my way out. just finished up in the military section and am logging off while i am still reasonably cool and collected...

so you used foul language and isolated yourself from folks?? you copying my ways again???? <expletive deleted> hehehehe

some days are good , some days are better and some days, well, lets just say its a good thing that there are laws protecting certain folks.... yes, some days just aint good no matter what you do or how you think. the folks who know me know whan I am in one of them days, i get this "look" and they just smile, say hi and stay away. works for me and mostly for them!

good to see you again.

Hey Norm

Just to let ya know...it's not all negative...

I truly am grateful to those who do know me and respect (if that's the right word) my need to be alone.
They do realize it's safer for all involved, perse.

 

[LoG]

Sorry for the silly plane guys. I was totally exhausted last night and when I'm exhausted I get silly.

No prob on the "silly" bit. Already knew that about you. I don't see the plane in the Firefox browser but I do in Opera. Too afraid to open IE since my computer will likely be hacked if I do.

Thought I'd just vent...to let other's know who may stop by...it sure ain't a bed of roses (this whole recovery thing)

I know this is just a bad moment...or I sure hope it is.

This recovery thing is a bed of roses when compared to that drinking thing. In recovery I learn to work through those issues and let them go so I no longer have to suffer through them. In my drinking days, I kept going around that same old mountain thinking it was somehow magically going to be different this time around.

Hope you're getting to lots of meetings to compensate for the challenges, Wendy.

You are all in my prayers.

Thanks Terri, I need them, lol. Trying not to get concerned about closing down that business that wasn't making any money anyhow. That was my "mountain".

 

[kanga22]

What's a dry drunk?

How many days do I have to resist drinking before I can start saying, "I'm (this many days) sober? I haven't had a drink since Sunday (14th). Monday I decided that I would try to quit drinking in my thirties. I turned 40 yesterday (Tues), so I had hit my self-imposed deadline. Does that mean I can say I'm two days sober?

I know I have a problem because I've really really wanted a drink about a dozen times already! I keep telling myself to resist that first drink. That the first drink is the beginning of the end for me. I was thinking that venting about it on here would get me through for now, but my computer has been locked up for two days! It's just like God to point out the flaws in my plan, eh?

Am I putting too much pressure on myself to decide that I won't drink in my forties? Or, is a goal like this okay? I would really like to hear all of your healthy coping skills for recovery. I just can't physically get to AA meetings right now. Thanks for being here for me to talk to.

 

[LoG]

Hi Kanga, a dry drunk is someone who is restless irritable and discontent because they cannot experience that sense of ease and comfort that comes from taking a drink. It usually comes as a result of someone attempting to stop drinking without changing anything else in their lives. An alcoholic has spent years getting their R&R by the use of alcohol and now that it is no longer available to them for whatever reason, the stress of day to day living builds up and up. Cravings are usually the result of a trigger of some type. It is through the Steps that we learn to deal with the various things that affect our emotional sobriety.

AA promotes the idea of staying sober for today. For many of us the thought of long term sobriety would drive us around the bend in short order, but when we fix the idea in our heads that it is only for today, it makes the idea more managable.

 

[Terri]

No prob on the "silly" bit. Already knew that about you. I don't see the plane in the Firefox browser but I do in Opera. Too afraid to open IE since my computer will likely be hacked if I do.

Thanks Lion for understanding my "silly" character defect. Hey be brave and try IE. I have it and have never been hacked...well except maybe occasionally by a fellow from Canada.

This recovery thing is a bed of roses when compared to that drinking thing. In recovery I learn to work through those issues and let them go so I no longer have to suffer through them. In my drinking days, I kept going around that same old mountain thinking it was somehow magically going to be different this time around.

Hope you're getting to lots of meetings to compensate for the challenges, Wendy.

I have to agree with you here Lion. The good thing about recovery is that if you keep doing what you need to do then you keep getting better. With the drinking you know your always just going to get worse.

Thanks Terri, I need them, lol. Trying not to get concerned about closing down that business that wasn't making any money anyhow. That was my "mountain".

I am so proud of you for having the courage to change the things that you needed to change. Way to go! May God continue to give you the serenity to accept the things you cannot change, the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

You know in my 7 am meeting this morning I was thinking what an honor it was to sit there with so many people and say the serenity prayer and then at the end of the meeting to stand with our arms around each other and say the Lord's Prayer. What a privilege it is to be able to do that everyday.

 

[Terri]

In the meeting this morning we were reading from the Big Book. Don't remember which chapter, but it was the one giving the advice to the employers on how to help alcoholics.

One fellow that is really into the history of AA said that the fellow that wrote that chapter went back out after his business wasn't doing so well and I think he said that it was Bill W. that had taken some business and his secretary from him when he moved an office or something. OK, my memory is not so great...but I think that is mostly accurate...at least what the fellow said. Please don't quote me on this story as I cannot attest to it's complete accuracy.

I guess he went out and never came back, which is the point of my post. So sad to think that someone could understand alcoholism so well to write a chapter like that and then be lost to alcoholism himself. Made me very sad.

 

[mustang_94]

Lion said it well. Once I take one drink, I'm always started on my next drunk. I know it sounds crazy but it's true. It may be days or even weeks, but I'm going to finish it sooner or later. When I first came to A.A., I could not seem to go more than 3 days without drinking. Something on the inside of me would start to shake. I usually compare it to a box of glasses shaking. When that would start, I was going to have a drink no matter what anyone said. The trouble was that I could not have just one. I wound up drunk each time. After several months of this, I was sent to a rehab where I walked the floor day and night for several days and nights.

There I was taught "one day at a time". After several months of sobriety, I decided that smoking a joint would probably be ok. I mean I'm not drinking, right? Well, Guess how long it was until I had a drink? And got away with just one. Though I noticed that I seemed a little antsy, I was sure I was going to be o.k. because I made it just fine for about 3 weeks. No shaking inside, just a little irritable. Wham! big drunk, 2 days of it. This kind of thing happened several times over some period time.(I really can't keep track of those time periods. But, the above would be within the realm of reality) It happened enough to convince me that if I don't drink TODAY I don't get drunk. Tomorrow, I just make a commitment to not drink Today. One day at a time I haven't drank for 21yrs.

 

[Terri]

Wow mustang_94! 21 years! That is great!

Guess you took them seriously when they said, "keep coming back!"

I'm finding the more I learn to take it one day at a time the better I am.

 

[justanobserver]

Does the celebrate recover only meet once a week or does it have a lot of meetings like AA?

hey terri! sorry I missed you question. It depends on where and who is having it. About 15 miles south of me is a city called Modesto of about 200,000 pop. There are 3 different CR meetings a week held at churches (not all churches sponsor this but will allow it to be held at their location). north of me in Stockton, there is one or two a week at at least 2 different churches.

So, it would depend I guess on where you live, who is having it, etc. where I live, no one has it. one chruch advertised it on their web site but when I called - was told it was cancelled over a year ago and they keep forgeting to remove it from the web site.

So, best to do is go to their web site, click on your state and search from there. The one I went to years ago (well, Feb - Apr 2000) had 2 or 3 meetrings thru the week and I went to the one on Friday nights. I would get off base, drive the hour and half to my ex's apartment, pick up her and the boys and we would all go. at 5pm they had a pizza thing for 5 bucks, at 5pm. was gather together in the audtiorium for singing, testimonies about recovery, meet and greet, etc - the christian side of the program. then dismiss to the AA style meetings where both the Bible and the AA Big Book was used. They also had a room for the kids to go to with adult supervision and for the dependants/supporters, a place that I think was along the line of Al Anon. I dont know if all and every CR is set up this way buit that particular one in Arroyo Grande, CA was.

I was not then (still am not) a christian but I do remember very fondly my experiences there. was the first time I went to a religious meeting where I was acepted for who i was and no one judged me and no one was being judged but all was acepted. there was those that were there just to get their DUI card signed but the most was there because it was "home".

(a church I visited the month before in Jan '00 when I told the asst preacher I was a recovering alcoholic he told me "there was other places for my kind...")

There was 30 or 40 christian recovering drunks and addicts that no one else wanted worshipping God and making folksa like me feel right at home and I was made to feel welcomed. loved even I guess I could say. I still smile with memory of that couple months. then the Army shipped me out of the area and it wasnt pretty after that.

when I think of the remote possibility that God might actually care and that he might love, that experience is what comes to mind.

its hard to explain the impact it had on me. but I dont know if this answered your question but its my thoughts on it.