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Here's a thought, everybody

Quiet Storm

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This thought came to me as I was meditating on my way to the grocery store:

Imagine the idea of having a loved one: a mother, a dear friend, significant other, future wife, etc. (what kind of loved one doesn't really matter as long as it's a loved one). You've known this person all of your life and know exactly what it is that he or she wants according to his or her unique personality down to the core. One day, you hear him/her say in passing, "I really wish I could have this/that/whatever it may be, but I simply can't afford it. At this rate, I'll never be able to have one!" However, as luck has it, you have more than enough money to buy the gift, and because you love this person so much, you want to surprise him or her at an unexpected time with what he or she has always wanted more than anything. In addition, you decide to go the extra mile and think of the most creative way of presenting it to your loved one at the most unexpected time so that it will be the most pleasant surprise of his/her life. The thought of what your loved one's expression will be sends joy throughout your innermost being because seeing him/her happy makes you happy.

Now let's flip the script: I personally believe that the moment we pray and believe God to send us a special someone, He either starts planning or already has it all figured out. Being that so many people in the world don't even consider Him and pursue relationships based on selfish motives whether it be because they want sexual gratification, or they want someone to show off, He's not able to give them the true happiness in ways that they wouldn't even begin to expect. Therefore, when one of His children (whom He is already crazy about) involves Him in such a delicate area in his/her life with the willingness to follow His plan for marriage involving purity and every godly thing that relationships and marriges symbolize, I'm confident that He even gets excited for us in that He can and will orchestrate the most creative and memorable love story for His children that far surpasses any best-selling Romance novel. He knows every minute detail concerning the perfect mate for us, and while the world hopelessly gropes for a fantasy, we as God's children have the priveledge of having the perfect relationship a reality.

I just considered it a very encouraging thought when it came to me and it helped encourage me to remain patient, as it could be any day. :)
 

case_00

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That's a great illustration to help us get a glimpse into how excited God is about planning our futures. Imagine how much greater things can be if we let Him do the planning. Check out this verse I found (AMPLIFIED):

Psalm 27:13-14
[What, what would have become of me] had I not believed that I would see the Lord's goodness in the land of the living!
Wait and hope for and expect the Lord; be brave and of good courage and let your heart be stout and enduring. Yes, wait for and hope for and expect the Lord.

David is trying to imagine how bad off he would have been if he didn't expect God's goodness in THIS life. It shows how amazed and thankful he is about the difference that this view of God (expecting God's goodness) has made in his life.
We have to expect that God is preparing a present for us that is beyond our imaginations, so that one day we will look at our lives in amazement.
 
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joeman1

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case_00 said:
That's a great illustration to help us get a glimpse into how excited God is about planning our futures. Imagine how much greater things can be if we let Him do the planning. Check out this verse I found (AMPLIFIED):

Psalm 27:13-14
[What, what would have become of me] had I not believed that I would see the Lord's goodness in the land of the living!
Wait and hope for and expect the Lord; be brave and of good courage and let your heart be stout and enduring. Yes, wait for and hope for and expect the Lord.

David is trying to imagine how bad off he would have been if he didn't expect God's goodness in THIS life. It shows how amazed and thankful he is about the difference that this view of God (expecting God's goodness) has made in his life.
We have to expect that God is preparing a present for us that is beyond our imaginations, so that one day we will look at our lives in amazement.

you know i have never seen it like that before, but i think that you just might have something there
 
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case_00

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Quiet Storm said:
Being that so many people in the world don't even consider Him and pursue relationships based on selfish motives whether it be because they want sexual gratification, or they want someone to show off
I liked how you mentioned that people date because "they want someone to show off." I've noticed that that when people think about it, that is one of the main reasons why a lot of people date. A lot of people don't like to tell people that they don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend because they feel like people look down on them for it; they feel out of the loop.

I don't want to be anyone's trophie.
 
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joeman1

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You know case that last line that you just said made me think. to be honest i have never had much self confident and i always thought that if i had a g/f that self confidence would automaticly come with her. i have been realizing here lately that my confidence should be in Christ and not in a woman. I guess i need to stop treating my future spouse like a trophy. So to you I say "I am sorry, please forgive me."
 
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KeilCoppes

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joeman1 said:
i always thought that if i had a g/f that self confidence would automaticly come with her. i have been realizing here lately that my confidence should be in Christ and not in a woman.

Good realization! If you're not a confident man before, you won't be a confident man after... if you don't have it in yourself with God, you don't have it.

Like one of my famous philosopher friends at church says - "Step up to the plate!" Go for it!
 
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case_00

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You are forgiven; I use to think the same way about having a girlfriend. I thought that if I just had a girlfriend, then my life would change and be better than it had ever been before. Later in life, I realized that God was my solution to all my issues; I realized that the thing that could satisfy me in life was finding out who Jesus was, and that the closer I got to Him, the better off I was.

So now it irritates me when girls look to me to give them value and hope. I KNOW that I can't satisfy a woman and give her what she's looking for. I can't even satisfy myself, so I know I can't fulfill her. If I tried to, I would fail and get worn out. I know that any confidence she got from me would eventually wear off.

Giving someone else confidence is task far beyond my ability; that's God's job and he's the only one who can do it anywhere close to satisfactory. It irritates me when girls look to me as their trophy becuase I have seen how futile that is. Her trophy (me as boyfriend) will eventually fade and she will end up in the same place she started.
 
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klewlis

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joeman1 said:
You know case that last line that you just said made me think. to be honest i have never had much self confident and i always thought that if i had a g/f that self confidence would automaticly come with her. i have been realizing here lately that my confidence should be in Christ and not in a woman. I guess i need to stop treating my future spouse like a trophy. So to you I say "I am sorry, please forgive me."

:clap:
 
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Quiet Storm

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case_00 said:
So now it irritates me when girls look to me to give them value and hope. I KNOW that I can't satisfy a woman and give her what she's looking for. I can't even satisfy myself, so I know I can't fulfill her. If I tried to, I would fail and get worn out. I know that any confidence she got from me would eventually wear off.

Giving someone else confidence is task far beyond my ability; that's God's job and he's the only one who can do it anywhere close to satisfactory. It irritates me when girls look to me as their trophy becuase I have seen how futile that is. Her trophy (me as boyfriend) will eventually fade and she will end up in the same place she started.

I heard that with both ears. My sophomore year I was "talking exclusively" to someone and I felt as though it was my personal duty to "be her happiness". Needless to say I wore me out to the point where I hate the thought of thinking (yes I meant to say it that way) of the experience. Not because of her but because.....being someone's happiness is too much. I can think of fewer times when I've been more unhappy. We should contribute to each other's happiness. Not be the primary source.
 
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TriptychR

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Good words and encouragment from several people here. Sometimes I feel that part of my life is missing because I don't have a special someone in my life. But reading this has helped me to realize that believing another person can be a major solution to my own fulfillment will only lead me to disappointment. I must build upon my foundation in God before I can be strong enough to properly handle a relationship.

But what do I do about those occasional feelings of loneliness in the meantime?
 
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KeilCoppes

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TriptychR said:
But what do I do about those occasional feelings of loneliness in the meantime?
I can only tell you what I've found. The loneliness cannot be denied - denying it will only make you more empty - this I know. Even marriage will not fill it. The loneliness can only be filled with the love of God and with living. Spend your time and your emotions on loving the Lord - He will always return your love.

You can't fill nothingness with nothing - you have to fill it with a something.
 
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