help

[misskellyann]

Ok so my bf of 9 months went away for the week to visit his cousins. I cant help but to think he is messing around on me. I dont know why I feel that way he does keep in contact with me all the time. I know he'll be doing some drinking but he says he is not going to get drunk and I need to not over react. I wish I could trust men!!! So I hope some MEN can answer this, Could a guy who says he loves his gf go away for a week and not cheat on me? Thank you for advixe

 

[Bootstrap]

So I hope some MEN can answer this, Could a guy who says he loves his gf go away for a week and not cheat on me?

Absolutely.

If you can't trust him for a week you can't trust him period. But there are lots and lots of guys you can trust.

Do you have reason to be concerned about him specifically?

Jonathan

 

[peanutbutter12]

I agree, if you cannot trust him being away for a week, how would you ever trust him if the relationship went to the next level? How would you trust him in a marriage?

Without trust, there is no love. I would suggest, if you want to continue a relationship, that you seek out some spiritual counseling on the issue. Otherwise it will be a relationship that ends badly.

 

[The Nihilist]

calm down. it'll be fine.

 

[Blank123]

my guy and i are in an LDR and often spend 3-4 months apart,and he's never cheated on me. I doubt you have anything to worry about. but i agree with the above you need to be able to trust him to be on his own without doing anything to hurt you or your relationship if you can't then your relationship is going to suffer.

 

[Windmill]

Unless he's done anything specifically that indicates he cheats frequently/easily, theres no reason for you to think he'll cheat on you at all.

 

[ImperialPhantom]

Of course he can be gone for a week without cheating on you. Even drinking doesn't necessarily mean he'll be more tempted to cheat - I've been out drinking with friends and have never been tempted to cheat. Did a guy you used to date cheat on you while drinking/away, and it's still on your subconscious?

 

[HeDied4Me]

I have a similar problem...My boyfriend of 5 months is working in a different state all summer, and because of financial reasons I am not even able to visit him. He has NEVER given me any reason to doubt his loyalty. But I still get insecure sometimes and wonder if there's something he's not telling me. It's not because of him, it's because I've seen so many occasions of long-distance relationships failing.

But I see it as a problem in the way I think...I ought to trust him but sometimes I can't help wondering. So I finally talked with him about it last night (being careful to explain that I knew I was the problem, and it wasn't because of him), and I think he felt hurt to hear that I was having problems trusting him. I apologized for that. But mostly, he was disappointed that I hadn't told him about it sooner, since he wants me to tell him if there's stuff that's bothering me for any reason.

It was really difficult to talk to him about it, because I knew it would probably hurt his feelings, but we talk about pretty much everything and we both prefer to be honest about stuff like this. So really, the one thing I regret is waiting so long to talk to him about it. Now that we've talked, I feel much better and I think it will be easier for me to stop doubting him.

For you, I guess it depends how open you and your BF are about things like that. Do you usually communicate well? Do you think he would want to know if something like that was on your mind?

 

[redneckgirl28]

Chris is gone all week every week working and I trust him completely. If you love him you should trust him.