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Hi. My Name is......

justanobserver

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hey to all. been a while since I posted here. somedays I spend a lot of time in these threads andother days I shy away. weird, huh. anyone else get like that sometimes?

today, I was on a delivery run with another guy from work (sheet metal/HVAC products) and when we stopped at a truck stop to get fuel for our truck, I saw a Army wrecker (bigger field version of a civilian tow truck) in the next pump lane. The driver and co driver were in civilian coveralls - they were civilian employess working for a compnay that has a maintenance contract for the vehicles - combat and GSA.

As we was pumping fuel, I went over to say hello and wish godspeed for serving, etc. SHOCKER!! - the passenger was someone I served with years ago in the Army!!!!!!!!! He got out a couple years after I did.


We grinned, shook hands, smiled, did some catching up, dropepd names and places and who is retired, dead, serving still, etc. My former career came up and my getting out abruptly came up as well. He remembered I drank heavy back then and seemed to remember I was going to go to Rehab and then I was gone from the unit.

We chatted a bit more, told him I lost it all (retirement, family, etc) due to my drinking and it took a few more years after getting out to finally see the need to stop.

Anyhoooos, talking to him about the past opened up a big footlocker of memories that drinking excessibly was a big part of.

Looking back at those days I am amazed I survived. I am coming up on 3 yrs sober this coming September (also 4 yrs clean) and I can see losing my retirement - was only 2 years short of retiring - was the best thing that happened to me. If I had somehow stayed in, only God knows how bad I would be by now if I would even be alive.

Hi, My name is Norm and I am a recovering alcoholic.
 
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mustang_94

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Hey to all,
My job is eating my lunch!!! I no sooner finished the seven day a week mess (avg.70 hrs.) and they send me here to do a six week job in 4 weeks. I'm getting sooo tired. I keep thinking to myself, Don't get too angry, lonely or tired. Boy, I got them all. "whine"
But, I'm making lots of money. Anyone want to help me spend it? "Laughing a lot out loud."
It's good to know you are all here and doing well. I'm really missing this place. Just don't have much energy when I get off. Sleeping a lot more when I can.
Thanks for listening,
JIM
 
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kanga22

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Hey everybody. I'm doing alright. You know, one day at a time. :) I'm five months and one week sober today.

I thought about starting a thread about the last thing you'd do before you die. If you knew it was your time and you could choose one thing to do, without reprecusions, what would it be? Then I realized that my one thing would be to drink myself to unconsciousness. I thought that no one would "get that" except the ppl here, so I'm only telling you. :)

Does this mean that I'm close to a slip? Or is it no big deal? Do you all also wish you could drink just one more time?

Recently my husband took us to a resturant and drank in front of me. It was kind of a test to see how well I could handle it because it was the first time he drank since I quit in January. It might have been alright, but he drank a lot, and I had to drive us home. :( I must admit, I was jealous that I couldn't do the same. Do you let ppl drink in front of you? Cause, clearly, I'm not ready for that. Will I ever be?
 
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kanga22

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Hey to all,
My job is eating my lunch!!! I no sooner finished the seven day a week mess (avg.70 hrs.) and they send me here to do a six week job in 4 weeks. I'm getting sooo tired. I keep thinking to myself, Don't get too angry, lonely or tired. Boy, I got them all. "whine"
But, I'm making lots of money. Anyone want to help me spend it? "Laughing a lot out loud."
It's good to know you are all here and doing well. I'm really missing this place. Just don't have much energy when I get off. Sleeping a lot more when I can.
Thanks for listening,
JIM

Me, me! I'll help you spend your money. :thumbsup: Hope work lets up for you soon. :)
 
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LoG

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Does this mean that I'm close to a slip? Or is it no big deal? Do you all also wish you could drink just one more time?

Heyas Kanga. For myself I wouldn't drink again even if there were no repercussions. I'll admit though that didn't come right away for me.
At about 6-7 months sobriety when I was doing Steps 8-9 I came to realize that I could get from God through the program and the Steps, the very things I was trying to get out of the booze for all the years I drank.
It was at that point that I stopped running from my bottom and started to run for recovery. From there on the obsession to drink was lifted and except for a few occasions where I had quick temptation the desire to ever partake again was gone.

Today when I see people who have had too much to drink the first thought that comes to mind is "but for the grace of God".
 
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Garnet2727

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Hi Kanga.

I can relate. I really liked drinking. I loved being buzzed and better yet, I could tumble into bed and sleep the entire night through. Unlike now where I toss and turn and wake up every blasted stinking hour on the hour. Sometimes, I really, really want just a few beers ya know? Maybe just a 6-pack. It would only be one time. I could do it on my next business trip. After all, I'll be alone in my hotel room for several hours. No one would know....

Of course all that silly self-talk conveniantly ignores the times I drank until I passed out, the horrible things I put my husband through, the mornings when I was so badly hungover I could barely get out of bed and the way I would reek of alcohol, sometimes still half-drunk the next day.

I dunno if I'll ever get past wanting to drink. I just don't know. I hope so...but I'm not holding my breath.

Being around people who drink a lot bothers me now. It's not being judgemental on my part...I want to join the fun. So...I just try to avoid those situations.

I don't go to AA or any other program, but the old adage does hold true for me.

One day at a time. :)
 
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Healed_IHS

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I came to realize that I could get from God through the program and the Steps, the very things I was trying to get out of the booze for all the years I drank.

AMEN TO THAT! I was sitting in church Wednesday evening and it was a small service (3 people), I had a realization -- here is what I was looking for.. The soul stilling (is that a word? - is now) tranquility... the sense of purpose, that I did not have when "in my cups".

Today when I see people who have had too much to drink the first thought that comes to mind is "but for the grace of God".

So true, I saw a man who was drunk at the bus stop (his eyes were sooo bloodshot, there was no white in them at all). He was complaining he lost $100 on the bus. I've lost so many things due to my drunkenness I honestly felt compassion for him. Thanks be to God, I don't need to live like that anymore.
 
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justanobserver

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Hey to all,
My job is eating my lunch!!! I no sooner finished the seven day a week mess (avg.70 hrs.) and they send me here to do a six week job in 4 weeks. I'm getting sooo tired. I keep thinking to myself, Don't get too angry, lonely or tired. Boy, I got them all. "whine"
But, I'm making lots of money. Anyone want to help me spend it? "Laughing a lot out loud."
It's good to know you are all here and doing well. I'm really missing this place. Just don't have much energy when I get off. Sleeping a lot more when I can.
Thanks for listening,
JIM

Hey Jim!!! hows things?? know what you mean about being tired after getting off work. I dont do 70/80- hour weeks anymore but soimetimes 40 is hard enough!

You need help spending all that money? Come on down to the central valley here in CA and I know of some good steak houses!

Heres to wishing you getting some rest. :wave:
 
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justanobserver

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Hey everybody. I'm doing alright. You know, one day at a time. :) I'm five months and one week sober today.

I thought about starting a thread about the last thing you'd do before you die. If you knew it was your time and you could choose one thing to do, without reprecusions, what would it be? Then I realized that my one thing would be to drink myself to unconsciousness. I thought that no one would "get that" except the ppl here, so I'm only telling you. :)

Does this mean that I'm close to a slip? Or is it no big deal? Do you all also wish you could drink just one more time?

Recently my husband took us to a resturant and drank in front of me. It was kind of a test to see how well I could handle it because it was the first time he drank since I quit in January. It might have been alright, but he drank a lot, and I had to drive us home. :( I must admit, I was jealous that I couldn't do the same. Do you let ppl drink in front of you? Cause, clearly, I'm not ready for that. Will I ever be?

Hey kanga! good seeing you again! I dont think your close to a slip - there are some days you can drink my favorite brand right in front of me and I could care less and there are other days that its al lI can think of and I will go to great lengths not to see someone drink in front of me. I share a house with an alcoholic relative and it can at times be trying.

If you feel your not ready for someone to drink in front of you, then dont let them or dont be there when they do.
 
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justanobserver

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Hi Kanga.

I can relate. I really liked drinking. I loved being buzzed and better yet, I could tumble into bed and sleep the entire night through. Unlike now where I toss and turn and wake up every blasted stinking hour on the hour. Sometimes, I really, really want just a few beers ya know? Maybe just a 6-pack. It would only be one time. I could do it on my next business trip. After all, I'll be alone in my hotel room for several hours. No one would know....

Of course all that silly self-talk conveniantly ignores the times I drank until I passed out, the horrible things I put my husband through, the mornings when I was so badly hungover I could barely get out of bed and the way I would reek of alcohol, sometimes still half-drunk the next day.

I dunno if I'll ever get past wanting to drink. I just don't know. I hope so...but I'm not holding my breath.

Being around people who drink a lot bothers me now. It's not being judgemental on my part...I want to join the fun. So...I just try to avoid those situations.

I don't go to AA or any other program, but the old adage does hold true for me.

One day at a time. :)

Hey Garnet!!!!!!!!!!! How you be? It is good to see you around again!
 
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justanobserver

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*huggles on Norm* I be good. My hiatus from CF did me a world of good.

How you be?

doin ok. tired mostly. my son finally got his trial/sentencing/etc over with. finally. he stays in jail, gets transferred to my om out of state, goes to in house rehab amd then 5 yrs probation.

no prison. had folks pray and others send good thoughts so this mnust be what it is to be.

I hope he learns this time. next time the judge aint gonna be so gracious.

can understand taking a step back from CF (or any other site that can be time /mind consuming). Time to time, I will take mini breaks from here.

a lot of times I just lurk/read and not post. sometimes one grows more and learns more by listening rather than talking, or here, reading rather than telling. least wise it is with me.

but it is good to see you again, old friend!
 
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justanobserver

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When I see someone drinking I struggle a bit. It is made easier because I have this small cross on my wallet chain. When it happens, I grab on to it, pray, center myself, and remember what it's really all about.

it takes what it takes to do what you need to do for you.

somewtimes when I get in a stinkin frame of mind, I have some older photos of me in my worse days of drinking/using on my harddrive and I will look at them. It serves to remind myself what I use to look like and the foggy memories of those times come back and it helps to remember me why I am clean and sober today.
 
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justanobserver

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Greets My Kindred
My name is Larry (aka notwrapped) a very grateful recovering alcoholic.Just joined the board and thought I would pop in to say "Hey". Glad to be here!!

Howdy Larry! :wave: My name is Norm. Welcome to the recovery threads. theres a lot of good folks that post around here.
 
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