Hi everyone. I'm someone who's very, VERY serious about becoming a Christian; and I desperately need guidance from you guys to clear all my doubts before I make my decision!
So, anyway...for the past 20 years, I had been a militant atheist. I've had grown up to believe that the universe created itself; that the Bible is primitive, backwards and unworthy of attention. I believed that religion undermines science and hated religion with a passion. I constantly ridiculed religion online. And just within the last 24 hours, I have heard God's voice.
Anyway, it all started a couple days ago, when I had an epiphany.
I suddenly realized that logic and reasoning demands the existence of a God. I realized that my atheism was based on a flawed methodology. I simply ''woke up'' all of a sudden, as if I were a new person; like never before.
I immediately re-watched all the ''does God exist'' debates. The theist debater, whom I used to mock, now made perfect sense; while the atheist debater, whom I used to admire, now failed so miserably at logic that he even seemed comical.
Then I recollected what I knew about the Scripture. Everything that I used to regard as savage and ridiculous suddenly made sense now...it just...makes sense.
So the next thing I did was read the Scripture and watch debates about the Resurrection of Jesus. Mind-blown by how historically significant the Gospels actually are, I've decided that it is logical to believe that Jesus rose from the dead.
But here's the most crucial thing that really made me decide to evaluate this new faith. As I said in the beginning, it happened within the last 24 hours...
So basically my father tripped over and broke a bone. He's currently hospitalized. I don't know if this is a coincidence.
Even though I recognized this as a situation where I should pray for someone, I felt really reluctant to do so. My father is an unsuccessful, narcissistic and insecure man; my relationship with my father has been very remote. But last night, I still felt compelled to pray (for the very first time).
So I prayed for the very first time. I tried to pray for my father, but ego kept me from uttering the words. I simply just asked God to reveal answers about Himself to me. And then the most inexplicable experience in my life happened.
Warm currents suddenly started to flow rapidly in my body, as if I turned into an ocean under a hurricane. I genuinely felt a warm deep voice speaking inside my heart, which said: ''OK, here are the answers.''
And then, the warm energy in my body started to converge toward my heart, which took the form of a box. I reached out my hands and tried to open it, but it was locked. I tried to open it by force, but to no avail. Then the currents fade and the temperature drops...everything returned to normal.
Then there was this peaceful feeling...although I didn't get the answers, I was relieved that I was assured of answers.
I stood awake for the rest of the night. That experience was too vivid to be a dream. To be as rational as possible, I examined the possibilities of wishful thinking, placebo effect and even hallucination. Of course, I REALLY wish that it was God; but I can't be 100% certain.
So...here I am, searching for answers. Do any of you guys have similar experiences? What would you say about your relationship with God? Either way, it's gonna be a lot of Scripture reading and hanging around CF for me these days
So, anyway...for the past 20 years, I had been a militant atheist. I've had grown up to believe that the universe created itself; that the Bible is primitive, backwards and unworthy of attention. I believed that religion undermines science and hated religion with a passion. I constantly ridiculed religion online. And just within the last 24 hours, I have heard God's voice.
Anyway, it all started a couple days ago, when I had an epiphany.
I suddenly realized that logic and reasoning demands the existence of a God. I realized that my atheism was based on a flawed methodology. I simply ''woke up'' all of a sudden, as if I were a new person; like never before.
I immediately re-watched all the ''does God exist'' debates. The theist debater, whom I used to mock, now made perfect sense; while the atheist debater, whom I used to admire, now failed so miserably at logic that he even seemed comical.
Then I recollected what I knew about the Scripture. Everything that I used to regard as savage and ridiculous suddenly made sense now...it just...makes sense.
So the next thing I did was read the Scripture and watch debates about the Resurrection of Jesus. Mind-blown by how historically significant the Gospels actually are, I've decided that it is logical to believe that Jesus rose from the dead.
But here's the most crucial thing that really made me decide to evaluate this new faith. As I said in the beginning, it happened within the last 24 hours...
So basically my father tripped over and broke a bone. He's currently hospitalized. I don't know if this is a coincidence.
Even though I recognized this as a situation where I should pray for someone, I felt really reluctant to do so. My father is an unsuccessful, narcissistic and insecure man; my relationship with my father has been very remote. But last night, I still felt compelled to pray (for the very first time).
So I prayed for the very first time. I tried to pray for my father, but ego kept me from uttering the words. I simply just asked God to reveal answers about Himself to me. And then the most inexplicable experience in my life happened.
Warm currents suddenly started to flow rapidly in my body, as if I turned into an ocean under a hurricane. I genuinely felt a warm deep voice speaking inside my heart, which said: ''OK, here are the answers.''
And then, the warm energy in my body started to converge toward my heart, which took the form of a box. I reached out my hands and tried to open it, but it was locked. I tried to open it by force, but to no avail. Then the currents fade and the temperature drops...everything returned to normal.
Then there was this peaceful feeling...although I didn't get the answers, I was relieved that I was assured of answers.
I stood awake for the rest of the night. That experience was too vivid to be a dream. To be as rational as possible, I examined the possibilities of wishful thinking, placebo effect and even hallucination. Of course, I REALLY wish that it was God; but I can't be 100% certain.
So...here I am, searching for answers. Do any of you guys have similar experiences? What would you say about your relationship with God? Either way, it's gonna be a lot of Scripture reading and hanging around CF for me these days