He's a pushover!

[eyeliv4God]

I always tell my boyfriend, Jeremy, that his heart is too big for his own good sometimes. He's a pushover and lets people walk all over his heart like it's a welcome mat. I feel really sorry for him because he does things for people that he might not want to and he doesn't speak his mind. Because of these things, he ends up getting hurt a lot of times.

He's basically a pushover. I always encourage him to stay strong and firm, to stand his ground when he should and he does... but only when I remind him. He admits that he's kind of a pushover and a wimp.

Is there a way I could help him?

 

[joeman1]

I am the same way as your b/f I wish I knew what to tell you to help him but honsetly it has to come from inside of himself. He has to be tired of people using him before he can stand up for himself. I know because I am just now getting to that point. Its hard and very scary to do. Just continue to give him encouragement and most of all let him know that you appreciate him. That will help him more than anything right now.

 

[invisiblebabe]

Jeremy sounds like my mom. The only way I can help her is to encourage her to be more tough-minded in situations where people ask for her help or where people want things from her. It helps in these situations if you make decisions with your mind and not with your heart.

 

[Sketcher]

Jeremy sounds like my mom. The only way I can help her is to encourage her to be more tough-minded in situations where people ask for her help or where people want things from her. It helps in these situations if you make decisions with your mind and not with your heart.

Sounds like my roomate. When he brings up stuff about how he wants to help people and hears my opinion which is usually far less graceful than his, that's the only way I can help him. His mentor's been trying to work with him on that too.

He needs another good friend - preferably male - to do this for him in his life. You're doing right, but a SO isn't enough to fix stuff like this.

 

[eyeliv4God]

You're doing right, but a SO isn't enough to fix stuff like this.

I wish it was because he's just a sweet country guy and the only friends he has are the ones that are walking all over him. It hurts me to see him unable to defend himself. I kind of have to ask myself, "What's he so afraid of?"

 

[want2modmygt]

twist, i have to disagree with you. an SO is someone who can do what needs to be done. SO's are like best friends. always there and standing strong.

 

[~Beauty_from_Pain~]

My bf is sort of like yours. He is so sweet and wonderful and just likes to help people. Sometimes though they walk over him and I'm not sure he even notices. It bothers me because I want him to stand firm. He is trying to work at being more assertive so...but just remember that you fell in love with him because he is sweet, etc. Along with this sweetness comes the passiveness....can't always have one without the other...lol

 

[eyeliv4God]

twist, i have to disagree with you. an SO is someone who can do what needs to be done. SO's are like best friends. always there and standing strong.

Yeah, Jeremy's my best friend and I'm his.

 

[joeman1]

I wish it was because he's just a sweet country guy and the only friends he has are the ones that are walking all over him. It hurts me to see him unable to defend himself. I kind of have to ask myself, "What's he so afraid of?"

I have been there exaclty where you guy is at. Let me just say that this is from my past experience and my personal thoughts at the time. I felt like if I didn't let people walk over me and be a pushover that no one would like me they would all get mad at me and then I would be all alone with out even one friend. My little brother is also going through the same thing and he feels exactly the same way. We both know that those people aren't truly our friends but the desire to have friends outweighed the negative impacts. It also led me to seperate myself from all of my friends even the good ones that were trying to encourage me. Once I realized that I knew that I had to change. Its sad to say but sometimes it takes drastic things to make you want to change.

 

[Catholic Wife]

I always tell my boyfriend, Jeremy, that his heart is too big for his own good sometimes. He's a pushover and lets people walk all over his heart like it's a welcome mat. I feel really sorry for him because he does things for people that he might not want to and he doesn't speak his mind. Because of these things, he ends up getting hurt a lot of times.

He's basically a pushover. I always encourage him to stay strong and firm, to stand his ground when he should and he does... but only when I remind him. He admits that he's kind of a pushover and a wimp.

Is there a way I could help him?

My husband is like this in many ways. I see him as having a heart like Jesus in that he doesn't get angry over little things. But, I know that he will stand up for himself when he feels pushed too far.

As for helping him, just keep encouraging him to stand up for himself when he needs to and maybe role-play with him (give him scenarios).

 

[nahMish]

get him to read ' wild at heart' by john eldridge. its about being a TRUE man GOD"S way, not being a PUSHOVER. PLEASE, PLEASE get it and read it, its absolutely BRILLIANT...

 

[Tuffguy]

Guys like this have some hard times ahead. If it bothers you i think you should seriously consider a different guy,,,guys don't change. We are the way we are.

I always thought a pushover was someone like me,,, a little cocky and opinionated. ?

 

[HisLittleHazelnut]

Just like my fiance. I'm his best friend, and he is mine. I'm not a pushover, but neither do I have any other friends that I can actually be with (they all live in Canada or elsewhere!)
My fiance lets his family walk all over him in something called "obey your father and mother." He's 22.

He finally made his own decision and decided to go to the bible school I went to that helped me.

 

[Eric10]

I'm a huge pushover =(
I haven't found a cure, but if I do, I'll tell you!

 

[hasnoname]

get him to read ' wild at heart' by john eldridge. its about being a TRUE man GOD"S way, not being a PUSHOVER. PLEASE, PLEASE get it and read it, its absolutely BRILLIANT...

What I was going to say. It talks about exactly what you are dealing with. Sounds like he is struggling (like most people) with a false self...because truth be told...God did not make him a pushover. He made him in his image...and God certainly isnt a pushover.

But get Wild at Heart...he needs to keep an open mind when reading it and back everything it says with Scripture for himself as there it is contraversial stuff. Eldgridge says the heart is good...and some Christians think he is the devil for that...haha....but a great overall message in the book.