He's confused...

[blissfullyamy]

I don't know where else to go and ask for advice. Since I felt this question is more appropriate for my type of questions, I thought I'd give it a shot.

I'm in love with a non-Christian man. Enough said. We've been together for nearly 5 years, 4 years of living together, and we have our ups and downs. I already took my responsibility to witness and share the good news with him by bit and bit. But I feel I don't want to wait any longer. I want to get married. I'm almost 30. I can deal with ups and downs in a relationship with non-Christian, look at me past 5 years, it wasn't too bad. He's basically a good guy, patient, funny and caring. But he's not very into religion as he called it. Going to church, things like that.

Lately, I started going to church again. I brought up issues like church, what kind of life, children, things like that. He was a little taken back by my ideas of lifestyle that includes continuing growing in Christ. He was not sure if he accepts so much "religion" in lifestyle and he felt confused. It's kinda scaring him anyway and he told me that he's confused. But we're not done with discussion. I just feel really sad because he can't get it. It's not just about religion or going to church.

I feel extreme sadness about the whole thing. Why would he be confused? It's not like I'm trying to put down rules or anything. I'm not trying to lead a perfect life either. Am I too strong on my approach?

Amy

 

[unjustwar]

Not wise to marry a non-christian. He may be the most loving person but your goals will be opposite. You will have God as number one and he will have other things or you as number one. A strong marriage has God in the center of it.

 

[gracefaith]

Amy,

I'm not surprised that he's confused and scared. You're changing after all! This happens some times. I want to really encourage you to pursue you return to church and your relationship with God! This may cause a rough patch with you BF, but it's really important that you be honest with yourself, your desires and with him. I know that the two of you have been together for a long time, but in long run, you will never be happy if you aren't true to yourself.

Don't settle for less than you want and deserve. You want to get married? You want to go to church? Good. If he doesn't want to go the distance with you, it's time you find out and look for someone who does.

Take heart. There are plenty of great men out there and it's so important that you be with someone who shares core values of marriage and religion.

GRACE

 

[Sketcher]

It doesn't sound like you're coming on too strong. But don't marry him unless he seriously converts. Heck, you shouldn't even be living together.

 

[lady_of_god]

I have to agree with the posters above and especially twistedsketch. Your not setting the best example by living with him and plus you have already compromised your beliefs by doing that alone.

If you've been together this long and he doesn't want to take the leap, than chances are he doesn't intend to probably for a long time to come. It would not be good for you to be unequally yoked to an unbeliever, you would be headed for huge problems.

The only thing I can suggest is to pray and ask the Lord what you should do next about the relationship. Please be open to what the Lord says (in favor of what you want or not) and be willing to follow God's call.

-Lady

 

[blissfullyamy]

Thanks, everybody, for your responses. I'm still on the fence on this. I've prayed and it bothers me a great deal. I used to think he is a keeper, but from what we've discussed so far, he's still not ready to get married nor views himself in a positive light. Recently, he said that he felt that he knew his answer -- that he would live a short life and that there's no point of getting married or whatever. I was upset over that because what kind of a person who thinks like that? Of course, he was drinking a bit. I am starting to feel I'm waiting too long for anything to materialize and I noticed myself losing motivation in keeping up with the relationship with him. Is this a sign of an end?