Hi. My Name is......

[PrairieGurl]

Welcome Back New Creature

I will pray for you in raising your son. This sober thing and dealing with kids sometimes drives one mad!!!

s & s,
Wendy

PS A HUGE for your boy!

 

[PrairieGurl]

Brandy,

What a powerful poem!

Well...today...GREAT! Went to work for my 4 hour shift. Boss was #&**#* (I don't know any 'nice' word to use) The girls were their backstabbing, oh forget it , I'm not going to dwell on that. Had a appointment with my Doc today, he says he knows I can go back to work on full 8 hour days on the 18th of this month. He said I had two choices...believe this 'abuse' will end soon, stand up tall and do what I love to do, take care of 'my' patients and do my work as I am to. Or...because life is so short, look for work elsewhere. He said he was proud of me! (always feels good to hear 'good job')

Two months ago...I would be absolultly stoned and drunk at this moment. Trying to 'squish' the pain. I was actually so proud of myself...I wanted to go have a few drinks to celebrate

I am going to my home group tonight. I've missed two weeks and I've missed my AA Buddies! Thank you so much for your encouragement and support! You've helped me 'stay level' for these past two weeks, and before and I know you'll continue...which I'm grateful for!

I haven't found my AA book yet...but will replace a few phone #s tonite

s & s,
Wendy

 

[justanobserver]

Thank you justanobserver. I found this poem I wrote and thought I could share it with you all, it's one of my favorites, I was feeling HOPELESS when I wrote it.

I stretch forth my hands
blood drips from my finger tips,
I am sickened by the stench
The cess pool of rottenness
rising from.........
Dear God, FROM ME!
What have I done?
The blood on my hands
leaves a stain, Crimson Red
is the color-
I've pleaded night after endless
night for a proper cleansing.
I do not know what else to do....
This must surely
not be a mark I shall carry
as I carry life.......
wearily......
Endless are my days
The voice coming from my mouth
is scratchy and shaky-Tired...
I've screamed for redemption
and I've found...
blood stains, Crimson Red in color
as my companion...
SO, I ask no more
Instead I wearily accept my doom
and carry on as best as I can.
The God I prayed to at the first,
He has apparently gone,
I've tried to reason the blatent
facts of this away,
I stop briefly only to find
the stench continues
to nauseate me;
the Crimson Red blood
dripping from each of my fingers
tells me the horror of what I've
denied
My Guilt, My Crime
I clutch handfulls of hair
with blood soaked hands
I curl up in a ball,
I try to scream but
my voice won't let me howl
Only muffled grunts come in the place
of screams.
Tears swell up inside my body reaching
the surface like a River
nearing the Danger Flood levels but.....
The strongly built levy holds,
though I long for it to burst for relief...
.....It holds....​

Copyright Brandy H. ​

Wow! thats all i can say. tried to write several times a deep thought and all I can come up with is "wow"! The words are straight from the soul.

thank you so much for sharing this. if you got more, post them!

 

[justanobserver]

Hi all!!! Hope you guys are having a great evening or day. Sorry I havn't been able to write for a while. I am having problems with my five year old son. He has gotten into 3 fights at school, has been disruptive and destructive during class, and has lunch detention for three days.

I had to take him out of two daycares b/c he couldn't get along with the other kids and the teachers couldn't handle him anymore. One daycare, he got into a fight at age 4.

I could ignore it and hope for the best when I was drinking, but now I am having to face the challenge of raising him sober. Boy, what a challenge it has been thus far.

I spoke with one of my "sobriety sisters" last night because the urge to drink was so overwhelming. She prob. only said three words the whole conversation, but just being able to share where I am at helped me to put things back into proper perspective.

I am still sober at this moment! But for the Grace of God, there go I!

Take care!

Hey you! Was wondering where you been. Am sorry to hear of your troubles with your son. I wish you patience, love and wisdom in in this.

Am glad you have a fridend to talk to about life an one that undertsands where a recovering alcoholic is coming from. anyone can listen but not everyone can understand. having someone that can do both is a treasure.

am glad you are able to post here today.

 

[justanobserver]

Oh, since this thread is for support and encouragement, just wanted to mention that I got an email from my mom yesterday. She lives in WA state with my stepdad, a recovering alcoholic.

said:

Congradulations
Two years today. Ernie has a coin for
you for 2 years. He mailed it today.
I am very proud of you. Keep it up.
Love mom

yesterday was my 2 year anniversary of being sober! the lkast time I was sober that long was, well, I really honestly dont remember. But its nice to look back at 2 yrs that I really didnt think I could do.

And I am not a christian, most know this, BUT I am a man of honor and I told God back then if He would help me get sober and saty that way, I would tell the world that I asked Him for the help and well, I am sober and I never was able to stay that way before on my own. So.....

 

[justanobserver]

Brandy,

What a powerful poem!

Well...today...GREAT! Went to work for my 4 hour shift. Boss was #&**#* (I don't know any 'nice' word to use) The girls were their backstabbing, oh forget it , I'm not going to dwell on that. Had a appointment with my Doc today, he says he knows I can go back to work on full 8 hour days on the 18th of this month. He said I had two choices...believe this 'abuse' will end soon, stand up tall and do what I love to do, take care of 'my' patients and do my work as I am to. Or...because life is so short, look for work elsewhere. He said he was proud of me! (always feels good to hear 'good job')

Two months ago...I would be absolultly stoned and drunk at this moment. Trying to 'squish' the pain. I was actually so proud of myself...I wanted to go have a few drinks to celebrate

I am going to my home group tonight. I've missed two weeks and I've missed my AA Buddies! Thank you so much for your encouragement and support! You've helped me 'stay level' for these past two weeks, and before and I know you'll continue...which I'm grateful for!

I haven't found my AA book yet...but will replace a few phone #s tonite

s & s,
Wendy

is getting another job elsewhere an option? other hospitals or doctors you can go to? Your job kidna sounds like mine and mine is just a sheetmetal production site! a rinky dink metal making joint that has more games played in it than the Olympics!

But I get to ignore most of them and the other ones I cant ignore, well, they think I am crazy and mostly leave me alone!

I do so hope you get to go to your meeting tonight and re-connect.

You do know I will looking here later for your thread on the meeting..... hehehe yer such a silly goose!

 

[newcreature]

Congrats to you on two years, Justanobserver!!!!

 

[PrairieGurl]

Oh, since this thread is for support and encouragement, just wanted to mention that I got an email from my mom yesterday. She lives in WA state with my stepdad, a recovering alcoholic.

said:

yesterday was my 2 year anniversary of being sober! the lkast time I was sober that long was, well, I really honestly dont remember. But its nice to look back at 2 yrs that I really didnt think I could do.

And I am not a christian, most know this, BUT I am a man of honor and I told God back then if He would help me get sober and saty that way, I would tell the world that I asked Him for the help and well, I am sober and I never was able to stay that way before on my own. So.....

HAPPY 2ND YEAR ANNIVERSAY

Aren't Mom's GREAT!!!

Wendy

 

[PrairieGurl]

is getting another job elsewhere an option? other hospitals or doctors you can go to? Your job kidna sounds like mine and mine is just a sheetmetal production site! a rinky dink metal making joint that has more games played in it than the Olympics!

But I get to ignore most of them and the other ones I cant ignore, well, they think I am crazy and mostly leave me alone!

I do so hope you get to go to your meeting tonight and re-connect.

You do know I will looking here later for your thread on the meeting..... hehehe yer such a silly goose!

There's that 'silly goose' thing again, I know Norm, better than a gander

Ignore, I'm a pro at that...I got two teenage boys!

Got to fly...getting ready for my AA meeting!

Wendy

 

[LoG]

Justan- Congratulations on your 2 years.

To backtrack quickly, God relieved me of the obsession to drink when the time was right. I have faith and trust that He will do the same when the time is right for me to quit smoking.

Formykids- Very powerful poem, thank you for sharing it.

Newcreature- I pray God gives you the strength to face your challenges in a way that manifests His power to change lives.

WantToBe- Here is a quote from the AA Big Book that has really helped me in the past.

Acceptance
Page 449 of the Big Book

And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.
When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place
thing or situation - some fact of my life - unacceptable to me,
and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing,
or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this
moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by
mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober;
unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy.
I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed
in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my
attitudes.

Through the years, many old-timers have said that 95% of the Serenity prayer is about acceptance and 5% about the courage to change the things I can.

 

[PrairieGurl]

Through the years, many old-timers have said that 95% of the Serenity prayer is about acceptance and 5% about the courage to change the things I can.

Okay, so the quote from the AA Book didn't copy here... but thanks for the this caused me. I will underline that paragraph in my Big Book. Tonight we were on Step 8

"Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became wiling to make amends to them all"​

Most people who shared expressed how they had harmed themselves the most. It was a great meeting. (as they all have been...never ending learning, encouragement, and support)

The Serenity Prayer hit me hard tonight. "accept the things I can not change" that would be others actions. "change the things I can" that would be my attitude and reaction to life completely on lifes terms. Now to put this in action.

Wendy

 

[formykidsiwill]

Hi all!!! Hope you guys are having a great evening or day. Sorry I havn't been able to write for a while. I am having problems with my five year old son. He has gotten into 3 fights at school, has been disruptive and destructive during class, and has lunch detention for three days.

I had to take him out of two daycares b/c he couldn't get along with the other kids and the teachers couldn't handle him anymore. One daycare, he got into a fight at age 4.

I could ignore it and hope for the best when I was drinking, but now I am having to face the challenge of raising him sober. Boy, what a challenge it has been thus far.

I spoke with one of my "sobriety sisters" last night because the urge to drink was so overwhelming. She prob. only said three words the whole conversation, but just being able to share where I am at helped me to put things back into proper perspective.

I am still sober at this moment! But for the Grace of God, there go I!

Take care!

Hi NewCreature! I can understand. My oldest son is 13 and all of his life he has been 'headstrong' I use to think I was tough, until he was born. Actually, I call him minime..hehe... I am sorry for your struggles anyway, hang in there and know you are not alone.

Blessings,
B

 

[formykidsiwill]

Brandy,

What a powerful poem!

Well...today...GREAT! Went to work for my 4 hour shift. Boss was #&**#* (I don't know any 'nice' word to use) The girls were their backstabbing, oh forget it , I'm not going to dwell on that. Had a appointment with my Doc today, he says he knows I can go back to work on full 8 hour days on the 18th of this month. He said I had two choices...believe this 'abuse' will end soon, stand up tall and do what I love to do, take care of 'my' patients and do my work as I am to. Or...because life is so short, look for work elsewhere. He said he was proud of me! (always feels good to hear 'good job')

Two months ago...I would be absolultly stoned and drunk at this moment. Trying to 'squish' the pain. I was actually so proud of myself...I wanted to go have a few drinks to celebrate

I am going to my home group tonight. I've missed two weeks and I've missed my AA Buddies! Thank you so much for your encouragement and support! You've helped me 'stay level' for these past two weeks, and before and I know you'll continue...which I'm grateful for!

I haven't found my AA book yet...but will replace a few phone #s tonite

s & s,
Wendy

Hi Wendy! I am proud of you too. It's no easy thing giving up booze.... As far as work I suspect anywhere there is more than one person there will be that kind of behavior. I use to work at a Church daycare (all the women who worked there went to the church) I was young, in my early 20's so I thought wow, this will be great..HA... It turned out to be a traumatic experience. I got kicked out for calling another teacher a bit**!! (Ofcourse, I was wrong for losing it like that) but they ganged up on me and told me to leave, via the back door! (I walked right in front of all of them and wanted to hit them so bad I was shaking lol) anyway, for a long time I wouldn't go back to church there until I had to grow up and realize they are only human beings..... anyway, thought I'd share that little story with you..

Hope your meeting went well....

Blessings,
B~

 

[formykidsiwill]

Oh, since this thread is for support and encouragement, just wanted to mention that I got an email from my mom yesterday. She lives in WA state with my stepdad, a recovering alcoholic.

said:

yesterday was my 2 year anniversary of being sober! the lkast time I was sober that long was, well, I really honestly dont remember. But its nice to look back at 2 yrs that I really didnt think I could do.

And I am not a christian, most know this, BUT I am a man of honor and I told God back then if He would help me get sober and saty that way, I would tell the world that I asked Him for the help and well, I am sober and I never was able to stay that way before on my own. So.....(thank you for sharing that!)

Happy 2 year! That is wonderful.

Blessings,
B~


ps I have LOTS of poems, I'll share some more.

Unfortunately, I don't write now that I'm not in the pit of hell...lol.... I wish I could though, it's in me but bringing it to the surface is difficult when I'm not in extreme pain.

 

[PrairieGurl]

Hi Wendy! I am proud of you too. It's no easy thing giving up booze.... As far as work I suspect anywhere there is more than one person there will be that kind of behavior. I use to work at a Church daycare (all the women who worked there went to the church) I was young, in my early 20's so I thought wow, this will be great..HA... It turned out to be a traumatic experience. I got kicked out for calling another teacher a bit**!! (Ofcourse, I was wrong for losing it like that) but they ganged up on me and told me to leave, via the back door! (I walked right in front of all of them and wanted to hit them so bad I was shaking lol) anyway, for a long time I wouldn't go back to church there until I had to grow up and realize they are only human beings..... anyway, thought I'd share that little story with you..

Hope your meeting went well....

Blessings,
B~

Morning B~

Meeting went FAB! It was so good to be there. It really does feel like home!

Yes, humans are human. I am no different. I will love them thru Jesus, and continue to do my job with joy

s & s,
Wendy

 

[ProPhotog]

Hi all. I'm hoping to make today my first day of recovery. I'm praying very hard for strength.

 

[LoG]

Hi all. I'm hoping to make today my first day of recovery. I'm praying very hard for strength.

Hi ProPhotog, welcome and God bless.

 

[PrairieGurl]

Hi all. I'm hoping to make today my first day of recovery. I'm praying very hard for strength.

HI ProPhotog!!!

Congrats on your 1st day of recovery!

​

I will join you in prayer for God to give you strenth!​

s & s,
Wendy​

 

[LoG]

Too bad we don't have a way to give out a 24 hour sobriety chip.

 

[PrairieGurl]

Too bad we don't have a way to give out a 24 hour sobriety chip.

You mean there isn't???