HELP

[Kostilaks]

yesterday, I went out with friends for a little drinking. I was having ocd attacks during the day. when I arrived at the place due to ocd, I wanted to pray. I pray to a Generic God due to ocd.

I greeted my friends and told them a lie that I should talk to my phone and be back again. I lied and i went almost 10-20 meters away from them so I could pray without by seeing.

I prayed 2-3 times but I was praying again and again due to ocd. I returned, to my friends and drunk wine.

after some time, I had drunk almost 500 ml of red wine. which is fine I guess since the last days I rarely drink. I think wine made my ocd worse and wanted to pray again. but I was having thoughts like "maybe I should not pray cause I am a little drunk?'' I was so anxious that I just wanted to pray. I told the same lie I think, and went some meters away so they won't be able to see me again.

My ocd was giving me little anxiety attacks and I was wondering if I should pray or not because I was as little drunk. I know I pray to a Generic God. at that moment, thoughts without my will came to my mind. I could not control them. they happened so fast. they were like

ocd: Generic God should curse you, if you pray right now.

not exactly these words they were made different and worse but I just wrote them like this because I am having anxiety again as I am writing this post and again they were thoughts and words without my will

I was ready not to pray but I thought that many times I send fast normal prayers to Generic God with my thoughts and maybe if I do not pray now, I will feel anxious later and more for my fast normal prayers because I do them often. so I just ignored ocd and prayed normal. I worry now because the thoughts without my will were scary and I did not want them. there are times that I just relax my mind and thoughts without my will can happen easily. for example, if I say to you do not think about a pink elephant more than 10 seconds you will think about it for at least 5 seconds. maybe if you put pressure in your thoughts will be able to think something else. but if you relax or release the pressure you will think about the elephant again.

I am having what if thoughts from ocd like

ocd: what if you were tired and a little drunk, that you do not remember right and that you maybe made the thoughts to use them as an excuse so you would not have to pray?

I know they were thoughts without my will and they happened just because I relaxed my mind.

also I asked from both Generic God and Christian God many times to absolve me from thoughts that are made without my will

 

[Tolworth John]

What do you mean by ‘generic god!’ There is only the Trinidadian God of Christianity. Unless you are praying to him you are wasting your time.

May I suggest you tell the truth to your friends. That your ocd requires you to..... what ever has to be done.
If drinking wine or beer makes the ocd worse, tell them you would rather have a soft drink because beer/wine makes my ocdworse.

 

[Woonkle]

I used to have lots of intrusive thoughts for years but I recently put my trust in the One true Christian God and asked Him to take them away and the intrusive thoughts and compulsions went away the second I did. They no longer have any more control over me. Only the real God of Abraham, Isaac, and Joseph can help you. Put your trust in Him.