Hey Singles!

[bended_knees]

Hey gang, I'm new here of course so I'll try not to say anything too out of line.(Please go easy on me!! ) I've been looking over the singles forum a little and I did notice a bit of a trend. I hope no one is too offended by my saying this but it seems like alot of the topics were "What I want in a guy/gal," "What I look for in a future mate," "Why can't I find the right person?".... so on and so forth. While I realize it's good to know what you want in a future mate and to have Godly standards when looking for "Mr./Ms. Right", I think sometimes we focus too much on what we want and not on what God wants. I know because I find myself falling into the same trap quite often. We keep thinking of the things that we want in our "ideal mate" but, what about ourselves? Are we growing daily? Are we becoming the person that our future spouse wants? Will we be able to fulfill their needs and desires when we finally meet them? More importantly, what about the person God wants us to be? I guess I just wish that we(myself included) would focus more on becoming the "ideal husband/wife" ourselves rather than focusing on what we want all the time.... but of course it's easier to say than do hehe.(I know, I find myself bemoaning my current singleness from time to time as well haha.) Well I just pray that by the time my future wife comes around that God will have helped me to grow to be the kind of man she needs, cause I don't want to let her down! Haha...

I dunno gang, don't mind me haha.... just a lil "thinking out loud" on my part I guess. I'm new here and thought maybe an outsider's perspective would help...... or maybe not. Anyway, thanks for your time.----Matt

Oh yeah! "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." ---Matthew 6:33

 

[Apollonian]

Ironically, the trend that I see is that for all the moaning, groaning, plotting, and pruning that goes on in the forum, there is always someone who comes in to say "we shouldn't focus on these things but instead look to God"

Looking to God is great, don't get me wrong. I just find it funny that the trend goes both ways, simply depending on the person and situation. Mainly, I think this forum is just a fanciful and/or frivolous way to bide time until one's circumstance changes.

All is meaningless, a chancing after the wind, compared to the service of the LORD God. So long as we understand that, it's "Eat, drink, and take pleasure in your work, for that is the sole purpose of man" (Qoheleth the teacher, Ecclesiastes)

-Apollonian

 

[eutychus]

I guess I just wish that we(myself included) would focus more on becoming the "ideal husband/wife" ourselves rather than focusing on what we want all the time.... but of course it's easier to say than do hehe

Amen! That is exactly what we should be about. God has gifted us with this season of singleness not only so we can be free to be involved in ministry, but also to prepare ourselves for our future! Thanks for bringing that up.

 

[bended_knees]

All is meaningless, a chancing after the wind, compared to the service of the LORD God. So long as we understand that, it's "Eat, drink, and take pleasure in your work, for that is the sole purpose of man" (Qoheleth the teacher, Ecclesiastes)

-Apollonian

Yes friend, the teacher did talk about those things in Ecclesiastes 2:24, and you are right he did call them a chancing after the wind, but just for kicks I'd like to throw in Ecc 12:13 where the crazy guy(Qoheleth) gets to the point of the whole book. It reads, "Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man." (Ecc 12:13) and furthermore in Matthew 16:26 Jesus himself says, "What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul."(Matt 16:26) Two sound reasons why I have to go with the "Turn to God" attitude rather than the "why me" attitude haha.
Yeah, I guess on the OP I was just trying to say if we spent as much time improving/working on/growing ourselves as we do looking/longing for Mr/Ms "Right"..... I dunno, I think we'd be moving in a better more Christian direction. Any other way to live just seems selfish and wordly. (Forgive me for my tactlessness.) I'm definately not trying to "rock anyone's boat" or offend. It's just some stuff I've been thinking of lately and wondered what others would think.-----In Christ, Matt

 

[Apollonian]

On the other hand, Qoheleth also says this...

9 Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun- all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun. (Ecclesiastes 9:9 - NIV)

One can err either way. If you put too much effort in the seeking, and not in obeying, God, then you may lose sight of those things we are called to enjoy in this life. Hence, my point is that both things are good. Some people have trouble with dwelling too much on dating. Others, myself included, have trouble with ignoring dating perhaps too much in favor of reading, study, and meditation on God and Life.

In all things, seek moderation.

 

[gsmithcat]

In all things, seek moderation.

I think Apollonian makes a good point here. If we take Ecclesiases 12:13

Now all has been heard;
here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God and keep his commandments,
for this is the whole duty of man.

and Ecclesiastes 7:16-18

16 Do not be overrighteous,
neither be overwise-
why destroy yourself?
17 Do not be overwicked,
and do not be a fool-
why die before your time?
18 It is good to grasp the one
and not let go of the other.
The man who fears God will avoid all extremes.

We reach this conclusion, but what does this mean for our lives as singles?

 

[Blank123]

Actually yes, I am trying to work on who I am as a christian, and grow in my faith and walk in the Lord. I believe its very important to spend these years as a single person growing as a christian.

But does that mean that I can't want to have that special guy in my life?

 

[eutychus]

But does that mean that I can't want to have that special guy in my life?

Depends how much/if you worship (in any degree) the idea of having a special guy in your life, I suppose!